11-28-02 Holy moly it's cold out! Last night marked the first night I needed to put on my gloves. Had I had a hat with me, I would have put that on too. However, my Pea Coat is mighty warm! Those Navy boys knew what the heck they were doing when they put that together. Hey, I just remembered, Happy Thanksgiving! I'm at work. I should say, I will be at work when you read this - I'm writing this Wednesday night. But I pretty much know how the day will play out. Get up really early, work, enjoy the lovely meal at work and after work something new for me this year, I'm going to see a movie with friends. I'm looking forward to the movie. I'm thinking about starting Tommy Maddox this week in my Fantasy Football league but he's coming off an injury and the coach won't say for sure if he's going to start or if Kordell Stewart will start. I'm in a quandary, I feel like risking it with Maddox but at the same time, I've been talking a lot of smack this week because I had the highest score this season, 2841 thank you very much, and I don't want to put in a player that ain't going to play - Bobby needs points baby! Decisions, decisions! If you hear anything today, please let me know. There's no one checking out my site today, right? I can't imagine who that person would be? If you are checking out my site today, Happy Thanksgiving, now go eat some turkey! Program note: BobBorden.com is on hiatus until December 9th. I'm taking a break because I want to get all my Christmas shopping done early this year. Wish me luck! See ya on the 9th! God Bless America. 12:19 am Friday Tonight, Walter, "Sally", Chris, Jay and myself caught the new James Bond film, Die Another Day. I don't think I've ever seen a movie on a major holiday before. I was surprised that it was sold out. I was even more surprised by how much the movie stank! And that's why I'm making a special 12:30 am post. You don't need to go to this movie, learn from my mistake. When I was watching the first sequence of the film, it felt like a parody of the genre - the very genre that this series of films created in the first place. I have to get to bed. Bad movie. 11-27-02 I want one of those UN inspector trucks. Those things are sweet! Although the looks I'd get from people probably wouldn't be worth it. Once again society is preventing me from doing something I want to do - Damn society! It's Thanksgiving Eve, if I can call it that. I hope everyone has a great one and I hope all your travels are safe. I'll be here tomorrow. We work on Thanksgiving. I think this is my eighth Thanksgiving away from home. 7 or 8, something like that. We put the show on, a lovely meal is brought in and then we go home. It's really kind of cool. I can stick my head out the window and watch the Macy's Day Parade head down Broadway. The last few years, I drove my car in. I think I'm going to break tradition this year. I just have a vibe that's telling me to take the subway. I was really on the fence last night. I wasn't sure if I should check out The Osbournes. They're just so overexposed, if there is such a term anymore. I didn't watch it. I decided to do a little self-introspection. OK, I played GameCube. I didn't learn a lot about myself but I didn't buy into the corporate Osbourne PR machine either. I'll check it out this weekend; MTV repeats everything 100 times anyway. That last paragraph was brought to you by one of my new characters, Redundant Bob. Personally, I think Redundant Bob is a jerk. I saw a report yesterday on the number of websites out there that beg for money. I thought to myself, what kind of desperate people are out there? Let's say I had a rich reader checking out BobBorden.com. I'd never, oh, say, ask for a Tivo - that's so beneath me. Whatever happened to the great American work ethic?! OK, I've made my point -- enough said. I need a haircut. Just a trim, nothing major. But every time I go to SuperCuts and no matter how little I ask them to take off, they always take off the same amount. Hey, did you know that a Tivo can pause live TV? Huh. Anyway, back to my hair. So, I may just trim a little around my ears and call it a haircut. You can record like 60 hours with a Tivo. That's cool. I'm getting to the stage where I have to tell the barber to cut around the bald spot. It's not bald yet, just very, very thin. Fat, going bald and poor - that's what I call the triple threat! Hello ladies. Screw it, somebody buy me a Tivo! Whew, I went a long way for that one! The only saving grace is knowing that the whole world is probably on vacation today. No one's reading this. I can say anything I want! I'm free, FREE!!!!!!!!! I want that new Honda Element. That looks like a cool little truck. They probably want you to pay for it with money. There's the catch! This is a photo of the above paragraphs OK, that's it for me. I'll be here on Thanksgiving. God Bless America. I like Jazz. 11-26-02 I'll tell you what I did last night; I got home, hit the showers and watched Monday Night Football. This Fantasy League I'm in has changed my life! And damn if that shower didn't feel great! I don't know the names of all the plays and I don't know the names of all the teams/players but I still like it. I still laugh when I see a crowd shot of some guys holding up a "D" and a paper fence. Again, in high school, I was in the band. I don't have anything new to talk about. So, I'm going to end it here. Have a great day. God Bless America. PS Mom, I don't want to hear about this. Sometimes I just don't have anything to write about. Stay sweet. 