03-31-05 I got home last night and I walked right into a wall of funk. Usually this means that one or both of my cats, just took a dump (I'm living quite the life, thank you very much.) but no, this was different. (By the way, I'd like to apoligize right now for those opening two lines, in 'the biz,' that's what's know as a GRABBER!) Upon further investigation, I found the funkafied object: This used to be an orange One of my oranges went south on me! So much for eating healthy! I just bought them on Saturday too...maybe they should be kept in the fridge from now on? Live and learn. Why doesn't fruit come with instructions? Like fruit's so great, it doesn't need to inform the consumer how to care for it and enjoy it? What's that all about?! If you haven't figured it out by now, I GOT NOTHING TODAY! Thank goodness for that orange thing or this would just be a blank page. I feel like I may need a haircut. Is that worthy of a paragraph or two? Probably not, darn it! Have you ever tried online dating? I have to kickstart my life somehow or I'm going to be an old fart, sitting in my apartment wondering if my oranges are going bad or if my cats, well, you know. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It ain't easy. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. But really, I do think I know what the deal is, I have to work on myself before anyone will want to walk through my front door. That's a tough thing for me to admit but it's true, I know it's true. Some nice guy wrote to me at my old contest e-mail address last week (winmybeeflog@yahoo.com) and he lost weight by watching his diet for six days and then on the seventh day, he wasn't so hard on himself. Something to think about. I'm thinking, I'm thinking. That's it! Have a great day. All my best, Bob 03-30-05 Guess who did something fun last night? That's right, I did something fun last night. If you weren't in Hoboken last night, you missed the first New Jersey performance by the Kaiser Chiefs! Bob was at this show! I went with my friends: Walter, "Sally," Jay and Tom. We had a great time! In case you've been under a rock, the Kaiser Chiefs are the "it" band of the moment. "Sally" and Walter have seen them 3 times! I believe they lived up to the hype. They have catchy tunes, they're energetic and they seem like nice guys. Kaiser Chiefs I could go on and on but it's late...I did something bad on the way home: 12:30 AM snack I walked by a Dunkin' Donuts and it was go time. I know how bad that was but I'm only human. Just once I'd like to walk past a gym and have it be go time, ha ha. The late snack will even out, I think I sweated off 5 pounds at that concert, it was very hot. OK, that's it! Have a great day. I almost forgot, Kaiser Chiefs are on Late Show tonight -- tune in to experience what I experienced! All my best, Bob 03-29-05 At the very end of yesterday, and I need to stress, the VERY END, I noticed that my belt was too tight. Why did it take 12 hours for me to figure that out? It really could have changed my whole day. Crazy world. Crazy belt. Holy crap, how about that rain?! It DID NOT STOP! Now, at this point in the diary, I should remind you that yes, I did hear about the earthquake in Indonesia that registered an 8.7 on the Richter Scale but I also have to say, this ain't CNN. We keep it light on bobborden.com. Like this next story... When I was walking home in the pouring rain last night, I thought to myself, 'I wonder what kind of umbrella Michael Jackson uses?' That's a nice umbrella Think about it, he's the King of Pop, he uses the thing rain or shine -- it has to be great. I use a Totes, I broke the handle "fixing" a dead battery in a smoke alarm I couldn't reach. I bet the people that make MJ's umbrella do not want to be acknowledged, ha ha. Commercial companies tend to shy away from child molestation cases. For right now anyway (that was a commentary on society). Remember in the 90's, a group called James, they had a hit called, Laid? I heard that song for the first time in years and it made me want to hear more stuff from them. I bought a used live CD from them and it's damn good! You might want to check it out the next time you're at your local record shop. When I left work last night, I walked outside and heard, "Bob Borden!" I looked at this guy standing under an awning, in the pooring rain. I love talking to fans of Late Show but you know, it was really coming down. I said, "Hey, how's it going?" and kept walking. Seemed like the right thing to say at the time but now I feel like I didn't do my duty. So, to the dude under the awning, I say this; I'm sorry. That's it! Have a great Tuesday. God Bless America, Bob 03-28-05 If I said it once, I've said it a thousand times: LEAVE MICHAEL JACKSON ALONE! It's a conspiracy I