11-29-01
Welcome to the first Viewer's Choice Diary. This is the diary where you, yes you -- get to ask the questions. Let's get started --

Diane asks: Please describe your best work memory, your worst work memory, your most embarrassing work memory.

Thanks, Diane. The best was at rehearsal a few years back. I was going to be on the show that night for the remote, Dave Buys Bob a New Car, and I made a suggestion to Dave about what we'd say to each other and we ended up doing that. That was the best! The worst was just working up the ladder for years and feeling like you're never going to get ahead. Most embarrassing was the time I went out for my birthday and got so drunk. I came into work the next day and fell asleep (passed out) on the kitchen floor -- I was awakened by the laughter of two staffers.

Next up, Joe Headline asks: What is your all-time favorite movie?

Joe, I think I said this before on my diary -- My all time favorite movie is Easy Rider. I love that film! It has it all.

Bubba, asks: Do you ever watch TV shows? What are your favorites? Who was the best famous person you ever met? Do you get to talk to Dave? What is Anton zip really like??

Thanks "Bubba," Yes, I love TV! Junkyard Wars comes to mind and Curb your Enthusiasm. The coolest famous person I've met was my hero, Iggy Pop. That was a good day. Yes, I do get to talk to Dave. I don't have a lot of time to hang out with the band but Anton Fig is a very nice guy. Always has a "hello" for you at the ready. Good questions.

"Oprah" asks: What are your "turn-ons" and "turn-offs" when it comes to the opposite sex?

I'd like to meet a cool woman that is funny. Not improv funny but just has a natural way about her. I don't think I'm going to find her in this neck of the woods. My turn-offs are the exact opposite of my turn-ons.

"UndeadSinatra" asks: What are your pics for top pop culture items of the year?

Stay tuned for my end of the year "best of" list -- It will be up -- at the end of the year.

Rich asks: Is it a barrel of laughs working there, or lots of pressure? Do you have any interaction with the writers? Are they cool or a bunch of neurotic jerks who don't speak to anyone. Can you offer ideas for the show, or is that frowned upon? To what do you aspire at the late show?

Like any workplace, there is stress and pressure but it's not that bad. Someone told me once, hey, at least you're not digging a ditch. Not sure what he meant by that but it sounded good. I work for the writers so I'm with them all day, everyday, 24/7/365, OK, not that much but a lot! They're a cool group and I'd have to say that sitting around the writer's table and listening to the jokes and stories -- that have nothing to do with the show, well, that's the best part of my day. I pitch ideas when something comes to me. It's not my focus in life right now. I haven't figured out my next goal yet. I enjoy things too much here.

Kentuckychic asks: What is your greatest fear? What are the stats on your NJ apartment and how much does it cost (or you could give us a good idea if you don't want to share the exact info). I ask only because I'm contemplating a move to the NYC area. Also, how did you land your job?

My greatest fear, this is hard, I've never thought about this. I'd have to say something simple like worrying about money. I pretty much roll with the punches on everything else. Rent in Hoboken has skyrocketed in the six years I've been there. I pay in the $1000 area and sadly, that's cheap. However, if you want to live close to the city, you have to pay. I got my job at Late Show six years ago. I started off as an intern and did anything, anything they needed. A little over a year later, I got the chance to run the mailroom -- I quit the job I was working at, that day (I was running camera at an NBC station in Steubenville). And was in NJ, two weeks later.

Grindel asks: When are you going to be on the show again? Also, I'm gonna be in NYC in January - any advice?

I haven't been on in over a year but that's not such a long period of time for this show. If I come back someday, great -- if not, I had a pretty good run and the experience of a lifetime! Have fun in NYC in January.

Kellita asks: Do you get free stuff working there? Do you get a discount at the CBS store? have you ever bought anything at the CBS store? Do you have one of those cool worldwide pants jackets?

The occasional bad T-shirt. Once, Dave mentioned Miller beer on air and they sent over a huge amount of beer -- I took a case home. That was sweet living! I bought a sweater for a friend once at the CBS store -- I do get a discount but I didn't find that out until after the fact. I have a WWP jacket and I love it!