11-25-02 Hello. First up today, congratulations to Zach! Zach won my karaoke CD giveaway from Friday. Zach, send me your address and my greatest hits will be in the mail today. People really do win on BobBorden.com! Friday night! I didn't do much. Picked up some Mexican food and enjoyed some TV. I was shocked by one event Friday night. My cat Billy usually sleeps on top of the kitchen cabinets - that's his spot. I hung up the phone and happened to glance over, they were both up there. Evelyn never hangs out up there, never! Evelyn takes one giant step into Billy's territory I felt like the proud papa. Sometimes it feels like Wild Kingdom around here. Saturday, I kicked around the house until 4. I was just relaxing. Then, I got the urge to do my laundry. I headed off to Nutley to my favorite laundry mat but the traffic was just too much. I turned around and headed to Jersey City. I don't like the Jersey City laundry mat but it's next to the A & P, so at least I can get my shopping done while my clothes are washing. I put my clothes in, then detergent and then the bleach. As soon as I put in the bleach, my heart sank. Holy crap, I put the bleach in with the colors! That's such a rookie mistake -- I was mortified! Quickly, I took everything out of the machine but the damage was done. Bob ruined his clothes I lost two great shirts, some pants, a few towels and underwear. I just bought the jeans a month ago! I was so defeated. I got home and added my newly bleached items to my "play clothes" drawer. Damn Damn Damn. I watched The Royal Tenenbaums, cooked up a steak and washed away my bad experience with Diet Sprite and potato chips. Sunday, I woke up around 11 and got ready for football. This fantasy league I'm in has really made it more interesting for me. I watched the Jets game. Around 4 I got a shower. The plan was to go outside and walk around. I never made it but I am glad I got a shower. I wish my apartment had a tub - sometimes I just feel like a bath. The Sopranos was uneventful. They can't all be winners. And no more Curb Your Enthusiasm - Darn. I watched 'Like Father, Like Son' on Sunday also. And that brings us to today's Question of the Day. Which switch-a-ro film did you like best - Like Father, Like Son or Vice Versa? I'm not including 18 Again in that question because that film was horrible. My vote is for Vice Versa. Let me know on my message board. That's it. Have a great day. God Bless America. 11-22-02 Hello. I've been very encouraged by all the message board activity this week. Thanks to everybody for adding your two cents. Well, it's Friday, I made it through another week. I'm looking forward to a very low-key weekend of sleep, relaxing and hanging with friends or anyone that wants to hang out, ha ha. I don't mean to tell two bus stories back to back but when they happen, they happen. I was riding on the bus last night and two people said my pet peeve again. They got on their phones and said, "I'm in the tunnel, and I'll be there in 5 minutes." If I were on the receiving end of a phone call like that, my response would be, "You called me just to say that?!" Anyway, sitting one seat away from me was a very lovely Asian woman. She was talking on her cell phone. Her phone was hooked up to one of those wire headsets. Allow me to demonstrate: Bob demonstrates proper cell phone etiquette She had the mic close to her mouth and I couldn't hear a damn thing she was saying! I LOVE THIS WOMAN! That's class, pure and simple. I was going to talk about something else and darn if I didn't forget. Damn! I avoided a cold this week. I felt like crap on Wednesday. I asked my friend Lee for some vitamin C - his office is like a drugstore. He gave me this huge multi vitamin horse pill. This is gross but it changed the color of my urine for the whole day. That's pretty much the end of that story. I should erase that; ah screw it. Like you never took a pill that changed the color of your urine? Prudes. I'm coming up on my third year of making Christmas CDs for my friends and family. I was looking through my CDs last night and stumbled on my first project, Bob Borden Live From The German Beer Garden. It's a karaoke CD. The song list is: Should I stay