03-31-03 Q: Bob, how was your weekend? A: Well, Friday night after work I stopped by Tiffany's work to see if she wanted to grab some dinner. Luckily, she was free, we went to a nice little Thai place. (file photo) Good eating and good company, what more could you want? I got home and watched some TV. Saturday I woke up around 11. VH1C was having a Heavy Metal weekend; that means that I was having a heavy metal weekend too, ha ha. I sat there for almost three hours watching bad heavy metal videos. It was great! After I scraped myself off the sofa, I gathered up my laundry and walked up the street -- there were hardly any people in the laundry mat, it was fantastic! When I went to put my clothes in the dryer, I found the laundry mat's electronic-card "pass key" thing. They left it on a laundry cart. Had I been a dishonest person, I could have had free laundry for life! But I'm honest and I gave it to the attendant. Damn honest genes! I finished my laundry, dropped it off at my apartment and then walked up to Washington Street, just in time for the rain. On the way up there, a woman was turning the corner and almost hit me with her car! I was walking; she looked right but not left, she turned and hit the gas! I had to pour on the speed to avoid her, kind of scary. Thank God for my cat-like reflexes! I couldn't even get off a few choice curse words but I did hear her say she was sorry. Women drivers, am I right people?! Just kidding. I made it to Washington, got a haircut, picked up a burrito and headed back to my cave. I watched the film 24 Hour Party People. Very funny, very clever -- I enjoyed it. Sunday I woke up around 10, watched some TV and then headed out. I wanted to go back to The Wiz to see if they lowered their prices more, they're going out of business. 30% off of CDs, that's like $8 a CD. I picked up 3: Stray Cats' Greatest Hits, Eric Clapton's 461 Ocean Boulevard and Merle Haggard's Big City. All great CDs but Merle Haggard really stands out. It's the kind of CD that makes you wish you were drunk, ha ha. After The Wiz, I drove over to the A & P. I think the A & P depresses me -- just something about shopping alone. I can't put my finger on it. It's cold again, maybe that has something to do with it. Dinner for Sunday night: Chicken with Jamaican Jerk seasoning and some soup. That's about it. Oh, and I watched more heavy metal videos. Who the heck ever heard of Kick Axe? Shotgun Messiah? Horrible. And how was your weekend? "Blah, Blah, Blah." That's great! Have a great day! Hugs, Bob 03-28-03 Friday is now. That sounds like a local news tease, horrible. Hi. I went out last night. A bunch of us went out to celebrate Jay's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY! (file photo) We were going to take two cabs but then Chris and I decided to take the subway. Turns out that taking the subway means that you end up four or five long blocks from the restaurant. For some reason I forgot about all the streets between 5th and 3rd avenues. I thought it went, 5th, 4th and 3rd. I don't know why I thought that but confusion seems to be 80% of my life. We get there and we were only 5 minutes late. Whew! Anyway, I had a really good time. Here's a photo from the festivities: Match the names to the photo: Jay, Chris, Walter, Bob, Tom, Chris and Colleen Special thanks to "Sally" for taking the photo - It was pretty funny, I got up to take the photo and "Sally" got up too, she insisted on taking the photo, she's internet shy - very understandable. Did you match the names to the photo yet? Go on, it's fun! After dinner we parted ways and I took the PATH train back to Hoboken. When the train was almost at Hoboken, I looked up and saw some old friends, Dave and Deirdre. I was happy to see them and after we parted ways I was even happier that I didn't remember what happened when I first met them, wow, two years ago already! If you want to read the gross story, checkout my diary archives from 1-8-01. They're good people. How about that Sweet Sixteen action? I wish I new something about sports. I'm in a bracket pool for this thing and I can't tell if I'm in it or out of it?! I think the safe money is on that I'm out of it, ha ha. But you have to be in it to win it! ? That's it. I have to go to bed so I can gear up for a crazy weekend! I don't have any plans. (That last sentence was a little hint to all the ladies out there. Did I mention that as I write this it's very late?) Have a good weekend. Always, Bob 03-27-03 I'm sitting at my desk yesterday, working. Then the florescent lights start to flicker. I should say they were flickering; it was a constant flicker. Then, the word went around that we may lose power and that we should probably save any work that we may have open on the computer. I tell everyone on my floor that information. Turns out, the manhole on 53rd street is on fire. That's odd, I thought to myself. A few minutes later, I hear a HUGE explosion 14 floors down, right outside my window! I thought; this is the big one! I just sat there for a few seconds in shock. The manhole exploded, shooting the manhole-cover about six stories in the air. I'm still not exactly sure what