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5-23-02 Hello. I'm going to start things off today with a program note: BobBorden.com is on haitus until June 3rd. I need to take some time and get my head straight. I added some more to my novel last night. So, I'm going to leave you with that to ponder. Enjoy. "The Wallet" You wouldn't know it to look at me but I'm a nonconformist. OK, I voted Republican in the last three elections, I don't carry credit card debt and I'm always early for work. I consider myself a rebel for one reason; I carry my wallet in my back pocket. I know, It's been preached to me for years, "Keep your wallet in your front pocket, pick pockets are everywhere." Especially in this city! It seems like such a small detail but It makes me different. I walk a little taller knowing that I'm going against the grain on this one. I was sitting on the Subway, making the always horrible commute home. The dregs of humanity they let through the gates is amazing. Just the smell alone is enough to curl your toes. I was on the local so we were making all the stops, lucky me. The Subway stopped at the 42nd street station and a woman got on. She looked to be about 44, she's seen better days. She was clearly drunk as she stumbled over and of course, sat next to me. The air was thick with Vodka and Orange Juice as she mumbled this, "Paul Theroux is my favorite author." "What?", I said. Her tone became louder and more irritated. "I SAID, PAUL THEROUX is my favorite author! I can spot a book worm a mile away and you'd like his work." Everybody's looking at her. I have one rule when dealing with unstable people in enclosed spaces, agree with everything. We were approaching the 14th Street station, my stop. In the middle of agreeing with her ramblings I had to cut her short and say, "OK, this is my stop, good luck." As I quickly got up, she shoved this Paul Theroux book in my hands and in a calm, almost sober voice simply said, "Take this." I walked out the door, the doors closed. I touched my back pocket (a nervous habit of mine) and my wallet was gone. The train started moving and I ran to the window and saw my wallet on the seat. It wasn't pick pockets, in my attempts to squirm away from this woman, It must have fallen out. The train wouldn't stop. "F**K!!!!!!!!!!!!" I ran to the token booth to tell my dilemma to the token booth person. I'm thinking maybe they can call ahead to the next stop and help me out. Living in the city for the past 15 years I instantly recognized the glazed over eyes with that all too familiar expression, "what do you want me to do about it?" Silly me, I forgot that people don't care anymore. I ran above ground, hailed a cab, quickly explained what I'm trying to do and told him to take me to the Spring Street station, two subway stops ahead. This was my kind of cab ride. He was dodging cars and pedestrians like a professional race car driver. The wheels screeched to a halt, I leaped out, ran down the stairs, jumped over the turn stall just in time to see the lights of the E train -- leaving the station, Damn! I had everything in that wallet. I gave my last five bucks to the cabbie, it looks like I'm walking back to 14th Street. After calling my bank and the credit card companies I took a shower to tried to wash the day away. Halfway through the shower I remembered what the woman on the subway said to me, "PAUL THEROUX is my favorite author!" And that just clicked in my head! The book! I poured myself a drink and brought the book over to my chair. Hotel Honolulu, by Paul Theroux. I do a quick skim of the book and it was underlined and circled throughout. The circled words were checked, almost like she was looking them up. The underlined sentences looked to have no significance at all. I turned the pages until I got to the end. I pulled back the book jacket and there, in the bottom right hand corner, written in pencil: Dawn Manning, 718-555-2649. Is this the girl from the subway? It's a Brooklyn number and the E does end up in Brooklyn. Still, I don't need the wallet anymore, I canceled all my cards. And who's to say that she even has it? Do I really want to make contact with this woman? Friday night, no girlfriend, zero messages on my machine. I picked up the phone and started dialing. 1-718-555-264, I hung up the phone before I could dial the last number. What am I doing?! This isn't me, I'm a 32 year-old assistant with aspirations of reaching the upper echelon of middle management, I'm not Jim Rockford. "I got a lead on that Johnson case!" That doesn't even sound right coming from me! I'm going to flip a coin. Heads, I call the number, tails, I watch Magnum P.I. and go to bed. OK, here it goes -- The woman I talked to was named Dawn but she sure didn't sound like the woman on the subway. We talked for about a half hour. Oh my, what a sexy voice! She had that low, smoky voice thing going on. I'm not sure if I was working her or if she was working me. We agreed to meet at a diner in Brooklyn. The last thing she said to me was, "Don't forget to bring the book." She was waiting for me when I got there. This definitely wasn't the girl I ran into on the subway. Dawn was a vision. She seemed a little anxious but overall, I'd say I did pretty good. I'm going to ask her out. How about that, I lose my wallet, return a book and meet a lovely woman. This kind of stuff never happens to me. I walked her home. I gave her the book, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and handed me a piece of paper. She looked right into my eyes and said in a very stern voice, "Call me." Holy crap, this is so cool! I was halfway down the block when I looked at her phone number and I heard, "Pop, pop." It sounded like a car backfiring. I didn't think much of it. I turned the note over and it read, "HELP US!"  