or should I go, Close to you, You're the one that I want, Dancing queen, Rave on, Eye of the tiger, Everything I do, Jailhouse rock, Uptown girl and an original studio track, 500 Hot. I'm going to give it away to one lucky BobBorden.com reader. Win Bob's karaoke CD!!!! If you spotted the mistake I purposely made in today's diary, tell me about it on my message board and you'll automatically be entered to win this very limited edition CD. I reserve the right to cancel multiple entries, so play nice. Entries must be received by the end of today. The winner will be announced in Monday's diary. Only one person can win, to the losers, some advice - be nice to the winner, maybe he/she will make a copy of it for you? That's it! Have a great weekend! God Bless America. 11-21-02 I must apologize for the last two days of diaries. I let myself down, I let my fans down and I let my Mom down. No kidding, my Mom! I got an IM yesterday from her: "That wasn't even worth logging on for." Wow, thanks Mom! To make up for my misgivings, you're in for a treat today. Today, I'm going to write the diary with a British accent. So, join me for what I promise will be the best diary this week. Sweet Lord, I had such a horrible bus ride home last night. No traffic, it was a straight shot through the tunnel. The people around me just drove me nuts. The bus was not ventilated. I don't need air conditioning, just a little fresh air. Smelling a bus full of stale cologne is enough to make me sick. Four, count 'em, four people made cell phone calls to their significant others with the exact same message, "I'm on the bus, I'll be home in 5 minutes." That drives me crazy! What did these people do before cell phones?! As far as I'm concerned, that's cell phone abuse. I know I've talked about that before but these people just don't seem to care about others around them. I'm really looking forward to the stage in my life when I'm not dependant on public transportation to survive. I went to the CD store last night. I was looking for a couple of old CDs; they didn't have them. I found a used Rollins Band live CD. It's $17 new; I got it for $10. Just what the doctor ordered to knock out some pent up stress/anger. I also picked up a used CD from a new band, Loudermilk. The jury is still out on that purchase. I bought it mostly because they used to be a Guns 'n Roses cover band. I heard that Slash and the other members of Guns are getting back together to record a record - minus Axl, of course. That'd be great! Slash is a great guitarist. And that's it for music news, ha ha. I think I'm getting a cold. My throat felt a little funny yesterday. It went away throughout the day but then I started feeling lightheaded. Note to my Mom - yes, I'm taking vitamins and getting plenty of rest. Damn colds! I've been talking about driving up North for about a month to check out the fall foliage. When I was walking back from the record store I noticed several trees without leaves. I think I missed nature's fireworks. I also missed that damn meteor shower the other day. I need to start picking up on the little joys of life. I'm deep into the work, sleep, work, sleep rut right now. DEEP! I feel good about today's diary. I even made a little outline to follow so it wouldn't suck today. Bob wrote an outline for today's diary (he tried today, he really tried!) OK! That's it! Have a great Thursday. God Bless America. 11-20-02 I want to do something different today. Expanding on my 15 minute diary from yesterday, I thought, why not a 30-second diary? Here we go: Woke up early yesterday, was at work by 8:30. I forgot to eat lunch - Blah blah blah. Here's a photo of me next to my lamp. Bob wrote today's diary in 30 seconds (someone should tell Bob these "timed" diaries suck) Got home, played some games, watched TV and relaxed. TIME. OK, wow, 30 seconds isn't a long time but I made my bed and I have to sleep in it. Mmmmmm, bed. That's it. God Bless America. 11-19-02 If I were the kind of person that titled his diaries and BTW, I'm not that kind of person, I'd title this one, 15-minute diary. Why? Because it's only going to take me 15 minutes to write it! Not because I don't care - I care; I really care. But because it's 10:56 pm as I write this and I had a total of four beers. Three more than I wanted. I was walking home and called up my friend Tiffany. I was thinking, damn, I wish I had a beer right now. She was game and the rest is history. I actually needed to kick it. I just feel stressed out these days. Not sure why? Anyway, Tiffany's a good friend and man, did she have a great story to tell! I can't share it with you because I'm sworn to secrecy - I can only say that a night at the pub was just what the doctor ordered - for both of us. I think this is the part of my diary where I put up a stupid photo. This is a photo of Bob's lampshade - Honestly, he's not even trying today OK, my 15-minutes are up. This was the best diary ever. I went out, that's something. Have a great Tuesday! God Bless America. 