Thanks everybody, that was fun!!!!

Program note: This will be the last diary until December 10th. I have to get the snow tires put on my car and I need a lot of time. I had the usual bus ride in today, blah blah blah. See ya in a week!! God Bless America!!!!!

11-28-01
Let's knock this out -- I was perplexed in the record store last night. I was torn between a used David Bowie CD and the new DMX CD. I love a good rap album as much as the next guy but I have to say that I've been burnt more than once. The Rap section is a scary place for me sometimes. I might as well be in the classical section -- I just don't know what's good. I can't go up to a clerk and ask about the new DMX CD. "Yo, did the new DMX drop yet?" That just doesn't sound right coming out of a 32 year old white guy. So, I got the DMX and I'm happy to say, I'm happy with my purchase. I got the Rap jones from listening to Hot 97 this weekend. They were mixing old school Rap and it was so good! I love it when they do the shout-outs! I'm going to call in someday! I will say that the Rap CD's have too many skits. OK, I had a check for 100 dollars and I put it with some magazines and important papers, in my study --- OK, my bathroom. I'm cleaning this weekend and I say to myself, time to tidy up this mess. I use words like "tidy" only when I talk to myself, ha ha. Anyway, I threw everything out and damn it if the check wasn't in there! I didn't put it together until a day later, the trash was long gone by then. I felt like an idiot! Life's crazy. I was watching Three Days of the Condor last night, a Robert Redford film from the 70's. It's good but movies from the 70's are hard to watch sometimes. Dated music and dated fashion come to mind. Like, Rollerball -- it's impossible to watch. It's set in the future but the sets and the clothes are so -- SO 70's! You can't go back -- this could be the worst design period in history -- only time will tell -- think about that! Man, what a weird walk up 8th Avenue today. First you had a guy yelling at people of different races, he was telling them to go back to their country of origin. Messed up! Where's the love brother? I almost said something then I remembered my personal code: When trouble's near -- run away like a school girl. So, I walk a few more blocks and a guy was yelling at a redhead. It seems he didn't believe she was a natural redhead and he wanted her to prove it to him. It was really kind of funny, she was even laughing. OK, that's it for me. Have a good day. God Bless America!!!

11-27-01
Happy Tuesday!!!! One more day closer to the weekend! Day in and day out I talk about my life, my commute to work and the occasional funny story. And then there are times when I have nothing. Today, is one of those times. So, I said to "my" intern Rick, "How'd you like to write my diary today?" And Rick said, "Sure." So, ladies and gentleman, without further adieu, here's Rick --

I feel, being in the city, that I have an obligation to do something fun and interesting every night when I get out of work, and last night was no exception. The conflicts, however, reared their ugly, misshapen faces every time I began to assess the following items: 1) my limited, quickly depleting, budget 2) the unavoidable sensation of complete exhaustion 3) being in my apartment, surrounded by three other people, in a space the size of '73 Chrysler Newport, frequently makes me want to scream obscenities, set fire to my futon and pitch a tent on Woodside Ave. (yet, to date, I haven't) and finally... 4) the simple fact that in New York I can go do just about anything I've ever wanted. So as I stood on the corner of 53rd and Broadway I had narrowed the decision down to either going to see a movie at Film Forum, or going home and looking for jobs on the Internet. The deciding factor was the leftover pizza in the fridge. Done deal; ring it up; I'm going home. As I mentioned earlier, the basis for the evening was going to be finding a job back home in Omaha so when I make my grand return at the end of December I won't find myself wading in a pool of debt-which seems logical, right? Right! Yet, there is only so much one can do from a computer so after a while I decided to just send out resumes to possible employers, and I'll take care of the rest when the deadline gets closer. Okay, wait, let me rephrase that last part-it didn't come out right. I quit looking for jobs after about fifteen minutes because Grand Theft Auto 2 (or as the kids call it: GTA2) was calling my name, and continued calling said name for at least three hours. I made little, if any, progress, but it sure was a swell time. Conclusions: -Video Games, even dated ones, are more fun than doing important, life-effecting work. Being at home with cold pizza is barely, BARELY, more fun than being out on the town and hungry. A good night's sleep is priceless. You hear that? Priceless! So put the controller down, and get some rest every now and then. Word- Rick

---Thanks, Rick!!! The kid writes better than I do -- DAMN, I screwed myself -- AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Internet acting, thank you, thank you very much. Have a good one and God Bless America!!!!