About the Author. BOB BORDEN grew up in Steubenville, Ohio. This is his first novel. He currently lives in Hoboken, New Jersey with two cats. -- I hate to leave you sitting on the edge of your seat but what can you do? I'm really going to think about this story next week. I'm writing it now with no direction. I think I need to format it a little better in my mind. OK, that's it. Have a great week! Tune back June 3rd for the all new adventures of BobBorden.com -- Tell Your Friends! God Bless America! 5-22-02 I had a great night last night! You're probably thinking, "sure, the season finale of 24 and Buffy were on last night. How could you not have a great night?" Well, I didn't watch those shows, I'm excited for an entirely different reason. That's right, Vanilla Coke has hit the streets. I remember back in 1986 when they made the announcement about Cherry Coke. Those were heady days my friends. With this new product release I feel like I can relive my youth. I picked up a bottle and ran home like a school girl with an "A" on her report card. I put on some 5150 and tried Vanilla Coke for the first time.  Bob tries Vanilla Coke Eh, it's just OK. It has a mild after taste of vanilla but it's not really worth going out of your way for. Saying I'm disappointed would be an understatement. Damn. VANILLA COKE, AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Internet Acting, thank you, thank you very much. I talked about video game machines yesterday. It turns out that my friend Walter picked up a PS2 the night before. How's that for a coincidence? I know the majority of the message board folk like the x-box but I'm still not sold. I played an x-box and the controller was so huge, it was uncomfortable. Plus PS2 has sold so many more units and has great, great software. Ah, I'll probably just play Walter's until they come out with more machines. As you all know, BobBorden.com is on the World Wide Web. That responsibility doesn't come cheap. I have to rely on interns to keep this running like clockwork. Well, it's that time of the year when I have to say good-bye. They're getting jobs or finishing school or something. I have to be honest, I didn't really know them that well. Sonia got me coffee once and it was cold. And Kellie, I don't know, I thought we only had one intern? Hmmmmm, anyway, good luck kids.  Good Luck Kellie & Sonia I was thinking about getting a haircut again last night. I walked by the shop twice. It just didn't feel right. OK, that's it! Have a great day. God Bless America. 5-21-02 I'm going to talk about a subject today that's going to stir up a lot of controversy. That's right, I'm talking about the battle of the video game machines. First Sony slashed prices of the PS2 to $199, the x-box followed and bringing up the rear is the Game Cube which dropped to $149. I had no desire to buy one of these machines before but now that the price has dropped, I'm very tempted. I still have the PS1 and it's still in fine working order. I keep it in a box but I know it's there if I ever feel the urge to waste yet even more of my time.  Bob's old Playstation Growing up, my brother and I had every system that came down the pike. Atari, Nintendo, Turbo Grafix-16 -- You name it, we had it. My brother was good at all those games. I remember he always got to enter in his name because he always had a high score. I usually out spent him 4 to 1 because I didn't have the touch. Oh the arcade. To this day, I still love Pac-Man. If I had to buy a new system today, I'd probably get a PS2. They just have more games. However, I haven't made up my mind and I could easily be swayed -- Are you listening x-box and Game Cube? Thank you ladies and gentlemen, and that was my cheap ploy of the week to get free merchandise. Did it work? I'll keep you updated. I'm working my way through Wilco's catalog right now. I like getting on a kick like that where you just want to listen to everything by an artist. There's nothing better than getting on a Bruce Springsteen kick. His old stuff is solid gold. And now it's time for something new, I call it: Bob's pointless story of the day. Here it goes: I got off the bus last night and was thinking about getting a haircut. I was close to the hair salon and then I said to myself, ah, forget it. And that was Bob's pointless story of the day. I think that's it. Have a great day. God Bless America. Shattered dreams, worthless years, Here am I encased inside a hollow shell, Life began, then was done, Now I stare into a cold and empty well. The many sounds that meet our ears, the sights our eyes behold, Will open up our merging hearts, And feed our empty souls. --Stevie Wonder 5-20-02 Hello. I had a relaxing weekend. I wrote on Friday that because of the late time and because of mixed reviews, I wasn't looking forward to seeing Star Wars. I went out for lunch on Friday and ran into my friend, Tim Mann. We got to talking about Star Wars and he really wanted to go but didn't have a ticket. CUT TO: Tim at Star Wars and me sitting at home, ha ha.  