tells ya, a conspiracy. Sweet Lord I'm tired, I'm tired of being tired. I could probably sum up my three-day weekend in three sentences. But I'll stretch it out so you can kill some time before you start your week, I'm cool like that. Friday I started the long process of cleaning my apartment. I guess you'd call it Spring cleaning. I cleaned up my living room and my kitchen. You'd be surprised how much better a clean kitchen floor looks. I sweep a lot because of the cats but that doesn't have the same impact as a good old, on your knees/back breaking scrub. Something to think about. I picked up some Chinese food for dinner and watched The Good Girl on DVD. I'm not a Jennifer Aniston fan (though I was sorry to hear about her marriage) but I heard is was pretty good. The supporting characters were better. She's just so one note. Bob doesn't have a Jennifer Aniston photo Saturday I woke up around 9:00 and forced myself into doing laundry. I wasn't in the mood but I knew I couldn't do it on Sunday due to Easter. I drove over to the Laundry Depot in Jersey City and it was packed! I couldn't deal with all the people and having to wait for machines, so I got back in the ride and drove to Nutley. I have such a better time doing my clothes there anyway. The lady is super nice and I can grab a slice while my clothes are drying...Ha ha, I think I may have explained myself about laundry 100's of times by now. I'm sorry if you've read the same thing before. I finished up there and then drove back to Jersey City to go to the A & P. Now, why didn't I go to the A & P first, since I was right there? I don't know, I was in the laundry zone and I HAD to get it done. I did my shopping and sad to say, called it a night. I played my nephews in Halo 2 via x-box live...I kicked their butts! Which was a first for me. Good to know that I still got it. Sunday I woke up around 10:00. The plan today was to do something different, I met up with my friend Annie in Montclair. I was in Montclair years ago, it's a nice town. We had coffee, talked and walked around for a while. I had a good day, a whole hell of a lot better than sitting on my ass, ha ha. On my way there, the traffic was CRAZY! The on ramp was all backed up so I cut through Union City. I had to stop on a hill, I wasn't in gear when the light turned, I started to roll back as a cab was coming right up my ass, I got her going and was hit with some crazy panic sweat! Why did I go with a stick again, WHY???!!!!! Oh, I like this stick, I'm kind of good with it...except for that last story. I did somewhat OK with eating this weekend. I did a couple bad things but did more good things, so I'll take that to the bank. I bought oranges! Turns out, oranges are good. Who would have thunk it? You ever feel like you're at the crossroads? I'm not 100% sure what I mean by that. Life, family, job, relationships, friends -- it's quite the balancing act. Don't listen to me, I drank three beers before writing this. I had one for dinner and it was SO good, the other two just kind of happened, ha ha. They were Michelob Ultras, so I think I may have actually lost weight while drinking them. OK, enough of my monkey shines -- Have a great Monday! All my best, Bob 03-24-05 I just walked home in the freezing rain and slush! So much for your fancy Spring! The mix of freezing rain and heavy wind made it feel like I was getting hit in the face with thousands of sharp needles. But things could always be worse, so, I can't complain. Life's all good. But enough with the snow already! In other news, I got nothing, ha ha. I'm serious about changing my ways as far as eating goes. I've just had enough. I was good yesterday but then when I got home, my dinner wasn't so great and I made up for it by eating some Pringles...OK, the whole can. I know that's bad but I was sans other food. I have to plan things out a little better. Not sure what to eat throughout the day yet. Whatever, I'll figure it out in time. You know, that's all I have to say today. I'm taking Good Friday off -- See you on Monday! Happy Easter! All my best, Bob 03-23-05 Where to begin, where to begin? Who has Bracket Mania? I don't get it either. Ah, sports. Go Steelers! I had another talk with my friend Paula last night. I tried one of those dating websites and was talking to her about the experience. It wasn't too much of an experience, I signed up Sunday night and quit Tuesday morning. She asked me what I was doing about a diet (I've been talking about doing something for the past 4 years) and I didn't have an answer. I had that health scare last summer and was watching things for a little while but now I find myself being bad again, eating whatever I want, whenever I want. We talked about other things but she kept going back to the diet thing until