11-26-01
My weekend started on Thursday night. I had Thanksgiving dinner at my friend Tiffany's house. I had a great time. Her whole family was there and everything, food, conversation was the best. I really enjoyed hanging with her folks. Thanks, Tiffany! I was so tired towards the end of the dinner because I was up at 5 to get a parking spot in NYC. I woke up Friday morning and just enjoyed every minute of watching TV in my underwear -- One of life's simple pleasures. Walter called me up and before I knew it, we were off for an adventure in NJ. Walter, "Sally" and myself got in my car with no plan or no destination. We ended up at a new Apple Computer store in Woodcliff Lake, NJ. Walter was on the fence about getting Apple's iPod -- a 1000 song jukebox, the size of a cassette. It was pretty cool. I was walking around and a sales guy comes up and remembered me from the show. I haven't been on in over a year. So, I want to give a shout out to Michael Davidson for helping us out. He knew a lot about Apple, but he didn't feel the need to hook us up with a discount, ha ha. Walter, after being talked into it by "Sally" and myself, bought the iPod. Now, he's having a bit of buyer's remorse. He's really not sure if he wants it. I was finally able to get him to open the thing -- a day later! From there we went to Nutley but it was really crowded. So, we drove south and ended up in Red Bank. The town was having a tree lighting ceremony but we just wanted to get some dinner. We missed the tree lighting and headed to the Peking Palace. There was only four other people in there besides us. It was fun if not a bit surreal. After that we went to the bowling alley but there was an hour wait for a lane and we took off back to NYC. A fun day/night! Saturday I woke up and watched a little TV before I cleaned my apartment. Friday wore me out because I didn't do anything after cleaning. Sunday, I woke up early and did my laundry in Nutley. I stopped off at Best Buy on my way back and picked up the film Traffic for $11.99 -- now that's a sale! And that was it. I think I'm winding down. This is the last week of taping before we go on break. I don't feel motivated to do anything because of that. OK, that's it! God Bless America!!!

11-22-01
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! I'm at work. You know how when you use soap and it gets down to the sliver? Well, I've been at the sliver stage for two days now -- I keep forgetting to buy soap! That sliver just doesn't cut it. I made up for it last night -- I bought so much soap -- it wasn't pretty. Buying soap on Thanksgiving eve, is this my life, is this what its come to? AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Internet acting, thank you, thank you very much. After I bought soap, I went home and was in bed by 10:30. Why go to bed so early? Because I had to continue my tradition of driving into work. I was up at 5am and I'm writing this at 6:20! 6:20 and I'm at work -- I may have lost my mind but I have a parking spot! I got here so early because the closer it gets to the parade, they shut down Broadway. Also, because from 6am to 10 you have to have to car pool. I'm sure that wasn't in effect today but I didn't want to risk it -- I wanted to park on the street. I like driving to work -- It makes me feel normal, like a regular Joe. I'll punch the clock tonight, get in my car and head on back to Hoboken -- no public transportation for Bobby today! Tonight, my friend Tiffany was kind enough to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner with her family. I'm thankful for that. Man, I'm tired. I almost forgot -- when I turned the corner on to 53rd Street at 6 am -- There were people sitting on the curb behind the police barricades -- at 6 am! Good Lord people, just turn on your TV!!! That's it -- Happy Thanksgiving and to all a Happy Thanksgiving? -- Did I mention that I'm writing this at 6:20? God Bless America!