Photo of Tim Mann that has nothing to do with the subject matter. I'm glad I didn't go, I wasn't in the Star Wars mood. I will see it but I can wait a week. I watched Ocean's 11. I guess I was in an Ocean's 11 mood. Now there's a movie with no plot. It's just a big heist flick. Saturday, I went into the city and hung out for a while. I bought Stevie Wonder's Talking Book CD. It's so good! I've never heard it all before. I took it with me to the laundry mat. I usually go to Nutley to do my laundry but because of the gray skies I wasn't in the mood. There's a nice laundry mat a few blocks away from me. They have video games, a big screen TV playing movies and a computer. $1.50 for 15 minutes of Internet time. When my time was up, I left it on BobBorden.com, ha ha. Nothing like a little shameless self promotion. I had a burrito for dinner and watched Trading Spaces on the tube all night. Sunday, I woke up and went to the A & P. I bought some cat stuff and a steak for dinner. I listened to Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot on and off all day. It's a good CD. You can't go wrong with any of their stuff. I stayed in the rest of the day and cleaned my apartment, talked on the phone. I looked out my window around sundown and saw this sweet looking bike.  I can dream, can't I? Look at that thing. It just makes you want to hop on and go for a ride. I couldn't tell what kind of bike it was from my vantage point but it has metal fenders. It looks like a good solid bike. Good for that person. I watched the season finale of The Simpsons and flipped around all night. I never got into Survivor this season and figured it was too late to start now. However, I did tune in to see who won. It held all the excitement of watching paint dry. I didn't watch a lot of TV this season. Everything just seemed like it wasn't for me. I liked the Ozzy show but they need to go into hiding now, they're so overexposed. And I missed the boat on 24. I'd like to buy that on DVD and watch all 24 in a row. Just for the heck of it, I know, I'm crazy! OK, that's all I can handle for a Monday. Have a great day. God Bless America. 5-17-02 Hello sweet Friday. Man did I get to work late today -- 11:45, oops! I fell asleep on my sofa and woke up at 4am. I went back to bed, had some crazy dream about writing a sketch for SNL and the next thing I knew, it was 10:15. It happens to the best of us. I have a ticket to Star Wars tonight. I so don't want to go. I like Star Wars but I get confused with all the "new" characters. "Wait, that's Darth Vader?" Plus, it's not until 10:30, that's a lot of down time between when I get out of work and the movie. I don't know. There was some controversy with my "Bull" story from yesterday. My brother and my Mom, remember the story like this: Bob was called Bullwinkle during summer band camp. We were in the marching band and the ability to dance during drum breaks were required. Bob had somewhat of a rhythm problem and couldn't get the hang of some dances as fast as the others. So in frustration, the band director called, "Come on! You dance like a damn Bullwinkle!" That is true, that did happen. However, I was called Bullwinkle first, during a practice with all the horns in the barn. I was there, I remember it like it was yesterday. I've been telling the same story for years. I just want to get the record straight. OK, I started this last week and people seemed to enjoy it. So, I'm going to keep writing my novel, The Wallet, every Friday until it's finished. I hope you enjoy this week's addition. "The Wallet" You wouldn't know it to look at me but I'm a nonconformist. OK, I voted Republican in the last three elections, I don't carry credit card debt and I'm always early for work. I consider myself a rebel for one reason; I carry my wallet in my back pocket. I know, It's been preached to me for years, "Keep your wallet in your front pocket, pick pockets are everywhere." Especially in this city! It seems like such a small detail but It makes me different. I walk a little taller knowing that I'm going against the grain on this one. I was sitting on the Subway, making the always horrible commute home. The dregs of humanity they let through the gates is amazing. Just the smell alone is enough to curl your toes. I was on the local so we were making all the stops, lucky me. The Subway stopped at the 42nd street station and a woman got on. She looked to be about 44, she's seen better days. She was clearly drunk as she stumbled over and of course, sat next to me. The air was thick with Vodka and Orange Juice as she mumbled this, "Paul Theroux is my favorite author." "What?", I said. Her tone became louder and more irritated. "I SAID, PAUL THEROUX is my favorite author! I can spot a book worm a mile away and you'd like his work." Everybody's looking at her. I have one rule when dealing with unstable people in enclosed spaces, agree with everything. We were approaching the 14th Street station, my stop. In the middle of agreeing with her ramblings I had to cut her short and say, "OK, this is my stop, good luck." As I quickly got up, she shoved this Paul Theroux book in my hands and in a calm, almost sober voice simply said, "Take this." I walked out the door, the doors closed. I touched my back pocket (a nervous habit of mine) and my wallet was gone. The train started moving and I ran to the window and saw my wallet on the seat. It wasn't pick pockets, in my attempts to squirm away from this woman, It must have fallen out. The train wouldn't stop. "F**K!!!!!!!!!!!!" I ran to the token booth to tell my dilemma to the token booth person. I'm thinking maybe they can call ahead to the next stop and help me out. Living in the city for the past 15 years I instantly recognized the glazed over eyes with that all too familiar expression, "what do you want me to do about it?" Silly me, I forgot that people don't care