Author Archives: Bob

by Bob

Hello! My weekend started off Friday night. I went to dinner and a movie with my friends, Walter and “Sally.“ We saw Gosford Park. I liked it, didn’t love it. There were a lot of characters to keep track of and it took forever to get the story moving. The movie experience itself was great. Everybody behaved, no ignorant slobs talking on cell phones. Saturday, I drove to Jersey City and did my laundry. Once I put my loads in I remembered why I haven’t been to Jersey City to do laundry in a long, long time. It’s just all crazy. Kids everywhere, people doing their laundry for the whole year, people using three carts at once, too much. I went to the A & P after that. I got back home, had a pizza and rearranged my bedroom, again. I finally think I have the optimum arrangement. Saturday night I went over to Bob Bowdon‘s place. Bob had 20 of his closest friends over. It’s funny, I think Bob is the exact opposite of me. He’s thin, I’m fat, he loves people, I find it hard to leave my apartment, he owns, I rent — I could really go on and on. Anyway, we left Bob’s place and went to a restaurant. We get there and they gave half of our table to someone else. Half of the party was standing, half sitting down. I was in the half that was standing. I was seconds away from leaving. This girl (sorry, can’t remember her name) talked me into staying. I stayed and had a good time. Check it out, here I am at the table:

Bob Bowdon took the photo. The girl to the right of me, Allison, grew up in Pittsburgh. That’s 45 miles away from Steubenville. I had a good time, thanks Bob. I ended the evening at Dunkin Donuts withSandi, Alex and Mindy. We had fun people watching. There was a bar crawl in Hoboken. Bar Crawl — A bunch of idiots go from bar to bar and drink all day. The “kids” were coming into Dunkin Donuts to relieve themselves. It was like a never ending parade of drunken freaks. It made me proud to be sober. Sunday, I woke up and said to myself, It’s time to drive. I went to Ikea and bought a lamp. From there, I was going to drive to Red Bank but I missed the exit to the Garden State Parkway.
So I visited my Aunt Sue and Uncle Ron in South Jersey. It’s always nice to visit. On my way back, I stopped off by the road and bought a used coffee table. The masking tape price tag read “$20” I talked him down to $15. It’s that press board crap but it’s heavy and will support my bowl of Fruit Loops just fine. I talked on the phone a little and that was my weekend. Have a good one. God Bless America. I almost forgot — Damn, I wanted the Steelers to win! They didn’t come to play. Later.

by Bob

It’s raining in New York and in my heart. Good day. Last night I was watching TV, I know what a shock! Anyway, there was nothing on so I just said to myself — rearrange the old bedroom. And that’s what I did. I tore everything down and tried to make it more roomy in there. After moving a few things around and not really getting anywhere, I almost gave up and put everything back where I started. But those are loser thoughts and I’m a winner! So, I like how it ended up, the point of this project was to make room for a computer desk. That was my night. I woke up this morning, in my “new” room, I felt like I was in a hotel. A very cheap hotel, ha ha! When I put on my socks this morning I saw and old pair I haven’t had on in years. I asked myself, if not now, then when? So, I’m wearing orange socks today. I look like a gay clown.
 
NOTE: BOBBORDEN.COM HAS NOTHING AGAINST GAY CLOWNS. I took a photo of my socks today, check them out:

*PROGRAM NOTE: THIS IS THE LAST DIARY THIS WEEK. I’M TAKING FRIDAY OFF TO REFLECT.* That’s it! Have a great weekend, see you on MONDAY. God Bless America.

by Bob

Hello. Not much to talk about today. I kept myself as busy as possible at work yesterday, the show isn’t taping this week. I was going to try my luck again at the movie theater last night but decided to go home instead. I had some chicken for dinner. I watched a few different DVD’s, just skipping around. Mad Max, Easy Rider and Two-lane Blacktop. I like good movies with cars and motorcycles. And as I’ve said before, Easy Rider is my favorite film. In Mad Max they were driving close to 100 miles an hour! Neat! My nephew Lucas hit a milestone the other day, he lost his first tooth.