11-18-02 Friday night, I watched The Man Who Wasn't There. Good movie. Saturday, I headed into the city to help my friend Jay move. He was moving to another apartment in his building. What an easy move! You pick stuff up, get on the elevator and you're done. We moved a bookcase, some other bigger items and a sofa. Now, I want to talk about the sofa. There we were, four guys and a sofa vs. the elevator. The elevator won. We couldn't get that SOB in there for anything! It was delivered in the elevator; history proves that it fit in there at one point. We had to carry it down a narrow staircase, 5 fights. What a struggle! Did I mention it was a sleeper sofa? We got it down to Jay's new apartment and all was right with the world. I headed back to Hoboken. I was an hour too early to see Punch-Drunk Love, damn. I walked over to the video game store and did a little window-shopping. I think I figured out what game system I want. Saturday night, I just watched TV and did more research on games. Sunday, I woke up early and drove to Nutley to do my laundry. I got there around 10. There was only one other person in there and he was already drying his stuff. I love that. I grew a goatee this weekend but you can't really see it. Weekend goatee After laundry, I drove to the A & P. I got home, unloaded my stuff and headed out to the video game store. I traded in my old ps1 last weekend and I also cashed in all of my old coins. I was ready to make my purchase. I decided to buy a GameCube. $50 cheaper than x-box/PS2, very compact, great wireless controller and all the games I care about are made for the GameCube too. I'm not a fan of the shooter games. I'm more of a Mario guy. I like that the gamecube is just about games. No DVD or CD burner crap, just games. I really like it! I watched some football, cooked up a steak and ended my night with The Sopranos and Curb your Enthusiasm. I had a good weekend. That's it! God Bless America. Enough with the Old Navy commercials already! ENOUGH! 11-15-02 I think I'm safe when I say that Sweeps is to TV what Income Tax time is to Accountants. My point? I don't think I have one. I'm just tired and for the second day in a row, my eye is twitching. I'm pretty sure it's just a muscle spasm. If it turns out to be a permanent thing, well, I really have to have a serious talk with the Lord. Lord, give me a break already! A girlfriend or a small lotto win, that's all I ask. Please, I don't need a twitch. Lord, can you hear me? Lord. Lord? LORD!!!!!!!!!!! Internet praying, thank you, thank you very much. On the bus home tonight, there was a guy that looked a lot like me. It was very uncomfortable. If anything, it explains why I don't have a girlfriend - I'm a mess! I was very close to asking if I could take his photo for my site. Then I thought; that's probably a bridge I shouldn't cross. Sometimes it's good to think things through. I'm happy at the moment, I got through a very busy Thursday with flying colors and now I have the weekend in my sights -- the sweet, sweet weekend. I should probably make some plans or something? Screw it; I'll probably just play it by ear. I wonder if it's worth driving up north to see the fall foliage? I wouldn't mind going for a long drive and finding a little apple orchard somewhere. I should start eating apples. Maybe that'd break my almost yearlong binge on sugar. Damn sugar! Damn, I just remembered, I can't go anywhere on Saturday, I have to help my friend Jay move -- although, that shouldn't take all day. This may be a very easy move. He's moving in to another apartment in his building. Sweet. OK, that's it. God Bless America. Have a great weekend everybody! 11-14-02 Hello. If I can make it through today, I'm home free! I think I'm developing a nervous tick in my right eye from stress. That's all I need! Maybe it's just a muscle gone awry? I think I have a crick in my neck. I'm falling apart! What's a worse name for a movie than "Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever"? "Extreme Ops". Congratulations Hollywood! Good luck with that one. I don't like the local news. I just saw a story and the reporter was talking about the Mayor of NY's plan to raise the commuter tax. To make her point that the tax would be 5 times higher, she raised her voice and said "5 times higher." News seems to be leaning more and more into entertainment. CNN has completely lost it. News about Iraq was breaking left and right yesterday and they were running an expose on Kermit the Frog. Enough. I can't believe I have to cut it short again today. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. I've hit a rut. In my high school drama class the teacher, Mrs. DeMayo, encouraged us to keep a diary. She told us if we couldn't think of anything to write, just write "I can't think of anything to write" and something will come to you. The important thing is to get into the habit of writing. She passed that knowledge on to me and I'm passing it on to you. That was the only class in High School I did well in, besides band. OK, that's it! God Bless America. 11-13-02 I was waiting for the bus last night for an uncomfortable amount of time. I was hot, some crazy lady kept checking for the bus every five seconds and I was getting pissed. That's when I performed one of my favorite moves. I saw a bus from another company come into the station and I sprung into action: I walked across the upper platform, went back down stairs, walked to the other stop, walked back up the stairs and caught the other bus - nirvana! I'm telling you, it's the little things! On my walk home, I noticed the basketball court was covered with leaves -- it was very pretty. It's my photo of the day today. I liked it because it was out of character. A basketball court should be filled with basketball players. I like fall. I watched a show about snipers on the History channel last night. It was very interesting. I wonder if they have classes on welding? I always wanted to weld something. OK, I think I've run out of things to say already. But instead of cutting it short two days in a row, I've arranged for a guest "speaker" to entertain you. My friend Pam was kind enough to help me out today. Without further adieu, I present to you - Three Paragraphs with Pam: "Although I was completely flattered that Bob asked to write a little something in his diary, I don't think I will be any more amusing than he is. I decided I could use this opportunity to vent out on something that is bothering me. Here we go. Monday night my younger sister Cynthia called me at work and told me something strange happened to her. She received a collect call at our house from someone who she thought was Jill (later she admits they could have said Milton). Jill is a friend of mine from work, so she thought it might have been an emergency and foolishly accepted the call. A woman was on the line laughing and told her to hold on. Someone started playing the song "Dancing in the Street", followed by a ring as if she was being transferred to someone else. A guy then picks up and plays the hello game with her, you know, the one where you both keep saying hello until one person gives in and says "who is this?" well she quit, hung up on him and called me. Pam tells a story of phone calls, lust and deception Right away my mind traveled to those annoying emails warning you about people tapping into your phone line and dialing 900 numbers that run up your bill!!! I can't lie I was afraid. I instructed her to immediately call the operator and report the situation. The operator told her to write down the time and date of the call and wait for the phone bill to see if any strange charges are on it. Being that I just got my phone bill I have to wait until next month to further investigate! I feel better now that I let that out. If this or anything similar has ever happened to anyone else please let the staff at bobborden.com know. Thank you Bob Borden, and bobborden.com readers." -- No, thank you Pam. I'm sure it was just a stupid prank. Damn punk kids! That's it! Have a great day. God Bless America. 11-12-02 Tuesday. I watched Monday Night Football last night. I'm in a Fantasy Football league this year and I'm enjoying football a whole lot more. I said it before and I'll say it again, I'm not a sports guy, I was in the band. I also listened to a Warren Zevon LP that I purchased on EBAY last week. It was my first purchase on Ebay -- it was very exciting. The LP was great! -- A live record from 1980, it was unopened and only $15 including shipping. It's not out on CD. My only other option was to buy it on cassette. I don't like cassettes. I recorded the LP on to mini disc. I still like the mini disc format. Now that I have a copy that won't deteriorate, I think I'm going to give the LP to a guy at work that would really enjoy it - I'm cool like that. Ha ha. Sometimes vinyl is cool I may have to end it here today. Sometimes there's just nothing else to say, you know? If you missed yesterday, don't forget to check out the archives. If I think of something wonderful, I'll update this later today but I doubt it. God Bless America. 