anymore. I ran above ground, hailed a cab, quickly explained what I'm trying to do and told him to take me to the Spring Street station, two subway stops ahead. This was my kind of cab ride. He was dodging cars and pedestrians like a professional race car driver. The wheels screeched to a halt, I leaped out, ran down the stairs, jumped over the turn stall just in time to see the lights of the E train -- leaving the station, Damn! I had everything in that wallet. I gave my last five bucks to the cabbie, it looks like I'm walking back to 14th Street. After calling my bank and the credit card companies I took a shower to tried to wash the day away. Halfway through the shower I remembered what the woman on the subway said to me, "PAUL THEROUX is my favorite author!" And that just clicked in my head! The book! I poured myself a drink and brought the book over to my chair. Hotel Honolulu, by Paul Theroux. I do a quick skim of the book and it was underlined and circled throughout. The circled words were checked, almost like she was looking them up. The underlined sentences looked to have no significance at all. I turned the pages until I got to the end. I pulled back the book jacket and there, in the bottom right hand corner, written in pencil: Dawn Manning, 718-555-2649. Is this the girl from the subway? It's a Brooklyn number and the E does end up in Brooklyn. Still, I don't need the wallet anymore, I canceled all my cards. And who's to say that she even has it? Do I really want to make contact with this woman? Friday night, no girlfriend, zero messages on my machine. I picked up the phone and started dialing. Hmmmmm, I wonder what will happen next?! That's it! Have a great weekend. God Bless America.  About the Author. BOB BORDEN grew up in Steubenville, Ohio. This is his first novel. He currently lives in Hoboken, New Jersey with two cats. 5-16-02 Hello. What a great day yesterday. Just picture perfect and no humidity -- at least for the time I was outside. It's going to be a good one again today. They say it could go up to 77 degrees. Whew, too hot to sleep! I stopped off at the old record store last night to see what's shaking. I didn't know Weezer had a new CD out. That was a pleasant surprise. I like it. Very catchy tunes. The record store guys were playing something by a group called Air. It was some crazy stuff. I didn't see any friends on the bus last night. It was a quiet ride home. I just went home after the record store and fed the cats.  Billy and Evelyn eating dinner I love the cats. I was renewing my auto registration the other day and they had a huge selection of special plates. One was called "friend to animals" and it had a photo of a dog and cat. It cost $50 and $10 a year after that. That's a lot of cat food! I opted for the "free" plate. If I want a photo of a cat on my car, I'll paste one to my window. I did have a personalized license plate in high school.  Bob's personalized plate from high school I told this story in my diary before. I was rehearsing with a group in band camp. I was sitting there looking around while the band director, Mr. Nocera, was telling us how to play a section of the music. He saw that I wasn't paying attention and he called me on it. He said something like, "OK, tell everybody what I just said if you were listening." And I repeated everything he said. Frustrated, he said, "You're just a big Bullwinkle!" Everybody laughed and I was known as "Bull" from that day forward. My Dad, God rest his soul, called me Bull until the very end. I was talking to a friend yesterday from those days, Marc and he called me Bull. I don't know how I got started on this topic. Ah memories. I don't know, is that enough for a Thursday? Yeah, I'd say that's enough. That's it! Enjoy your day. God Bless America. 5-15-02 Hello Wednesday! I have almost nothing to talk about because I spent half of last night photographing vegetables! What I do for my art! Man, am I sick and tired of getting the porno e-mails! "Sorry to hear about your car!" I open up that e-mail and it's really an advertisement for farm animals and people that have an urge to use the bathroom on each other. YUK, who is the audience for this? Apparently, me. I'm 32 years old, I don't need an e-mail sent to me every 10 minutes telling me where to get porn! I already know. I mean, I've heard of other people buying it. "Good cover!" I shouldn't tell this story because I like to keep a "G" rated website but what the heck. A few years back, my friend "Chad" and I came back to Hoboken from a night out in the city. I was feeling lonely because I didn't have a girlfriend and I may have had one too many. I remember making this statement when I got off the bus: I'm going to buy a porno magazine, I don't even care anymore. A poet I'm not. We walked into the 24 hour cigar/magazine store and I started looking. My friend "Chad" buys a soda and checks out first. I'm right behind him with my purchase. A woman walks in as "Chad" walks out. The cashier has the magazine, face up and he can't find the price. The woman, of course, is just in to buy cigarettes. I look out the door and "Chad" is laughing his butt off. The cashier is still fumbling, the woman can clearly see my one and only purchase. I was so embarrassed! I did the only thing I could do, I hung my head in shame. I know that story doesn't put me in the best light but you know, it's all about the human experience. I don't know what that means but it sounded good, ha ha. In a totally unrelated subject -- This must be my week for riding on the bus with people I know. I've been writing about her for years but not until now have you seen her photo. Ladies and gentlemen, my good friend Tiffany.  