Here’s Lucas and here’s a close up:

Congratulations, Luke! I remember all the trauma of getting a tooth pulled. We did the tie a string to a door knob method. That never really worked as well as it should have. The string would break or come off and you had to psych yourself all over again. Ah memories. I think that’s it for today. How’s it going? Let me know on my message board. Have a good day. God Bless America.

I believe in yesterday — The Beatles

by Bob

I went to a movie last night with Walter. We saw In The Bedroom. We wanted to see Gosford Park but it was sold out, again. That’s what we wanted to see on Sunday. In The Bedroom is a quiet movie. No music to speak of and very little action. It’s the true definition of a drama. I liked it but can’t really give an honest review. Why? Because the two idiots behind us brought in their own food and they were crumpling bags of chips all night! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! $10 for the movie, $11.75 for popcorn, soda and a hot dog (It was my dinner) and it’s ruined by inconsiderate people. I thought of turning around and saying something but I was almost 100% positive that a confrontation would ensue. I can’t get into a fight over a movie. There was also a commotion down front because someone was talking on the phone. I want to say that I’m never going to see a movie again but I can’t let “reactionary Bob” get the best of me. I am however going to sit in the last row from now on.

Why can’t movie seats have headphone jacks like in an airplane? *Headphone Jacks in movie theater seats, copyright BobBorden.com* It just seems like a simple solution. I have a theory: people are stupid and it’s only going to get worse. I get home, flip through the channels and end up on QVC. Is this my life? I talked on the phone for a bit and then back to QVC. The next thing I knew, it was 5:30 in the am. I fell asleep on the sofa. My feet were up and my body was all contorted. I go to the bathroom, and I get a nose bleed! That took a half an hour to get under control. Well, I guess if you don’t have bad days every now and then, you’d never appreciate the good days. Whatever that means.
 
God Bless America.“It’s a beautiful world we live in, A sweet romantic place, Beautiful people everywhere, The way they show they care, Makes me want to say It’s a beautiful world, It’s a beautiful world, It’s a beautiful world, For you, for you, for you, It’s not for me.”

–DEVO

by Bob

“Bob Borden, I’d like to introduce you to Bob Bowdon.”Friday night, meeting my friend Sandi and her friends for dinner. You remember the whole story from last week — I got freaked out by the idea of eating dinner in a new restaurant with new folk and backed out. Then I did the right thing and accepted the invite. So, I get down to where the restaurant is located and I walk two blocks in every direction. I can’t find this place! Finally, I had to pull up my skirt and ask a guy, how do I get to Wooster Street? He was cool and sent me in the right direction. I usually get lost the first time I go somewhere new, that’s just how it is. I get there, nice place, like something out of a movie or a very good TV show. I sit down, get a beer and the guy next to me, recognized me from the Late Show. This guy also happened to be in the party I was meeting. The pressure was off from that moment on. We sat down and we were in this cool tent. A sheer, gold tent, if you will.

Here’s a photo of all of us — From left to right: Bob, Sandi, Jim, Mindy and the other Bob:

They’re all good people. You know when you meet someone new, you either get a good vibe or you get a bad vibe. I got the good vibe. It was funny, Jim, kept speaking in hushed tones because he said he didn’t want his conversation to end up on my website. So, I’m not going to say anything about Jim. Except for this: Jim LOVES the Subway!

Oh, I almost forgot, here’s 5 photos of me with a belly dancer:

Ha ha! We went back to Hoboken and the other Bob in the party wanted to e-mail me the photos. He didn’t have the right wire for the camera so we went back to his place to get it. In the most surreal moment of the night, Bob Borden and Bob Bowdon are driving through Hoboken to pick up a wire. There were a few times throughout the evening where I thought people were talking to me but they were talking to him. I had a fun, fun night and I’m glad I went. Saturday, I drove to Nutley to do my laundry. I heard rumors of snow and while my clothes were drying, it started to come down. I drove to the old A & P because I had a feeling I wasn’t going to leave my apartment if the snow kept coming down. I watched a cult classic called The Stunt Man. It was good but not as great as I was lead to believe.
Sunday, I went into the city to see a movie with Walter and “Sally.“ The movie sold out before we could get tickets! So, we went bowling. Bowling really got expensive! 3 people, 2 games — $54!! They “get you” with the shoe rental. Renting bowling shoes is equivalent of buying air at the gas station! They keep nickel and diming me! I had a couple of strikes but didn’t do that great. I was using a 16 pound ball, I may have thrown out my hip. Walter was the big winner. On the last game I beat out “Sally” by one point! I cleaned my apartment, made some phone calls and that, as they say, was my weekend. New friends, good times and did you see the photos of me and the belly dancer? I’d like to send out birthday wishes to my friend “Chad.“ Happy Birthday, man! That’s it! Have a great day.
 