I cracked the code: I'm not getting a woman until I do something about myself. She told me that's what she was going for. So, I'm thinking about changing my ways, again. Paula has a line of bulls&$t a mile long but every now and then, some truth comes out. I thank her for that. Hard to find a friend that tells you the real deal. I'm lucky enough to have more than one. The Borgata casino sent me an e-mail yesterday for a free room -- CHA-CHING! I'm not going to go. I even passed on a 'friendly' poker game last night because I don't want to be in that mind set right now. How's that for being good? I still can't believe they turned my quarter Kenny Rogers slot machine into a nickel machine, AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Bastards! And on that note, ha ha, I think that's it! Oh, I almost forgot, I have to give a shoutout...I got a nice e-mail from Mike in San Diego yesterday. He found my site by doing a search on Nutley, NJ, ha ha. He took the time to write and now look, he's on bobborden.com! Good things are coming your way Mike, I can feel it! Tell your friends and your ex-girlfriend about bobborden.com...I need all the help I can get, ha ha (I'm not really kidding). OK, now, that's it! Have a great day. Always, Bob 03-22-05 You know what I forgot to talk about after I got back from my week off? Well, let me tell you. I'm driving east on route 80 and I notice that I'm a little low on gas. But I always like to make functional stops; gas, bathroom, food. Getting just gas or just food, seems like a waste. I keep driving and after about ten minutes, my gas gauge light comes on -- this has never happened to me before. I don't think any of my cars have ever had a gas gauge. So, I took the next exit, got gas and everything worked out. Hmmmmm, something seems missing in that story.(?) I guess I was just excited that I made the gas gauge light turn on. That's the point of the story, right? I don't know... Ever since I stopped gambling (Saturday), my life seems a little bland. The truth is, I was working hard on Monday and didn't have much time to live. Thus, the old story about my gas gauge. Hey, how about another old, pointless, story? Last week I talked about replacing all my white socks to an all color format. I mentioned that the socks were poor quality and left a lot of lint on my toes -- My Mom later informed me that I shouldn't have washed them in hot water the first time out of the gate, oops. Anyway, here's a photo of my feet with sock lint that I didn't use a week ago: Bob's feet You know what my friend Paula would say about that photo? She'd say, "And you're single, right?" Ha ha. I was walking by Paula's office a few weeks ago and she was playing a song I gave her by The Concretes, called, You Can't Hurry Love. It's a real bouncy tune that just makes you want to move. I heard the song, dropped everything, went into her office and we danced! It was so funny. It's the little things. In keeping with today's theme of lame stories and old news, here's some new information but still, very, very lame. Look, here's my new Spring jacket: Bob's new Spring jacket (YAWN!) I love it! I'm kicking the old polar fleese to the Fing curb. I wish I could curse in this diary, it'd make things so much easier sometimes but what can you do? OK, that's it. Stay beautiful, Bob 03-21-05 Friday night, Mexican food and I cleaned the apartment. Saturday, I woke up early, the plan? Atlantic City BABY! I had such a jones to go down there again, I just couldn't fight it. I loaded up my laundry bag (you never know when you'll run into a good laundry mat on the road) and hit the road, the first stop was the Coinstar machine. I had a bag of what I thought was $50 in change...turns out, it was only $32 -- I have to say, I felt like a crack addict handing the lady a receipt for $32. But onward and upward. Did I mention that I'd be taking this trip solo? (Warning sign: Gambling addiction ahead!) I had my $32, my $150 from my Mega Millions win and I knew I could always hit the ATM for another hundy. I got down there around one o'clock and placed an excited call to Walter's phone machine: "Dude, save the date, May 6th -- Sammy Hagar is coming!" I walked around first, I wanted to get a sense of the room and sniff out the hot machines. The Black Jack tables were PACKED, yuk. I found my favorite Kenny Rogers slot machine but something was different, they changed it from a quarter machine to a nickel machine!!! That's the machine I hit for $1800. Damn, damn, damn. I played this machine, I played that machine, whatever -- I lost. I went to the ATM -- lost that and I was on the road by 4 PM. Not that I didn't have fun but I would have liked to win something. I'm forced to take a break from the casino as I don't make the kind of money