Bob's friend Tiffany She's good people and has always been there for me. A good friend is hard to find -- remember that kids. Last week, I featured a photo of my boss, Justin, with singing icon, Tony Orlando. Today, I'm proud to show you a photo of Tony Orlando, with both my bosses, Eric and Justin.  Eric, Tony and Justin That's a great photo. The Ed Sullivan Theater sure is picturesque. Last night, I finished watching my favorite film, Easy Rider. It's still sooooo good! I need a motorcycle. I'm more of a car guy right now. I'll save the motorcycle for later in life. I've always wanted to drive across the country. I would really enjoy that. I'd like to fly out to California, buy a cheap VW Beetle and drive back. Hmmmm, I wonder if that's feasible? I wonder if VW Beetles are cheap? Well, today's diary has left me with more questions than answers. While I ponder, enjoy your day. Tell your friends about BobBorden.com. And don't forget, buy a BobBorden.com T-shirt, take a photo, e-mail it to me and I'll feature you in my diary. God Bless America. 5-14-02 I've about had it with the rain. Sunday and yesterday nothing but gray skies and wet streets. Oh the streets. I need some sun to cheer me up! I wonder if New York's still having a drought? I guess I could find that information in the paper. I had a good day at work yesterday. Just take it as it comes, that's all you can do. I had a crazy dream last night that I was hanging out with a member of the rap group Outkast. I remember I was trying to give Dre my business card.  Sometimes my dreams are strange I'm not sure why I was trying to give him my card but I'm not a dream analyst either. Sleep is good. Not a whole heck of a lot going on. If you missed yesterday's diary, please go back and check it out. I enjoyed it. I rode the bus last night with my friend Cara. It's always nice to see a friendly face on the bus. Talking to someone that you know is a kind of protection from all the other cretins that wear too much perfume or feel the need to share their life by talking on the cell. Why do men wear ungodly amounts of cologne? Sweet Lord, don't they know how bad they smell? It's like riding the bus with a French whore. I had to get that out, excuse me. I got home, fed the cats, talked on the phone and turned on the tube. Nothing on. I put in my favorite film, Easy Rider. Oh sweet butter, is that a good movie! If I've seen it once, I've seen it 100 times. Looks like it's going to be a beautiful day today, thank goodness. And the price for a regular gallon of gas is between $1.33 and $1.39 -- Just thought I'd throw that in. Short and sweet, that's it. Have a great day. God Bless America. 5-13-02 Hello. I hope everybody had a great weekend. I started my weekend off on Friday night. I took the PATH train back to Hoboken with "Sally" and Walter.  Bob on PATH train / Walter and "Sally" having fun Walter wanted to check out a used car and I went along for the ride. I liked it but the reality of owning a car and living in Manhattan hit them later in the weekend. I don't think he's going to go through with it. We did enjoy a lovely dinner afterwards. Saturday, I woke up early and was going to head into the city but my plans got changed. So, I drove to Nutley to do my laundry. There's something about doing the laundry that I enjoy and there's something about doing it that I despise, I can't put my finger on either. Saturday night, my friend Alex and I went to see Mike Watt play at Maxwell's in Hoboken. We got there a little after 9 and had some dinner. She had a caesar salad with chicken and I had a burrito with chicken. Good eating! I saw Mike Watt play late last year and it was just great. I was hoping that my cold would dissipate enough to allow me to go and enjoy myself. Thankfully, it did. He took the stage with a bag of merchandise, tuned his bass and off they went.  Mike Watt, bass/vocals, Pete Mazich, organ/vocals and Jerry Trebotic on drums. Three equally talented musicians feeding off of each other. He played stuff from his new CD that's coming out this fall, other selections from his past solo work and I believe some Minutemen and firehose stuff. Maxwell's is a small place, its pretty much a small room. Alex and I were on the side of the room standing on some small steps. We had an unobstructed view. Perfect, perfect, perfect evening! Special thanks to Alex for going with me and for suggesting that we wear ear plugs. She's good people. I don't have a photo of Alex because I didn't think to ask until 1:30 -- A little late to be snapping photos, ha ha. Here's some more photos of the gig:  I have his site on my "links" page. If you haven't read his tour diaries yet, you're missing something special. www.hootpage.com. This just in: I sent Mike Watt the photos and told him what a great time I had -- he wrote back! Check it out: "bob, thanks so much! very nice words too. on bass, watt" Cool! Good luck to those guys as they crisscross America. Sunday, I woke up tired, dodged some raindrops on my way to the A & P, cleaned my apartment and just plain relaxed. In other words, I had a great weekend! That's it. Have a great day. God Bless America. 