11-21-01
I spent all last night listening to sweet music from my record player. I ordered up this thing, a preamplifier, to hook up my old school record player to my modern receiver. It finally came in the mail -- Radio Shack comes through again! I have my record player from Ohio here because I bought an LP because it wasn't available on CD. My odyssey is over. It was worth it. To hear a really good record from 1985 that I missed out on because I was wrapped up in the Heavy Metal scene, well, words can't describe it. One day away from Thanksgiving -- there will be a diary tomorrow as I have to work, FYI. I don't know if I have anything else? Checkout Paula's Notes today -- she has a Thanksgiving story to share with you. Buy a CD of Helicopter Helicopter, my new favorite group -- It makes the perfect gift -- you can find the link on my Link page. I bought their first CD via their site, only $10. That's a fair deal, more than fair. That is it. God Bless America!!!

11-20-01
I'm thinking about getting a flu shot today. I've never had one before. I always put it off, got the flu and just suffered. There's something to be said for suffering but enough already! I'll probably do it. Check my message board later and I'll tell you my decision. We have this intern, Rick, not really sure what his last name is. His picture is on my October 15th diary. Anyway, the kid is 11 years younger than yours truly. He's got great taste in music and has turned me on to some cool bands. Old man Borden is talking about Creedence like they just came out last week and Rick is going to see The Strokes, the most over-hyped band since Hootie and the Blowfish. So, last week I ask Rick what his plans for the evening were, hoping he wouldn't ask me back because I had a date with my sofa. He told me he was going to go see Helicopter Helicopter. I said to him, who the hell is that?! He told me they're from Boston and they're pretty good, he even asked me to go with him. I said to him, man, I'd love to but I only like good bands, ha ha. The next day, he brings in a few of their CD's and man, I had to eat my hat -- I listened to them all day long. The point of all of this is: No longer will I ignore our nation's youth! To Rick and all the other Ricks out there, I'm listening, I hear you, I finally hear you! Take it from Rick -- check out www.HelicopterHelicopter.com -- I've even added them to my Links Page. I can't believe I haven't heard of them before -- that's how good they are -- tell your friends! HBO did something interesting last night -- They played the Britney Spears and Madonna concerts almost back to back. And man, while Madonna occasionally went out of tune -- At least she was singing on her own and not lip-synching! Or singing to track, as they say in the business. Can anyone tell me why Jon Voight was involved in the Britney concert? Anyone? And can anyone tell me why I even care? That's it for today. Have a good one. God Bless America!

THIS JUST IN: Forget about my message board. I got the flu shot, I got the flu shot! It's the best thing that ever happened to me! Bye.

11-19-01
A: Friday, I saw Novocaine. I kept asking myself, "Why doesn't he just go to the police?" Saturday, I woke up around 11 and just felt tired, like I didn't get enough sleep but I did so I just felt kind of weird. I finally got up the strength to go to the A & P. I hadn't gone to a super market in well over a month. I just didn't feel like going, I guess. Anyway, I picked up some good stuff and cooked myself a good dinner. Salad, risotto, mushrooms and steak, mmmmmm. I watched The Graduate and Drugstore Cowboy. You can't go wrong with either of those films. Drugstore Cowboy just has a wonderful aloofness about it. I could have gone to see a movie with my friends but coming into the city wasn't in the cards for me. Sunday I woke up early and headed off to Nutley to do my laundry. While my clothes are in the dry cycle, I usually go get a slice but It was too early. So, I took my filthy car to the old car wash. One of those old school ones with brushes and guys that dry your car. Nothing like driving a clean car. I wish I could have driven more. It's so congested around here! I headed back to Hoboken and had some shredded wheat, with the frosting, of course. After that I went into the city to work with Walter on our short, very short film. We started it back in April! It's funny but it doesn't make any sense. On my way to Walter's, I just started looking around the concrete jungle and said to myself, there has to be something better than this. The city/NJ gets to me sometimes. And that was my weekend!

Q: How was your weekend?