you can gamble away. I was going to say 3 months seems right but let's not get crazy. I'll go back when I want to go back, I'll go with friends, I'll go without the dream that I'm going to get rich. I got back to north Jersey around 6 PM and went straight to the Laundry Depot. I did my laundry, bought The Incredibles on DVD and went to the A & P. By the time I got home, it was 8 PM -- that's a big day for Bobby, ha ha. I watched The Incredibles and have to say, I didn't care for the story. It looked amazing but it left me saying, 'so that's it?' Sunday I woke up early and had plans to ride the New Jersey Transit's Light Rail train. But then the more I thought about it, the more I thought, 'why would I want to take a train to Jersey City on purpose?' I played Madden 2005 and ate a frozen pizza. With the foundation for a 'perfect day' in place, I just had to build on it. I watched the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame awards -- did you hear Bruce Springsteen's speech, wow -- amazing -- it was SO good. Around 4 PM I said to myself, 'I wonder if the record store still has that used live Slayer CD?' Off to the record store I went. They didn't have it. I could have bought it at another record store but it was too much money. I got another of their CDs off of itunes instead and let me tell you, it hit the spot. Bob's interactions with other humans this weekend: 1. In the record store, the guy asked, "May I help you?" I said, "no." 2. On the walk home from the record store, I passed the bus stop and a guy says, "Hey buddy, can I have $1.50 for the bus?" I looked through him and said, "NO!" He was trying to scam me, he was holding a cup of coffee, skip the coffee buddy and then you'll be able to take the bus. Plus, the bus costs $2.10, I'm like a low-rent Matlock. But I'll give hundreds to a faceless/heartless casino..Oh, I hate myself. (Not really, ha ha) I'm not proud of only 2 interactions with people but some weekends are winners and some, are losers. Oh, this Slayer album is SO good! That's it! Have a great Monday. All my best, Bob 03-18-05 I'm not here to talk about the past. Fell asleep on my sofa at 8:30. Woke up at 10:30, I got 3 calls in that time, didn't hear the phone ring (it was right by my head) once. I said to myself, 'I'm going to return those calls but first, let me just take two minutes to sit on my bed.' 2:00 AM I wake up, too late to return calls, I write the old diary instead. Now we're up to speed. Lil' Kim got convicted of perjury yesterday, wow. She faces up to 20 years! The sentencing is in June. Who would have thought that lying to a federal grand jury was such a big deal, ha ha. Oops. OK, that's it for me. Have a great weekend! All my best, Bob 03-17-05 I loved the headline on Drudge last night: "BARETTA FOUND NOT GUILTY OF MURDER" Ha ha, Baretta. If you watch the news long enough, you really start to think that the world is just SO screwed up. Or maybe, it's just California. Blake got off, Peterson will get the needle and Michael Jackson is screwed no matter how his trial turns out. And Hootie is doing Burger King commercials. It ain't the 90's anymore. CNN announced yesterday that they renewed Larry King through 2009. That doesn't seem like such a smart idea to me. I wonder what Larry will look like in 2009? Oops That's a shame. Shame on me for making that joke. Ah, screw it, it was funny. Not sure I have much more than that today...OH WAIT!!! I totally forgot, I won $150 yesterday! I played Mega Millions and got 3 numbers and the bonus number. I was so excited, I walked into my bosses office and quit. They had to explain to me that $150 wasn't really that much, darn. Anyway, I'm taking that money to Atlantic City this weekend and turning it into $10,000. I really shouldn't go but at the same time, I'm going. I have to get that Kenny Rogers slot machine out of my system. Damn you Kenny Rogers! OK, that's it for me, I'm going to check my sofa for loose change. Stay beautiful, Bob 03-16-05 I don't have ANYTHING today. Truth be told, I was working on other things and the old diary snuck up on me. I've been thinking about buying The Purpose-Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? by Rick Warren. It's the book that the Atlanta woman read to the court shootings suspect. I think she only read one paragraph to him and it hit a nerve for him. It's kind of weird that more people will be exposed to this book because of such a sad state of circumstances. Granted, the book has been a best seller for the past two years but I sure didn't know about it. CNN ran a story on Rick Warren the other day, he's a pastor in CA. Something bothered me about that report...he's popular, he sells a lot of stuff; t-shirts, books and so on. The point being, what's he selling, the word