5-10-02 FRIDAY! I don't feel so bad today. Funny how Friday can do that to a person. I feel like I should apologize for this week. The cold has sent my social life into a tailspin. So, have no fear, I'll be back fresh on Monday with new tails and exploits. However, I'm not going to end it there for today. I thought I take some time and start working on my first novel. I'm going to give it a working title of: "The Wallet" You wouldn't know it to look at me but I'm a nonconformist. OK, I voted Republican in the last three elections, I don't carry credit card debt and I'm always early for work. I consider myself a rebel for one reason; I carry my wallet in my back pocket. I know, It's been preached to me for years, "Keep your wallet in your front pocket, pick pockets are everywhere." Especially in this city! It seems like such a small detail but It makes me different. I walk a little taller knowing that I'm going against the grain on this one. I was sitting on the Subway, making the always horrible commute home. The dregs of humanity they let through the gates is amazing. Just the smell alone is enough to curl your toes. I was on the local so we were making all the stops, lucky me. The Subway stopped at the 42nd street station and a woman got on. She looked to be about 44, she's seen better days. She was clearly drunk as she stumbled over and of course, sat next to me. The air was thick with Vodka and Orange Juice as she mumbled this, "Paul Theroux is my favorite author." "What?", I said. Her tone became louder and more irritated. "I SAID, PAUL THEROUX is my favorite author! I can spot a book worm a mile away and you'd like his work." Everybody's looking at her. I have one rule when dealing with unstable people in enclosed spaces, agree with everything. We were approaching the 14th Street station, my stop. In the middle of agreeing with her ramblings I had to cut her short and say, "OK, this is my stop, good luck." As I quickly got up, she shoved this Paul Theroux book in my hands and in a calm, almost sober voice simply said, "Take this." I walked out the door, the doors closed. I touched my back pocket (a nervous habit of mine) and my wallet was gone. The train started moving and I ran to the window and saw my wallet on the seat. It wasn't pick pockets, in my attempts to squirm away from this woman, It must have fallen out. The train wouldn't stop. "F**K!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hey, I like some of that. How's he going to get his wallet back? Who was that woman? Is there any significance to the book? Hmmmmmmm. OK, that's it. Have a great weekend. God Bless America.  About the Author. BOB BORDEN grew up in Steubenville, Ohio. This is his first novel. He currently lives in Hoboken, New Jersey with two cats. 5-9-02 Day 3, the cold continues. Crazy busy day at work yesterday and I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Drink this, take this pill, take that pill. It's too much for me to handle! They shouldn't call a cold a cold. It should have a much more sinister name, like; Snot machine or Phlegm Parade. OK, bad examples, those sound like cute names. "Hey Jimmy, you want to see what's going on down at the Phlegm Parade?" I'm losing my mind! That's the worst stand-up ever. This cold is pushing me to the edge. I remember what it was like when I was well. I could smell the flowers, hear the birds better and sit down without sweating. I looked through my files and found this comparison between sick Bob and well Bob:  Sick Bob & Well Bob It's like night and day! I hope you understand that I have nothing exciting going on right now because of this. I can't even go out! Oh my goodness, I almost forgot. Traffic, oh the traffic. It took me 45 minutes to get from Hoboken to NYC yesterday. When you don't feel well, the bus is the last place you want to be! After 9/11 they only allowed cars with two or more passengers through during rush hour. They just lifted that ban a week ago and it's all crazy again. I have to sit on a bus for 45 minutes so Mr. Richie Rich can drive his Jaguar to work to impress his secretary?! Keep in mind that the sickness has made me quite insane. Remember the Sick Bob, Well Bob photo? I'm just not right. OK, that's it! Have a great day. God Bless America. I need a tissue. 5-8-02 Wednesday, hump day, the middle of the week, got to get over the hump, working for the weekend, one more day until TGIF -- I got nothing. This is day two of my cold. I don't feel so good today. Without going into all the gross details, I'm just not myself. I'm taking vitamin C and drinking everything I can get my hands on. A lot of people seem to have some kind of cold right now, just check out my message board. What can you do? Man it was humid yesterday, whew! This is some kind of crazy spring. I'm sitting at my desk last night and I get an e-mail, it reads: Dear Bob, Well, Chad, you're right, I don't usually do this but I love helping kids. Here's your photo of Reggie Miller:  Reggie Miller To Chad's Mom, Happy Mother's Day, you raised a fine son. And to Chad, stay in school and stay away from the junk. Good luck to you. I'm really cutting it short today. My head feels like it weighs 100 pounds. I'll make up for the short diary tomorrow. Have a great day. God Bless America. 5-7-02 Man, I have a cold. Yesterday, I started to feel a tickle in my throat. By last night, I had a stuffed up nose. I'm taking vitamin C and I'm not sure what else I should I do? I'm sleeping, eating, not eating, drinking tea, not drinking tea -- who the hell knows?! So, I don't know what to talk about, this cold is weighing heavy on my mind. I watched that movie Say Anything the other day. I've never seen it before. It was good. Reminded me of my youth -- except I wasn't a kickboxer and I didn't have a girlfriend. When I graduated high school, 1988, I remember driving home from the ceremony with Van Halen's 0U812 on the cassette deck. It just came out as I recall. I don't know why I'm talking about this. I'm telling a story with no point! The cold has made me delirious. Speaking of delirious, yesterday, I was taking a shower and listening to Prince's When Doves Cry. I was halfway through the shower/song when I realized I was using Dove soap, which I only purchased the day before.  