11-15-01
OK, Congratulations go to Pam Narozny who was the first and only person to e-mail me with the correct location of yesterday's English diary, located somewhere in "Bob's Stuff." Pam found it in Bob's Cats section. Way to go, a Bob Borden autographed photo is on the way! What's the opposite of a prize, ha ha. Unseasonably warm in NYC today. They're saying it may go to 67 degrees. Too hot to sleep! I'm looking forward to this weekend. Nothing special planned, I'm just looking forward to relaxing and driving around. I haven't seen a movie in a long, long time -- maybe I'll do that. I went home last night, started to watch a movie and then, I just crashed, so nothing new to report. Have a great weekend. God Bless America!

Believe in me, cause I believe in you.
- Billy Corgan

11-15-01
Instructions: To read today's diary you first must translate it, unless you can read in French. Copy today's diary then go to http://www.systransoft.com/ -- Paste the diary in the proper box and enjoy!

Ce n'était pas aussi dur, droit? Bienvenue à BobBorden.com international, ha ha. Je suis heureux j'ai obtenu le jour fini de bosse. Je puis voir le week-end! Le week-end passé, j'ai aidé mon ami Tiffany avec une table. Ce week-end, je vais me rendre disponible à n'importe lequel de mes amis. Ayez besoin d'un tour à la mémoire de matériel, appelez-moi. Devez peindre une porte, entretien à moi. Je dépannerai n'importe quelle voie que je puis. C'est Bob plus aimable et plus s'inquiétant. Je pensais dans la douche ce matin comment dur elle est pour que je dise mon propre nom, Bob Borden. Dites-le dehors fort, Bob Borden. J'obtiens déclenché vers le haut aux "b" -- je pensais à aller par Robert ou à changer peut-être même mon dernier nom. Je pensais à l'acier ou au vainqueur Borden de Bob. Mais les bruits postérieurs aiment trop le vainqueur Borge. Peut-être je devrais juste avoir un nom, Bob. Que pensez-vous? Faites-moi savoir sur mon panneau de message. Je déteste quand l'entaille chez Nite montre les épisodes d'Andy Griffith en couleurs. Opie est plus grand, la prise de bec est allée et je dois dire qu'Andy semble plus pissé hors fonction. Bâton juste aux expositions noires et de blanc. Vous ne devez pas m'impressionner avec toute la couleur de fantaisie. Et asse'avec le bateau d'amour déjà! Voilà. Dieu Bénissent L'Amérique!

OK, it doesn't translate back to English so well. Tell you what I'm going to do...Somewhere in the "Bob's Stuff" section is today's diary, the English version. Click around, I'll have it hidden somewhere in that section -- where to look, where to look? Have fun!

11-14-01
You know that special diary I promised yesterday? Well, forget about it. I didn't have time to work on it, so I'll try and work something special up this weekend. I was watching one of those home decorating shows last night on the tube -- Anyway, these people need to calm down! You don't have to paint over a perfectly good dresser just because it's there! And some of the things they were doing weren't functional! Hot gluing something to a rocking chair isn't design!!!!! I finally went to the bank yesterday. I was sitting on a check for about a month. The bank is only 3 blocks away from where I work...that cold really did a number on me. It made me lazier than I already am. Did you know that AMC has commercials now? I was watching a movie last night and a freaking commercial busted in! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! HOLLYWOOD, you won this round! That's it. God Bless America!

11-13-01
I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it! Today, is the first day I wore my Pea Coat! I love it! Never has a coat fit me so well. It's warm, comfortable and very smart looking. Here, check it out for yourself. Here's some information I found on the Navy website about the Pea Coat -- reprinted here without permission, of course.

Pea Coat

Sailors who have to endure pea-soup weather often don their pea coats but the coat's name isn't derived from the weather. The heavy topcoat worn in cold, miserable weather by seafaring men was once tailored from pilot cloth ‹ a heavy, course, stout kind of twilled blue cloth with the nap on one side. The cloth was sometimes called P-cloth for the initial letter of "pilot" and the garment made from it was called a p-jacket -- later, a pea coat. The term has been used since 1723 to denote coats made from that cloth.