of God or merchandise? But is that fair? You can ask that of any popular endeavor. And if you're selling a t-shirt promoting your message, trying to spread the faith -- so what?! He didn't seem like the type to roll up to Sunday service in a gold-plated Rolls. In the same breath, I'm not sure how I feel about this guy (court shootings suspect) finding his faith after killing four people. I wonder how people forgive sometimes. You lose someone very close to you and forgive the person that took your loved one out of the picture. How do people do that? I hold a grudge if you look at me sideways. Something to work on. Crazy world. That's it! Hugs, Bob 03-15-05 I'm working on getting white socks out of my life. I've worn them even when they weren't in fashion (ha ha) but now at 35, I feel like I need to grow up. I made the change yesterday -- no one noticed and now I just have to wonder why I'm doing this?! But maybe I'm doing this for me and I don't care what anyone thinks...yeah, that sounds good. I'm hip, down, with it. Ja-ja-ja-ja G-Unit! I wear black, blue and tan socks now -- if you can't deal with it, then step to the curb, chump! The new socks, which I washed before wearing (of course), left my feet with a lot of black lint after one wearing - I don't like that AND I could see my toe through the sock at the end of the day. How do you screw up making a sock? Now, the embarrassing part about my new socks...my Mom bought them for me. I know, "HA HA HA." She was going out and she asked me if I wanted anything, I didn't bathe that day so I said, "what the hell, how about some new socks?" So now I feel like I really haven't grown up at all. Crap. Thanks for the socks, Mom. See, 35 year olds don't say that too often! I have one more thing to share and then I'm out. I'm saying goodbye to my nephews/niece last week. There's like 20 of them (OK, only 4) and it takes a while to get to them all. I say goodbye, we hug and all that stuff. I have my jacket on, I'm almost out the door and I hear one of them say, "Uncle Bob?..." And I think, oh, this is going to be one of those touching Hallmark moments I've heard so much about. I turn around to my nephew Jacob. Jacob says, "Uncle Bob, can I have a glass of water?" WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT?! I was expecting, Uncle Bob, we love you -- not Uncle Bob, can I have a glass of water!!! I told him, "What, no 'Uncle Bob, I love you? Get your own water!'" He thought that was pretty funny. Kids, am I right? I think I've eaten my weight in peanuts the past two days. Mr. Peanut has a hold over me. I just went to Planters website, I was going to borrow a photo of Mr. Peanut and make the photo look like he's giving me the finger but it's not worth it...but I am happy to report that I'm on the Planters mailing list. Why, WHY?! Speaking of eating your weight...the last Celebrity Fit Club aired Sunday night. It was guilty pleasure -- they really use the word 'Celebrity' loosely. I think I gained 20 pounds watching that show, weird. Did you ever see The Brother From Another Planet? I just bought it on DVD and can't wait to rewatch it. There was a cheap DVD out for years but I guess MGM got it and did it up right. Very exciting. THAT'S IT! Stay beautiful, Bob 03-14-05 Welcome back! I had a really great week off. I just chilled in Steubenville. I can count the times I left the house on one hand. I can also count the times I took a shower on one hand, ha ha. "Oh Bob, you're so gross!" I hung out with the nephews/niece, bro, sister in law and my Mom -- the same crap I always do on vacation. I have a very strong desire to learn Thin Lizzy's The Boys Are Back in Town on guitar. I'm listening to that on my headphones right now. On my ride back to Hoboken, I misplaced my ipod cord. It lets me hook up my ipod to my radio -- it was a LONG, LONG ride without it. I haven't listened to the regular radio on that trip for at least two years. I found the cord when I got back and I could have kicked myself -- it was in a bag that I looked through before I left. I just looked in the wrong pocket. Commercial radio sucks. I shaved my beard off last Monday. I proved my point (not sure what point I was going for) and now I'm as smooth as a bowling ball. What else, what else? That's enough for the first day back. The anniversary of Dad passing was last week. He's been gone for four years. Hard to believe. I don't think I've shared this photo with many people, maybe I have -- I can't remember, I keep it framed on my wall -- it makes me smile when I see it. L to R: Bob's Dad and Bob (2-24-95) That's it! Have a great day. Sincerely, Bob 03-03-05 Time to get into the D Zone! (The diary zone) Oh man, I'm tired as I write today's diary. I went over to a friend's house (Brian and Heather) to