11-11-02 Hello, Hello, Hello. I had a pretty good weekend. Friday night, I didn't do much. In fact, I can't remember what I did? That's odd? Oh my God, I must have been drugged! Ah, I'm just kidding. I think I played some old-school Playstation and flipped through the TV dial. Now, here's where all the fun starts happening - Saturday. I woke up around 10:30. There was a water main break earlier in the week and a boil water order was in effect. I woke up thirsty and wasn't sure if the water was OK to drink. I always say, better safe than sorry, so I opened up the fridge and grabbed a beer. Man, was that a good feeling! I felt like a rock star. Around that time, my friend Walter called up and said, "let's play some video games." I thought that was a pretty good idea. A few hours later, I was on my way to Walter and "Sally's" place. I usually take the train over to the city but I wasn't in the mood. I got in my car and drove over. I like driving places; it makes me feel like a human. I didn't have too much trouble finding a spot. Walter and I played Tony Hawk 3, very spirited game play. Then, Jay called up and said, "Let's go see 8 mile" and before we knew it, we were on our way to 8 mile. Walter, "Sally", Colleen, Jay and Bob enjoyed 8 mile And now it's time for a new feature to BobBorden.com - I call it, BobBorden.com's 8-word movie review - here it goes: I have to say, I really enjoyed it. And that was BobBorden.com's 8-word movie review. After that, Walter, "Sally" and I went back and played more video games. I have a video game jones right now. Damn video game jones! I drove back to Hoboken around 12:30. At 12:30, the only parking spots are on the other end of town. To my shock and amazement, there was a spot on my block! Unheard of at that hour! I was in the zone! Sunday, my alarm was set for 7:30, I wanted to get up early, grab hold of the day and make it mine! I woke up around 11. Oh well, the day could still be mine! I headed over to the A & P; I had a date with the Coinstar machine. That machine is the best invention of the 21st century! I had about $78. That's sweet money! I did some shopping and headed back home to drop off my goods. It was 67 degrees on Sunday; I put some shorts on and drove to Nutley to do my laundry. I had a perfect laundry experience. There weren't a lot of people in there -- I love that. While my clothes were drying I enjoyed some pizza and watched some football. Very calming. I drove back to Hoboken and I got the best spot on the street! SCORE! It's the best spot because no one can park in front or behind you. So, I have $78 burning a hole in my pocket. I'm thinking about upgrading my old Playstation. I'm leaning towards a Game Cube or a PS2. I'm undecided. I took my old system and traded it in for store credit. I had fun looking around the store, I'm not sure why. I was close to buying the Game Cube but I really need to think about it. I watched a lot of football, The Sopranos, Curb your Enthusiasm and so on. That's it! OK, have a great day. God Bless America. 11-08-02 Hello. I hope you enjoyed yesterday's BobBorden.com Classic diary. I couldn't believe I slept my night away. I probably should have slept last night as well. I just got home late and watched some TV -- kind of boring. But in the same breath, I don't seem to have the drive to do things anymore. I'm sick of bars, smelly movie theaters and just people in general. Case in point. I check my mail last night and I got a letter that was insulting. This is what its come to It's addressed to "Our single friend" - What the hell!? Now my mail is mocking me? I don't need this. I know I'm single. I get sales calls on my phone machine all the time and now this? Is this the new trend in advertising? What's next, a telegram addressed to 'fat ass in Hoboken'?! Why the heck not?! I tired; I should have gone to bed earlier. I'm not making any sense. I have nothing lined up for this weekend. I think the last thing I need right now is a solitary weekend. I just need to do some stuff and all will be right with the world. Did I mention that as I'm writing this, 1:22 a.m., I'm very tired. I need new shoes. Maybe I can buy new shoes? I also need to get some new glasses; it's been a while. I have to say; the glasses I've been sporting for the last two years have just been great -- Stylish, sexy and comfortable. They're going to be hard to beat. I had some messed up glasses growing up: red frames, glasses with beveled lenses, square glasses - you name 'em -- I tried 'em. OK, that's all I got. Have a great weekend. God Bless America. 11-07-02 OK, this has never happened before. I got home last night and jumped into bed for a second. Man, with my comforter on there, my bed is like a cocoon. The next thing I knew, I opened up my eyes and it was 1:18 am. I'm in quite the diary spot. Nothing really happened to me yesterday and it's really too late for me to spend a lot of time on this today. So, enjoy this BobBorden.com CLASSIC DIARY from 7-11-01. 7/11 was a crazy time, pre 9/11, some call it the age of innocence -- enjoy this historical look back in time. 7-11-01 It's official! I'm the proud owner of a 1989 Nissan 240sx coupe. 