When Doves Cry/Dove Soap -- Don't you get the connection? Am I losing my mind? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Internet Acting, thank you, thank you very much. I got home last night and my nephew Luke left a message on my machine.  My nephew Lucas His message was telling me about seeing Spider-man and how I can call him if I forgot any of the movie. I LOVE THE KIDS!!!!!!!!! That put me in a good mood for the rest of the night. I'm telling you, it's the little things. I know what spurred this cold on. I told you yesterday that I got dirty from another bus ride. I just looked down and was covered in dirt. I just said to myself, f**k it. You win New Jersey Transit!!! And at that moment, I probably let all the cold germs surge through my body. Oh, like you know how colds start! I'm cutting it short today. I have a cold, cut me some slack. Have a great day. God Bless America. 5-6-02 I saw Spider-Man Friday night. It was very, very good. Funny and at times, touching. I left the theater excited after viewing the film with a very energetic audience but once I got home I asked myself, did I really love it? The answer was no. I just needed more. However, I'm not sure what "more" is. More character development of Peter Parker, a better story -- something better than a mad scientist gone haywire. I'm not sure? It was just missing something for me. I did have fun with my friends. We had dinner first. On Friday I noticed that my friend Lee was wearing one of my new baseball shirts.  Lee Ellenberg wearing the BobBorden.com baseball shirt Thanks Lee! We did take some photos where Lee was smiling but I forgot to use the red eye thing. And I didn't want to touch up his eyes in Photoshop. The eyes are the gateway to the soul. By the way, ladies -- Lee is single. Anyway, again, I'm not making any money from these shirts. I'm just hoping that people will get my name out there. I believe they call that advertising. I'll tell ya what, you send me a photo of yourself in a BobBorden.com T-shirt and I'll put that photo on my site -- Just like Lee! Be the envy of your friends, look cool in any situation and enjoy the fine garments that can only be bought in the BobBorden.com store! Saturday I woke up and tried to get motivated to do something. I ended up driving to Nutley to do my laundry. However, this time I missed my turn off. It took me about 30 minutes to get there, it usually only takes ten, tops. Oh well, it was an adventure. Even more so because when I left Hoboken my tank was on "E." I'm crazy! Did you get the chance to pick up the new Neil Young CD, Are You Passionate? Man, it's so gooooooooooooood! It makes me feel, well, passionate. I love his stuff. Like a Hurricane still brings a tear to my eye. Saturday night I watched the spy thriller Spy Game. I enjoyed it. And now, I'm thinking about becoming a spy. They must have a class for that somewhere, right? Sunday, I woke up late, mmmmmmmm sleep. I hung out with my friends Sandi and Alex all day. We had brunch, talked about current events and just lived. They're good people. I carried my camera around all day yesterday but I didn't take anything, I wasn't inspired. After we parted ways I walked to the Hoboken Art and Music Fair. Just picture a street lined with booths, the smell of onions and hordes of people at every turn and you'll get the idea -- not my scene. I only walked down to catch Marshall Crenshaw play -- I missed him. I did see him walking away, he was smiling so he must have played a good set. That's the worst review of anything, ever, ha ha. I got back to the safe haven I call home, cooked up some chicken, talked on the phone and relaxed. A great day. A great weekend. That's it. God Bless America. And one more thing. The bus I rode this morning was dirty. I have to go through the whole day with dirty pants -- second time in three weeks! I'm living the life of a Ziggy cartoon! I give up. 5-3-02 Hello. Ah, sweet, sweet Friday! I am SO looking forward to Spider-Man tonight! I can't remember the last time I was looking forward to seeing a film this much -- well, except for Dude, Where's My Car? "Boooooooo!!" Sorry. I've heard good buzz about Spider-Man already. I'm so hooked into the Hollywood scene, ha ha. I'm thinking about changing my "ha ha" to "lol." Everyone knows what lol means by now, right? Laugh out loud, for those in my audience that just bought a computer. Maybe I'll start doing that next week. Busy day at work yesterday. Just nonstop action everywhere you looked. It was a good week. Before the day really got cooking yesterday, I happened to look out my window and I saw these men, taking down a billboard. It's on the side of The Majestic building that you all know so well. It was pouring down rain and this guy was climbing around the billboard like, well, like Spider-Man. I took some photos of the whole process. 