God Bless America!

by Bob

The weekend is here! Good news — I got a reprise for dinner tonight from my friend Sandi. This time I said yes! I’m looking forward to tonight. I worked late last night and when I got home, I just picked up the phone and chatted the night away. I MISS MY COMPUTER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s not that bad. I haven’t watched one full football game all season but I’m looking forward to the Steelers play. Not sure when they’re playing and who they’re playing but I’m looking forward to it. I’m going to be the guy that jumps on the bandwagon after the fact.
Here are some phrases I’m going to use on Monday:

Wow, the Rams were unstoppable!
Did you see The Bus, he was unstoppable!
You couldn’t stop the Rams’ rushing game, it was just unstoppable!

And if anyone responds and I’m forced to reply, that’s when I fake a knee injury and hobble away into my land of cooking shows and HGTV. And that ladies and gentlemen, wraps up yet another week in the life of Bob Borden. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you told a friend about BobBorden.com *BobBorden.com, voted best site on the internet* Have a great one. God Bless America!

by Bob

Tents and ChairsI got that computer stuff sorted out, I think. Soon, I’ll be able to waste more time online. Man, I miss not having a computer at home, have I mentioned that? Ha ha. In your personal interactions with people, did you ever just mess up? Well, I just messed up. A friend invited me out to dinner with her friends this weekend. Sounds cool, right? Right. Then, I found out that the place was an “out of the ordinary” place. In this restaurant, they have belly dancers and you eat in a tent. Once I factored in the stress meeting new people and eating in a tent, I freaked and backed out. Meeting new people/going out is exactly what I need to do. I don’t know if you’ve noticed in my diary but lately I seem to be in a rut. Anyway, the damage is done, the ship has sailed. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m sorry, Sandi. By the way I act sometimes, you’d think I grew up under a rock. I’m going to stop beating myself up.

Last night my friend and webmaster Walter called me. He was in the streets of NYC. It seems that somebody threw out a cool leather chair.


He was debating if he should take it off the street and needed advice. As we were talking some woman sat down on the chair, right while Walter was standing next to it! So, Walter walked down the block a little. As we were talking the woman’s friends joined her. They didn’t take the chair — they turned it on its side, put boxes on it and went into a restaurant. They were hiding it! Walter told me this and asked my advice. I said something like this, “Dude, you want the chair, you were there first, some chick just came by and sat in it! Law of the streets man, if it’s on the street, it’s fair game — go, go, go, GO! Call me when you get home!” 18 minutes later, he calls. He said something like, “I just said screw it, I went over to the chair, threw the boxes down and made this loud noise, I didn’t care, I took the chair and never looked back. Thanks for the pep talk.” I like that story, it has everything. Action, drama, suspense, a whole lot of comedy and two idiots. All this for a chair that was probably used in a photo spread that involved men and oil. You never know, this is New York City.

Anyway, I’m glad I could help out a brother. I have to run. Have a good day. God Bless America.

by Bob

I was going to go see a movie last night, but at the last second I decided I didn’t feel like seeing a movie alone. I went home instead and man, what a great time I had, ha ha. I can’t even remember what I watched on the tube. I ended up falling asleep on the sofa, I woke up at 2am. Had no idea where I was. Man, it’s cold in NY today. 38 degrees but I have a feeling there’s a wind chill factor to contend with.

I ordered a “new” computer from a discount place. They have a back log of about 3 days before they can process my order — no big deal, in fact, thanks for letting me know. I’m shipping the computer to my brother in Ohio so he can tweak it for me. I find out today that the company won’t process the order because my credit card address doesn’t match the shipping address. That’s what’s on my mind right now. In fact, I’m cutting it short today so I can work this out.AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Bobby needs a computer! Have a good one. God Bless America.