by Bob

Hello or should I say welcome back. The rest of the world had President’s Day off while I had the BobBorden.com staff working overtime, ha ha. Seriously, it was lonely in here. I’m writing this like I’m in the webpage, you know, like Tron. Maybe I am inside my webpage? AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!! Internet Acting, thank you, thank you very much. First up today, I need to take care of some business.

Last week I told you about former Late Show writer, Jill Davis. She’s coming out with a book today and I just want you to think about that the next time you’re in the checkout line buying some crap novel by some pompus jerk! Jill’s the real deal! Jill Davis, Girls’ Poker Night. Say it with me, “Jill Davis, Girls’ Poker Night.” Again, “Jill Davis, Girls’ Poker Night.” COME ON, I CAN’T HEAR YOU, “Jill Davis, Girls’ Poker Night!” OK, that’s better. She’s funny, you know the book will be great — just do yourself a favor and buy it.

OK. As I mentioned earlier, I spent President’s Day at work. I don’t have a whole lot that’s new. I was tired at work yesterday. My sleep patterns got messed up this weekend, I guess, I’m no doctor. Last night, I stopped off at the old 24 hour cigar store to pick up some lotto tickets. While I was there, I purchased a soda, Mountain Dew Code Red. It’s a cherry soda. Mmmm, I like cherry soda. So, since this is a new soda and the first time I’ve tried it, I decided to do a taste test. This is a BobBorden.com exclusive!!!! Here are the challengers:

Swill vs. Mountain Dew Code Red, who will emerge victorious? Which beverage will I enjoy more — The common garden variety Swill or cherry Code Red? Let’s take a look:

Ugh, they’re both equally awful! Swill has a hard to describe aftertaste. And Code Red has a harsh taste of lighter fluid followed by an aftertaste of rotten fruit. I could also imagine that if you were to lick the pole in a subway train, Code Red would come to mind. Swill vs. Mountain Dew Code Red….the winner:

It’s a tie. There are no winners in this taste test. Why did I buy Mountain Dew? WHY?????!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow’s test: Swill vs. Hawaiian Punch. That’s it! God Bless America.