106,000 miles, power sunroof, windows, mirrors and it has a/c!!!!!!!! The best part of this whole transaction was that I bought it off a nice couple - not a dealer. I love it when you meet someone and right away you know they're good people. Steve and Lis (pronounced - Liz), thank you very much for a great transaction! Everything just clicked. Now, here's the thing that I'm a little worried about, it's a 5-speed and I can't drive a 5-speed. So why did I get it? It's always been a fantasy to be able to shift those gears. I'd watch Steve McQueen shift in Bullitt and say to myself - damn that's cool. Then the reality set in that I drive a Skylark and then I'd go eat a bag of chips. Walter is going to show me the ropes tonight, I'm eager to learn! If you know of anyone that needs a Skylark for cheap, in the NY/NJ area, drop me a line. Wow, I'm excited! I had my '89 Skylark since day one. A lot of good times with that ride, college, work, vacations, kicking it on the turnpike. I'm going to miss her. Screw it; I'm going to ask Walter if he'll drive it off a cliff for me, ha ha. It got me here from Ohio; it's not that bad. I went to bed last night reading the owner's manual. OK, that's it; I'm too excited to write about anything else today. Be real, have a great day! One more thing, the first song I'm going to play in my new ride is Bob Seger's Against the Wind. 11-06-02 TV shows I should be watching but I'm not: 24 - end of list. I missed the first season and I just haven't been able to watch it this season. I have two regular shows to keep up with, The Sopranos and Curb your Enthusiasm - how many new shows can one man watch? I need a Tivo. I watched American Movie instead of 24. I was busy yesterday adding some new items to the BobBorden.com store. Just added: A lovely holiday ornament, just in time for the holidays. And a Flying Disc - also, just in time for the holidays? They're both adorned with the classic BobBorden.com logo - buy early, buy often. And coming soon: A BobBorden.com Wall Clock. More information on that when I get it. Yesterday, I talked about changing the "text" on my cell phone. I changed it from "ready" to "Killyourcell" -- I turn it on today and it reads: Bob's cell phone fights back "Hi asshole" What the heck!? Technology. Is there any type of "AA" program for people addicted to sweets? I tried a mock diet yesterday -- I didn't eat enough throughout the day. Then at night, it was hello crap train! Damn leftover Halloween candy! Damn sugar! Damn Damn Damn! Somebody buy me a Tivo. If there are any wealthy industrialists out there, now is the time to speak up! Wait; let me use reverse psychology. ATTENTION wealthy industrialists: I DARE YOU TO BUY me a Tivo. Was that reverse psychology? Oh what does it matter, no wealthy industrialists are checking out my site. (Now that was reverse psychology! I think.) That's it. Tune in tomorrow when I make a desperate plea to wealthy widows. Have a great day. God Bless America. 11-05-02 Who's looking forward to 8 Mile? The best soda on the market right now is Dr. Pepper's Red Fusion. It's very tasty; it can't be good for you. Soda/pop is the modern equivalent of tonics and elixirs. Think about it - it's carbonated, sugar water. We don't need it. I need to stop drinking soda. I had a good breakfast yesterday. I had some oatmeal, some OJ and a croissant. OK, the croissant wasn't really good for me but I needed something else - Cut me some slack! They give Heroin addicts methadone when they try to kick the habit -- A croissant is my methadone. On my way home last night, the guy at the game store was taking out the trash. I took this opportunity to ask him the value of my old-school Playstation. His answer -- $15. $15! I couldn't believe it. I'd rather throw it in the sewer than sell it for $15. I was really surprised/shocked. I got back home and tried to beat this Tony Hawk game. I couldn't do it. So, I got online and found a cheat code that unlocks everything in the game. I played around for 15 minutes and my "addiction" was cured. Sometimes, cheating is necessary -- remember that kids. After that, I took some time to update my cell phone. I got rid of old numbers, called a number and updated something and I changed the main message. It used to read "ready" but I changed it to this: Bob updates his cell phone It says, "Killyourcell" it's like a bumper sticker for the phone. I did have "F**K you" but that seemed like I was saying that to myself. After that, I looked at my real phone, then at my cell, then at my real phone and again at the cell. You guessed it -- I called myself. And to make matters worse, I started talking. I enjoyed the echo. Here's something odd. I felt this pinching in my underwear last night. Upon further investigation, one of those security tags was stuck to my drawers. Bob found this in his underwear ouch! Odd, I didn't buy any new clothes with those security tags? Then it hit me, when I did my laundry, I found one of those in the wash - it's not from my clothes. Or is that exactly what they want me to think? I've never done this before but I need to encrypt something - you won't be able to read what I'm about to write, only the intended person with the encryption key will be able to read it, please bear with me. --I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I WANT OUT - I WON'T BE YOUR LOVER AND I WON'T BE YOUR SPY - STOP TRYING TO TRACK MY EVERY MOVE. END ENCRYPTION-- OK, thank you. That's it. Have a great day. God Bless America. 