happened, if the pressure backed up or if the fire hit some gas? All I know is it sounded like a bomb exploded. Scary stuff. Boom! Not too long afterwards, I was eating vanilla pudding. Why vanilla pudding? I figured what the hell, it may be time to start living for today. Damn that pudding was good! I have to say that after that incident, I was exhausted. All the stress of that situation went straight to my spine and hung there for a while. It was good to go home, put on the headphones and listen to Metallica's Master of Puppets. That CD is a stress breaker. I also watched a little Junkyard Wars. Sadly, that show has become the show that I love to hate. However, if they ever asked me to host, my tune would change very quickly. I just realized what a sell-out I am, damn. Hey, don't forget to buy a bobborden.com t-shirt in the bobborden.com store! That's all I got! Have a great day. Love, Bob 03-26-03 Good day to you. Wasn't that a nice way to start the old diary today? I hope that my friendly greeting helps kick start your day into something positive and wonderful. Perhaps you're just on the brink of curing a horrible sickness and my kind words pushed you in a positive direction. Or maybe you weren't expecting to smile. I don't know what I'm talking about. Walter and I went to the Virgin Mega-Store last night. We each wanted to pick up Krzysztof Kieslowski's trilogy on liberty, equality, and fraternity - three films called Blue, White and Red -- You see, we love modern cinema. Actually, Walter wanted to get the Jackass movie and I, having nothing better to do, went along for the hell of it. I did manage to buy a film I've been hearing great things about, 24 Hour Party People. I'm looking forward to watching that film. I love a good movie! I hope I can borrow Jackass from Walter soon. After we parted ways, I did one of my all time favorite things; I took in a Broadway show. I love the great white way! Bob doesn't like Broadway shows. He's just kidding. It was a magnificent night for the theatre. Can I still be tired from the Oscars!? I'm going to take five and hand over the bobborden.com reigns to my friend Pam. Pam, what do you have for the people? "Happy Wednesday BobBorden.com readers, Friday is on its way here. I can't get into the work mode this week. There are too many distractions, the war, the weather and www.reflexgame.com. The internet never ceases to amaze me; where else can you find this stuff? You go to this website to test your reflexes by hitting start and then stop as quickly as possible when the color of the screen changes. My lowest time was 0.209 seconds, and the message I get with my score is 'Better than most, but not as good as you could be.' I want to be the best I can, but I just can't get myself to react any quicker. See if you can. Have a good day!" Thanks Pam! That's all I have. Have a great day. God Bless America. 03-25-03 I was thinking about a lot of stuff last night as I got on the bus. I sat down and sure enough, I hear the bus driver blowing into the microphone. I accidentally got on the bus with the crazy driver! "Greetings, we'll be riding at speeds from 20 to 50 miles per hour, our first available stop is 18th street, this is a recording. And someone in the back smiled." Meanwhile, the guy cut off two other busses, was so close to the curb in the Lincoln Tunnel that his tires dangerously rubbed against the curb and is driving like a nut. But thank GOD his microphone is working! Someone hit the bell to get off at the next stop and he says in the mic, "There it is." As in, Oops, there it is. INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to be honest; I don't have a lot to talk about today. I got home last night and just kicked it. I still feel tired from the Oscars. I have to change my diet. I can't keep doing this to myself. I like all the wrong things and I eat those things until I'm stuffed - not good! Meaningless photo of Bob Anyway, that's my problem. That's all I have today. I can't end it here, too early. I'm hoping our P.O.W.s are safe. I hated seeing those videos as much as the next guy. I think our troops should be going into Baghdad today. My thoughts and prayers are with them today - pretty brave bunch of men and women, to say the least. I saw video this weekend of some protesters burning the flag - Disgusting. Protest all you want, I understand your point, you want peace, blah blah blah but burning the flag? I personally am writing everybody's name down that does something stupid. Yes, I keep a list of people/companies that have wronged me. Top of the list right now is Michael Moore. What a jerk! OK, maybe I should have ended this two paragraphs ago? -- Food for thought. Have a good day. God Bless America. 