play poker after work and didn't make it home until 12:30 AM. Bob played poker last night (File photo) There was a big group of people, two tables, about 7 people each. One guy had a playing card tattooed on his arm! I was thankful I didn't have to play against him. I had a few good moments, mostly against my friend Walter. We had all our money in one pot and I won on the last card, he looked at me like I just punched him in the gut. It was so funny! But I made some sucker moves and ended up losing. Walter and I lost around the same time. On the way to the bus, I asked him for the time, I swear he said it was 10:12 -- but when I got to the bus station, it was 11:59. I think I heard him wrong. Good time. I was surprised by the answers to yesterday's not a contest question. The video playing in the background of my beard photo was : Mr. Mister....the song was Broken Wings. It was SO EASY! The Mr. Mister guy was in the photo! But, I can't blame you for trying. I have to get to bed. PROGRAM NOTE: My Poconos remote will be rerun on March 11th, please make a note of it. ANOTHER PROGRAM NOTE: I'm taking a week off to relax and I will return on March 14th -- tell your friends. Until then, check out one of the fine links on my links page, I'd go with Rick's site or Kipley's site as they update often. That's it! Stay beautiful, Bob 03-02-05 TIME FOR THE BEST DIARY OF MY LIFE! On second thought, I think I'm just going to call this one in, ha ha. Hey, I think I'm growing a beard! Look, facial hair It's less than a week old but I'm in the mood to let it grow for a few more weeks. It seems darker than past beards. Excuse me for a second, "YAWN!" Bonus points if you can guess the video playing in the background of the beard photo -- it's an easy one. You can e-mail me at winmybeeflog@yahoo.com. You won't win anything but I may e-mail you back. Something cool happened to me on the bus last night. I'm listening to my ipod, trying to drown out the world and Aerosmith comes on. Their song, Mama Kin, is halfway through and I think to myself, damn, it'd be great if Back in the Saddle (another Aerosmith tune) came on next. Mama Kin ended and boom: Back in the Saddle! How crazy is that? You should have seen the smile on my face. Also on the bus, there was a girl in front of me looking at some photos on her Palm. I had a great view and decided to look at everything she was scrolling through. She had a lot of photos of The Gates (she may have had too many of those) and then she looked at a bunch of photos of friends and kids. It was like I was watching her whole life. Did I feel guilty for my invasion of privacy? Not really. It's a boring bus ride, I look at it like entertainment. It was either her or looking out the window and I've seen that movie before. Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it, Most Confusing E-mail Subject Line I Received Yesterday. Ready? Check this out: *(&^%$%$_()#_&#T":!! (*&!#%@@>:{+$@)(!!! What the hell does that mean?! I was so intrigued that I bought 20 of them, ha ha ha -- Boooooooooooo!!!!!! I think that e-mail subject line changed my font. We'll see what happens once I post this sucker. That gives me a new idea; Different Font Wednesdays. Kind of like, Two for Tuesday, except not as clever. I think I'm going to shave. That's it! Stay beautiful, Bob 03-01-05 Snow! 4 to 6 inches Monday, 4 to 8 expected today. Here's a photo I took of myself while walking home last night: It's snowing I like walking in a snowstorm, it's so peaceful. Well, it's not so peaceful around these parts but back in Ohio, you could hear the snow hitting the ground. I remember walking my dog, Max, one snowstorm. He loved it. We sat on a railroad tie, at a dead end street and I remember wishing we could sit there forever. He was getting up in years and had a few health problems. He was such a good dog. (I've talked about this before, haven't I?) We had a snowmobile guy on the show last night. When he made his big stunt, a back flip, I took this photo: 14 floors above 53rd Street I didn't have the camera zoomed in but if you look close, he's in the air. That's somewhat cool. I have to come clean on something - in yesterday's diary, I talked about seeing The Gates and posted this photo: What's wrong with this photo? Turns out, I never saw the gates and I stole that photo from my friend Walter. Walter at The Gates I'm sorry I lied. I used my Photoshop magic to make it seem like I was there. I don't know why I did it, I guess I heard all the cool kids talking about the sweet times they had at The Gates and I just wanted to fit in. I'M SORRY! I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Lord knows I'm sorry. That's it for me. Have a great Tuesday! All my best, Bob

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