11-04-02 I had a revelation this weekend. Friday night, I just finished a marathon session of eating and playing Tony Hawk 2 on the PSone. It was two in the morning, I was trying to go to sleep and I just felt like crap. I overate, again. I just said to myself, F#@K this (I like to curse when I talk to myself) I can't do this anymore. So, I'm going to try and cut back on the crap this week and train my body to crave good things. I can't remember the last time I had an apple - sad. I can tell you the last time I ate a whole jar of Pringles in one sitting - sadder. I got a problem with eating crap and I'm the only one that can fix it. Saturday, I got in the car and drove to Nutley to do my laundry. While I was putting my wash in, I noticed this woman putting clothes in the dryer. Or should I say, dryers. She was using about eight dryers! And they were very small loads too; she could have doubled up on some of them. It just pissed me off the lack of respect she had for other people. I went outside and made a few calls. I came back in, took my wash out and guess what? There are no dryers available. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to center myself - this is as bad as it gets at the laundry mat. Her dryers stopped, she wasn't around -- I just took her stuff out and put my stuff in. I never had to do that before, I just said to myself, F#@K it - Bobby needs dry clothes. After that I went to Best Buy. I wanted to buy a DVD. I couldn't find anything. I was looking around for an hour and a half. I almost bought 12 monkeys but I thought I was buying it just to buy something - I put it back. I did observe some things about people. People that smoke smell like ashtrays, people that buy full screen DVDs are idiots and then there was the guy that smelled like vomit - nice. I went to the A & P after that. Saturday night, I just played more Tony Hawk 2. This photo matches what I just talked about, it's really kind of pointless but I didn't have any other photos for today Sunday, I woke up early. I felt like going for a drive. An hour later, I was driving down to Red Bank. It was a lovely, crisp fall day. I was listening to the Counting Crows. I got down there and just looked around the record store. I didn't get anything there either. After that, I got some hot chocolate in Starbucks and off I went. I drove back home and played more Tony Hawk 2. I'm stuck on a level and it's driving me crazy! I even tried cheat codes and that didn't help. Curb your Enthusiasm is the best comedy on TV. The Sopranos seemed uneven, again. I was close to seeing Punch-Drunk Love but TH2 got the best of me again. And that as they say, was my weekend. That is it. Have a great day. God Bless America. 11-01-02 Oh sweet Friday and oh sweet November! I got some casino "coupons" in the mail the other day. They're really entries into a car raffle they do a few times a month. I'm considering just driving up there this weekend just to put my entries into the prize drum. Someone has to win and you know my motto: you have to be in it to win it! Plus, I'll finally get the chance to checkout all that sweet fall foliage I've been hearing so much about. That could be something. Halloween has come and gone, thank goodness. I don't like Halloween because: 1. When I was a kid, my candy bag was stolen while I was Trick or Treating. I was scared for life. 2. And a few years ago in Hoboken, some punk kids hit me in the head with an egg. OK, that's a short list but those are two very traumatic events. I still fear getting hit with an egg. Last night, I walked home with eyes in the back of my head. I was on high alert and thankfully, I made it home without incident. Yesterday marked the 2-YEAR ANNIVERSARY of BobBorden.com! I'm still very excited about BobBorden.com - it's still new to me, which is nice. After work, the staff and I had a little to-do over at the Hilton. Here's a photo: BobBorden.com 2-YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY It's odd that the majority of my staff didn't want to be identified. But it was nice that President Clinton could stop by. Thanks to everyone for your help. When all the "other" websites crashed and burned, we pulled up our boots, dug in and said - bring it on! That sprit, that energy is what drives me continue - here's to another 2 years!! That's it! Have a great weekend. God Bless America.

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