Pretty interesting. Other than the Pea Coat news, not a whole lot going on today. Man, it's chilly out! I've got nothing today. Here's someting, I wore white socks with black dress shoes today -- not a good look. Not sure why I did that. It bothered me so much I had to buy a pair of black socks before I came to work. I can't let anything take away from my new coat. I've been thinking about that plane that crashed in Queens. It really wiped me out at work yesterday. I just want to scream because I feel so helpless and confused. OK, that it! Tune in tomorrow for a special edition of BobBorden.com. It's going to be different, I can promise you that! God Bless all involved in yesterday's plane crash and God Bless America!

11-12-01
Friday night I watched Broadway Danny Rose. I like that movie, it's very entertaining. I took half a Nyquil dose and went to bed. Saturday morning I went to Ikea with my friend Tiffany. We were jinxed from the get go. We were going to get there early but somebody woke her up at 5 am and she couldn't get back to sleep. So, that pushed back leaving by an hour. We get on the Turnpike and stay on the Turnpike for almost an hour. They're doing construction and have a lane closed off. When traffic gets backed up around here, idiots drive in the emergency lane -- so instead of one lane merging, it becomes 2 lanes merging -- IDIOTS!!!! We finally get to Ikea around 12:30. The main goal of this mission is Tiffany needs a bigger dining room table for Thanksgiving and other social occasions. Now, I thought to myself, you get a table, you're in and out in an hour, tops. At Ikea, there's at least 5 tables to choose from. This one has the leafs, that one has the thing, this will go well with my chairs -- and so on and so on. She picked a table and after removing and installing the leafs in every possible configuration, it was time to see what chairs went with the table. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" I said to myself. I remained cool on the outside because she's a good friend and has done a lot for me over the years and to be 100% honest -- it wasn't really that bad. I kept kidding around with her, "You're so going to make it in my diary on Monday." We checked out and waited for them to bring us the table. While we were waiting I got some hot dogs and a cinnamon roll. MMMMMMMMMMMM, good eating, probably because I was starved! The table came out, hmmmmm, that box sure is big. Tiffany said, "I don't think this is going to fit in the old trunk." And she was right. Two guys from Ikea had to tie it to the roof of her car. I would have done it but I'm not good at tying knots. I stood there and watched, I felt so emasculated. I made up for it by carrying the table a half a block to her apartment. After two weeks of taking it easy because of my cold, that really wore me out. I went home and fell asleep on my sofa. I did see a nice bed I liked. Tiffany may just be helping me next weekend! I recently found out that the bed I've been sleeping on for the past 6 years is my grandfather's death bed. If that's not the story of my life that I don't know what is. Sunday I went to Nutley to do my laundry. I cleaned my apartment. Got some Chinese food for dinner and that was my weekend. I really like Ikea, I could spent hours in that place. My cold feels a lot better. That was a rough one. OK, that's all I got. God Bless America!

11-9-01
I just checked out my diary entries from this week and man, what a bunch of nothing! What can I say? They can't all be winners, ya know? I'm just a human, flesh and blood, I'm not a machine damn it! I'M NOT A MACHINE!!!!!! Internet Acting, thank you, thank you very much. The one constant thing that made this week go fast for me was listening to Creedence. I want to know, "Have You Ever Seen the Rain -- Coming Down on a Sunny Day" -- Man, that's good stuff! I'm going to play that sucker in the car this weekend. I don't think I ever told this story but once, in the late 80's, I put Welcome to the Jungle, by Guns n Roses, on my car stereo. I was so enthralled and I could relate so much to that song that when I finally looked down at my speedometer, I was driving 130 mph. True story. I doubt that will happen with Creedence but I bet wherever I end up, I have a smile on my face. And with that, ladies and gentlemen, I leave this week of sub-par diaries to come back on Monday with ALL-NEW stories of life, love and other crap. That's it! Have a good one. God Bless America!

