by Bob
I got home late from work last night, turned on the tube and Andy Griffith was on. He was sitting on his porch, playing his guitar to his lady, Helen. That’s what I want! A porch, a lady and the ability to play the guitar. I’m not asking for a lot, right? Excuse me for a second, Lord? Why don’t I have a porch, a lady and the ability to play the guitar? What’s my purpose Lord? Why am I here? Lord? Lord! LORD!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I’m back. Thanks.BobBorden.com was all a buzz yesterday with the No Contest Contest. As you’ll recall from Thursday’s diary, I gave you, yes you, the chance to win the modern classic, Stargate. The message board was overloaded with activity! Thank you for entering! Without further adieu, I love saying that — without further adieu, the results of the No Contest Contest. With me is my lovely assistant, Pam. Say hello to the nice readers Pam, “Hi.” Thanks Pam. OK, here we go!

Pam mixes up the entries

and the winner is:

Carl


In my wildest dreams, I never thought I’d be saying, “And the winner is Carl.” Ha ha. Congratulations, Carl!! E-mail your address and soon, you and yours will be entertained by the best film that Hollywood had to offer us, one week in 1998. Special thanks to Pam for helping me through the crazy day.

If you’ll recall last Thursday’s diary, I had a nice run in with a stranger (a woman) on the bus. I was hoping against hope that lightening would strike twice but no dice. Life’s a bitch sometimes. I did do a good deed last night. We were boarding the bus and I saw a guy get off and start looking through his bag. He was looking for a dime. I said to myself, help a brother out and I gave him a dime. How cool am I? OK, I have to be honest, I really did that good deed because there was a pretty woman in front of me and I wanted to look good. We (men) truly are stupid.

I’m a little tired today. I’ve been up since 7:30 checking out all that great World Cup Action. My man in Korea, Nigel Williams filed this report.

Nigel here, the United States team lost to
Germany, 1 – 0.

Thanks Nigel. I don’t know about you but that Nigel guy gave me the creeps. I hated to see the U.S. lose but I’m glad to get Nigel off the BobBorden.com payroll.

Sometimes, I turn on Sundance Channel or Independent Film Channel and I just feel like throwing my TV out the window! Lord knows I’m all for art but it just seems like they’ll play any piece of crap that comes down the line. This diary is getting more like Larry King’s column everyday. OK, I’m not going to add more to my novel today because I’ve had such a hectic week, I didn’t have the time to craft it properly. I’m shooting for next Friday. That is it. Have a great weekend. God Bless America.