I was fascinated by this for a whole hour! My hat goes off to that guy, good work. On 4/24/02 I talked about my horrible bus ride to work. The bus was filthy, my clothes got really dirty and the driver was rude. I wrote them a letter to complain, never thinking that I'd hear back. I heard back from them yesterday. They said they forwarded my letter to their claims department and to the garage to inspect the bus. This is usually the part of my diary where I scream and get mad at the New Jersey Transit but I'm not going to. I'm over it now. It's forgotten. Seriously, if the driver would have said something to me, anything audible, this whole thing could have been avoided. It's not a big deal. What did he think, I got on the bus in dirty clothes? That I walk around in dirty clothes trying to start trouble? Is this how society works now, have a problem? I'll just mumble something and maybe it will go away! People have rights you know! I'M STILL A HUMAN BEING, AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Internet Acting, thank you, thank you very much. Speaking of bus rides -- I rode the bus with my good friend, Sandi this morning.  Bob's friend Sandi It was a crazy bus ride too. The bus couldn't get into the Port Authority so they had to drive us around the city. Crazy! To top that off, this "out there" person got on. This person was drinking a protein drink from a large plastic cup. This person also sat right in front of us, with feet up on the seat, facing the wrong direction. In other words, facing us. See, I'm on to something when I talk about society these days. This person was socially unacceptable. People! However, I did enjoy my time with Sandi. I said it before, I'll say it again, she's good people. When I was getting off the bus, I said to the driver, "thank you." He said, "I'm sorry." Now that's a good driver. He's apoligizing to the passenger for something that was totally out of his control. He wasn't like that other driver. OK, I think that's about it for today. Thanks for checking out my site this week and please don't forget to tell your friends! God Bless America 5-2-02 Hello! I had a great day yesterday. Everything just kind of went along naturally. OK, first up today, I have to talk about the mystery photo. What an amazing chain of events. The niece of the Mystery Guy (photo from yesterday's diary) calls me. She couldn't believe it! The niece lives in NYC, checks out my site all the time and the Mystery Guy (Her Uncle) was in the city visiting her. They were out celebrating her engagement. So, thank goodness that these people have a sense of humor! I was worried that I was going to get sued! I asked the niece what her Uncle was eating and she said, "He was enjoying a yogurt dessert." Thanks Mystery Guy, you made a lot of people happy.  Mystery Guy revealed: John Heier/San Mateo, California The second exciting thing happened when Tom Foster, the mailroom guy, dropped off a package. You guessed it, my BobBorden.com T-shirts have arrived! Man they look great! The logo was not the same red that we thought, we still like the shirts but we changed the logo to black, just to keep everybody happy. Here's what the shirts look like on humans: 
Pretty sharp! It's cool to have your own name on a shirt! I'm not making any money from the shirts, FYI. I'm hoping that the cheap prices will get my name out there more. The photo shoot was funny. Walter (my web master) was saying OK, pretend to bunt and I'm standing there with the bat behind my head. I WAS IN THE BAND, I don't know about sports! Ask me to hit a high C on the trumpet and I'm your man. Ask me to hold a bat and I'm lost. Oh well, what can you do? I was walking home last night and by someone's trash, I saw a log and a computer monitor. I was going to take a photo because it struck me as being so odd. Then I thought, do you really want to be seen standing on the sidewalk taking a photo of a log? I kept walking. I think that was enough for today. Let's review: Yogurt dessert, great bobborden.com shirts, I can't hold a bat but I can play the trumpet, people are throwing away logs. Have a great day. God Bless America. I'd like to leave you with a brief Instant Message between my friend Pam and myself last night: Pam: goodnight bob borden Bob: sweet dreams are made of this Pam: who am i to disagree? Bob: i travel the world and the seven seas I need help. 5-1-02 I had a good day at work yesterday. I feel like I got a lot accomplished. I stepped on the elevator after work last night, looked down and saw this:  Lettuce in the elevator You know, that was a lot funnier to me last night. Seriously, how did that lettuce get there? It makes you think. I was sitting on the bus last night waiting to depart, I looked up and my friends Tiffany and Liz were walking back. We sat together and just chatted up a storm. To be honest, I just sat there, ha ha. That was a nice change of pace from the usual dregs you have to sit with. I got off the bus and went to the ATM and took this photo:  This is a real sign This handmade sign can only be up for one reason: There are people stupid enough to put their hard earned cash in a machine with no envelope! Doesn't that just make you think that as a society, we're doomed? I was watching Shipmates yesterday and a couple had this exchange: Man: "I thought you were a thug" Woman: "I was thinking the same thing about you!" Is this where we're at? Man! I didn't do much last night. I talked on the phone a little, skipped around a few movies and that was it. So, I'm looking through some photos I got back from the developer and this is what I saw:  Have you seen this man? This guy eating pudding! WHO IS THIS GUY? This guy loves pudding! If you've seen this guy, contact me at BobBorden@BobBorden.com -- I'd like to return his photo. That's it! God Bless America. |
February 2003
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