11-8-01
Yesterday's diary was a cliffhanger. My boss, Justin, did survive the cab accident and has never felt so alive! He wanted me to tell everyone thanks for the e-mails and the flowers, he really appreciated it! I watched Junkyard Wars last night. The finals are next week! That seems a little soon. And enough with the boats and the water stuff. I want to see rubber on the road! I wrote about seeing Mike Watt in Hoboken last month. I'm hooked on his website, www.hootpage.com. He writes tour diaries from the road and they're just great! They (Watt and the Band) write about what it's like on the road, the people they meet, the places they play and even the food they eat. It's weird for me to write about someone else's diary from my own diary but it's really interesting to me. They started their last tour on September 11th. Their first gig out was canceled because of the attack. They just kept going, for two months, out on the road -- entertaining America. You know, I know I talk about my bus rides a lot. To the point where my friend Walter makes fun of me but I like telling my bus stories. If nothing else, it's a release for me to get it out of my system. Like last night, this woman sits down, pulled out her cell and carried on a loud, boring, conversation -- for the entire bus ride! You'd think she was home with her feet propped up! I was very close and I'm not kidding, to telling her to shut the f**k up! I'm glad I didn't stoop to that level but I so wanted to! OK, that's it! God Bless America!

11-7-01
Got nothing today. It's milder out today. Figures, I bundled up this morning! I got home last night, hit the sofa and drifted off to sleepy land. I was in bed by 11. I'm still on the Robitussin and it's doing its job, I'm happy to say. I was checking out the old message board the other day. I was surprised at the average age of the BobBorden.com reader. I had it in my mind that only young college girls read my site. They'd sit around the computer and say to themselves, "Oh, that Bob is so wonderful, he he he." You know, stuff like that. The truth is a bitch sometimes. My Mom didn't like "the snot" story from yesterday's diary. She told me to get a hobby. I said, this is my hobby! I just thought it was a story everyone could relate to, we've all been sick, ya know? Here's something funny, you know that movie K-PAX? Well checkout www.KPAX.com. This Creedence Greatest Hits CD is so good! I'm thinking about taping my CD player shut and making it a Creedence only CD player. My boss Justin, his cab got into an accident on the way to work today. Tune in tomorrow to find out if he lives or dies. That's it for today. Have a good one. God Bless America!

11-6-01
I want to start out today's diary by thanking someone. I was in need of some Creedence yesterday and my friend Chris Schukei (pronounced SHOOK-EYE!) hooked me up with the very best of the very best! Thanks! Last week I was on the bus and a friend, Liz got on the bus and before she could sit down, I told her I had a cold and she should sit elsewhere. She understood and sat in the seat next to me. It was awkward sitting next to someone and not talking to him or her. Even my own peculiar ways freak me out sometimes. Anyway, I bring this up because I had a similar experience last night. While the bus loaded up I thought this one girl looked familiar. Our eyes never met and I was 60% sure I knew her but that's not enough for me to tap a "stranger" on the shoulder and say what's up. I was thinking about this the whole bus ride because she was standing right in front of me. It was driving me nuts! Was this her? Turns out, it was because she got off where I thought she would. Damn, I feel bad for not saying anything. Her name is Deirdre and if you're a loyal reader to BobBorden.com, you'll remember that name because I threw up in her house the first time we met. With those "bad" things behind me I feel like I balanced the scale because earlier I gave a woman change for a dollar. If I didn't have a dollar in quarters I was prepared to just give her the fifty cents. What the heck, ya know? I loves me some Creedence!!!!! I broke out my leather jacket this morning. I went for style over substance. Big mistake because I was freezing my ya-ya's off! I slept better last night. I'm still coughing but I got through the night. Robitussin may have knocked some things loose. Speaking of knocking things loose -- I have a good/disgusting story. Yesterday, I sneezed. I know, great story, ha ha! Later in the day I looked at my computer monitor and saw this big green snot, just hanging there. It was so gross! I can look back on it now and laugh -- so nasty. OK, that's is it! Tell a friend about BobBorden.com today! God Bless America!