03-24-03 Hello. My Friday night got off to an interesting start. Because of a rainstorm I took a bus that I usually don't take and I ran into an old friend. That was a pleasant surprise, even more so because we remembered each other's names, ha ha. Once I got home I came across the film Dances with Wolves. That's one film that slipped by me, so I decided to watch. It was pretty good. Saturday I woke up around 9 and hit the showers. I got in the car and headed over to the auto-parts store to do some troubleshooting on my fast-blinking turn signal. I pulled the fuse and it dropped into an unreachable pocket. I bought a new fuse, put it in and nothing. I read on the internet that the ground wire could have come lose. I checked out the rear lights, fine. I unscrewed the front light and that was fine. I gave up and drove to the laundry to put my clothes in the wash. While I was there, I said to myself, you can't give up. I looked at the rear bulbs. I turned the blinker on and pulled out a bulb - the indicator blinked as fast as it did with the bulb in. After fiddling around with different variations, I fixed it! Turns out that one of the new bulbs I put in there wasn't working properly - I think. It works, that's all I care about. I celebrated my victory by making right turns every chance I could. I got back from that experience and it was time for dinner. I cooked up some chicken and ziti. Mmmmmmm. I watched The King of Comedy. That's a great film. I picked it up from the going out of business sale at The Wiz. -- 30% off all DVDs and CDs, that's a sweet deal. I also bought Van Halen's 0U812 and some AA batteries. Sunday I woke up around 8 and cleaned the apartment. Around 3, I headed over to Walter's place to play some games. Our friend Jay was having friends over to watch the Academy Awards. So, We thought we'd get in some pre-Oscar Madden. Around 7:30 "Sally," Walter and I jumped in a cab to Jay's. We watched the ceremony in HDTV. I don't want to overstate the HDTV experience -- simply put: it was glorious! Top L-R: Chris, Walter, Jay Middle: Richard Gere Bottom L-R: Bob, Tom "Sally" took that photo. Thanks Jay for a fun evening! I was surprised by the lack of liberal speeches concerning the war. Michael Moore, surprise, surprise, spouted some BS but was booed by the audience. Audience: 1 - Moore: 0. That was a long, long ceremony! Nobody knows how to kiss Hollywood's butt better than Hollywood. Some "highlights", the endless film clips before the awards, the Oscar sound clips of what happened seconds before and the NEVER-ENDING salute to the 59 people that have won Oscars. I'll never get those four hours back. That's it! Have a great day. God Bless America. 03-21-03 I can't be on the frontlines because of my, because of my - my trick knee, yeah, that sounds good, because of my trick knee but that doesn't mean that I can't support our troops. Today, to show support for our fighting men and women, BobBorden.com will be broadcast in Night Vision! Today's Photo of the Day looks so much cooler in Night Vision. I wonder what I'd look like? Bob in Night Vision That's something! I like Night-Vision Bob better than Color Bob but that's my problem. I don't want to hear anymore about France and Germany - it boils my blood! That's all I'm going to say. I don't understand protesters either; they seem to have a different kind of mentality. Actually, I do understand their point but I don't agree -- enough of that topic. I've been so tempted this week to go back to Atlantic City this weekend. I can't do it because it could start a dangerous trend that I can't afford. I just really got a rush from the Craps table. Fun game. I can't go back, right? I'm not going. I'm going to stay local this weekend. Did you ever see The Buddy Holly Story? I was watching that the other night and man, what a great movie! That has to be Gary Busey's finest hour. And yes, I am including Point Break in that statement, ha ha. I've run out of things to talk about. It's been all work and no play for Bobby this week. I'll make up for it this weekend, hopefully. Have a great weekend. God Bless America. 03-20-03 AMERICA AT WAR: Day One. Yikes. BobBorden.com supports the men and women on the front lines, fighting for all of us, to make the world a safer place. God Bless You. Bravo was playing The Straight Story last night - man, that's a good film! I also watched Junkyard Wars on TLC. I haven't seen that in a while. I'm getting tired of that show - they repeated the same facts over and over again. The specialist says something, then the host says the same thing, then they show a diagram and then they say the same fact again. Find some other way to fill the time! No more bad TV! I'm hoping against hope that because of the war, there's no retaliation on American soil. I don't want to go through that again. But in the event that something should happen, I've been stockpiling supplies. Well, actually, I only bought one item so far: Bob bought a mosquito net In case of retaliation, I bought a mosquito net. I'm ready - come and get me suckers! I want to thank Christopher for calling me about my turn-signal problem yesterday, thank you. I'm assuming you guys made it to California safely - Good for you and Liz. It was a little chilly last night. I wasn't ready for that. I downgraded to a light jacket. Now, I have to wear something warmer. I have such a tough life, ha ha. I'm going to end today's diary with a new feature called: Why Bob's Joke about the Mosquito Net Was Funny, here we go - With America at war, on High Alert status and under the constant threat of terrorism, I