11-5-01
Friday night I can't remember what I did. Saturday, I woke up after a restless night of not being able to sleep. I watched TV, piddled around and then I go to Nutley and do my laundry. It was 5 when I put in my loads -- dark already! I messed up my whole day. Saturday night I watched Waiting for Guffman and then off to bed. Sunday, damn, another restless night! I got up early for some reason and decided to go to Red Bank -- I need to get some sun on skin. I put in three calls to three different friends, no one could go -- Looks like Bobby's flying solo -- fine by me. There's this good record store down there, Jack's Music. I think I talked about this before, they have punk and heavy metal sections. It's not all lumped together. I stayed there for a long time, mostly because they were playing Creedence on the stereo. I loves me some Creedence! Sunday night I cleaned the apartment. The Emmy Awards was on last night -- finally! I didn't watch -- If I never see another awards show again, I'll be fine. However, Late Show picked up an Emmy for Best Comedy/Variety Show -- pretty cool. I had trouble sleeping again last night! This cough comes out of nowhere and really messes up my slumber. I took a sip of water to ease my discomfort. I put the bottle by my side as I rest between attacks. The next thing you know, I wake up in a wet bed -- water everywhere! I took my blanket, slept on my living room floor and coughed my guts out all night. Now, I'm fine. I need to pick up some of that cough expectorant stuff. I think that's the right word -- the stuff that loosens up your chest. OK, that's it. Have a good day. God Bless America!

11-2-01
I feel a little better today. I still have the phlegm in the throat thing when I wake up. Too much information? Let me tell you something about why I love November. Hey, that sounds like a poem

"Why I Love November"
By Bob Borden

I love November
Red leaves fallen
Ducks calling
Earliest sunset

Sweetest echo of Summer
Down blanket slumber
Ladies come asunder
Hot chocolate, a modern wonder

I love November for
Quiet nights
Friendly fights
Weekend plights

November Rain
On my radio again
Doesn't sound the same
November, I love November

Huh, that sucks but at the same time, I kind of like it. I'm going to crazy sleep-in tomorrow. I can't wait. I didn't do much last night. Just fell asleep on the sofa again. Can't even remember what I watched. Freaking old man Borden! I'm only 32! I do have a cold. I've had a check to deposit for the past 3 weeks and I'm too lazy to walk up 3 blocks! Well, maybe being busy at work has had more to do with that. Don't mind me, I'm just talking to myself. OK, that's it! God Bless America!

Believe in me -- cause I believe in you.
-- Billy Corgan

11-1-01
A year and a day.

Hello. I'm so tired from yesterday's One-Year Anniversary; I'm not sure what to talk about today. Plus, I still have this cold to contend with. Traffic was so heavy on the way in yesterday and today; I was on the bus for over an hour -- both days! Much of that time was spent standing still. However, I have to say that the bus was so comfortable I really didn't mind. The driver had the temperature just right, almost like a cocoon. An hour and a half of my evening was devoted to getting my record player to play with out the proper receiver inputs. I failed. Sometimes things are just harder than they need to be - you can quote me on that. My Mom in Ohio hardly got any trick-or-treaters last night. I have to say -- she sounded like she was in shock. I'm guessing that there's a tendency to keep the kids away from strangers and their candy in these uncertain times. I just tried to get back to my apartment without getting egged, which, I'm happy to report, I did. The kids love to throw eggs around here, I just don't get it. I hate Halloween. I saw a woman on the bus last night in red horns and a pitchfork. I wanted to say to her, "Hey sweets, pretty lame costume!" but that was something that just stayed in my mind - thank goodness. I can't believe I'm going to write this but here it goes - Speaking of stuff that I only say in my mind, whenever a lovely woman enters my line of sight -- I shouldn't write this. Oh screw it. Sometimes, okay, everytime a lovely woman enters my line of sight, I say something to myself like, "Ooh la la" or "Ooh -- mama sita." Is that wrong? I live alone with two cats!! I can make comments in my mind, right? Like you're any better? OK, I think that's enough sharing for today. I'm going to go blow my nose. God Bless America!