went out and bought a mosquito net which offers almost zero protection against such threats. And that was Why Bob's Joke about the Mosquito Net Was Funny. That's it! God Bless America (I mean it!) 03-19-03 I don't want a war as much as the next guy but at the same time, every now and then, you have to shuffle the deck a bit. I'd like to see Saddam out of there and let the people rule. And I support the protestor's right to freedom of speech but I'd like to support the men and women on the front lines - I want to show my patriotism. I was thinking about it all day and then it hit me, I'll start making FREEDOM FRIES! Here's a quick mock up I did for the box: BobBorden.com now offers FREEDOM FRIES It's that sprit that made America what is today. Freedom fries, come on, that's funny! Hello? That damn photo took a while - I'll never get that time back, ha ha. I stopped in the old record store last night. I bought my ticket to the Mike Watt show for May 5th. If you live in Hoboken and you want to hear some great music, go check him out, hell, I'll even be there. Hell, if you're a woman, I'll buy your ticket! (Limit: one woman) While I was there, I thought I'd pick up some new music; my collection is in dire need of something new. I picked up the new Stephen Malkmus CD. I really like it. If you don't know who Stephen Malkmus is, I don't know what to tell you, time to get hip to the scene! I hit the burrito place after that. Damn, they make a good burrito! I actually got a chicken tostada. Damn, they make a good chicken tostada! I rarely do this but screw it - If you're in Hoboken and in need of some good chow, check out: Bob likes this place That's what's known in the industry as a plug. Share the love, that's my motto - I've been eating there for years. That's all I have for today. Have a great day. It feels like Thursday today for some reason. We're going to war tonight, crazy. God Bless America. 03-18-03 Man, this Iraq stuff seems like it's going to happen, 48 hours. I doubt Saddam will throw in the towel; that really doesn't fit the profile of an evil dictator. We're back up to Orange Alert too. I don't like Orange Alert. A few weeks ago with all the Duct tape stuff, things felt really tense. All I can say is yuk. I yearn for the carefree days of this past weekend, ha ha. Thanks to Mark from my message board. He helped me out with my turn-signal problem. Turns out, I think I need a thermal flasher. I found this photo from howstuffworks.com (I added the red arrow): Bob needs a thermal flasher I thought that was very interesting. I'll put that thermal flasher thing on this weekend. That seems like it would do the trick. Until then, I'll only make left turns, ha ha. I knew my website was good for something. It's not helping me meet women (which is still the sole intent of the site) but it's great for auto advice. Who knew? I was tired yesterday. I think I need a few days to adjust to the new, warmer climate. Or, It could have been from driving for 5 hours to gamble. Nicest day of the year on Sunday and I'm in a casino. Looking back on Sunday and on that last sentence, I wouldn't change a thing. When I was driving back from Ohio a few weeks ago, Bob Seger's song, Like a Rock, came on the radio. That radio jingle is tattooed on my brain like the tattoo of a mermaid on a drunken sailor's arm. LIKE A ROCK! Anyway, I listened to the whole song and you know what, it's pretty good. OK, that's it for King's Things today, ha ha. Have a great day. God Bless America. 03-17-03 Hello. How about that weather? It's crazy! I'm fine with it. OK, Friday night I picked up a burrito, put in Easy Rider and called it a night. I can't get enough of that film! I watched it a few weeks ago as well. Saturday I woke up around 11, maybe more like 11:30. Ok, I woke up at 12. I was tired; give me a break! I did eventually get my act together and drove over to the A & P. I also did my laundry. On my way over, I noticed that my right turn signal indicator was blinking 5 times faster than the left turn signal indicator. I thought to myself, damn, I have a taillight out. While my Laundry was in the machine I drove over to the auto parts store to get some new lights. I replaced my right rear taillights. And the indicator was still the same. Then I replaced the front and that didn't help. Now, it's driving me nuts! Maybe I have a bad sidelight? That's my next option. If anyone's ever heard of this, drop me a line. Saturday night Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid was playing on the Western channel. I enjoy that flick - Bob Dylan is in it! He did the score as well. My philosophy teacher in college turned me on to that film. He always used to quote the film to me, "Keep the change Bob." And that was my Saturday. Sunday I was up at 7am. I was a man on a mission. Walter and I drove to Atlantic City to meet up with Rupert and May from the Hello Deli. The plan? Gambling! It was a lot of fun sitting at a Blackjack table with Rupert and Walter. I'm not going to talk about figures, all I'm going to say is that I brought down what I could afford to lose. That's a good thing because I lost. Then, I went to the ATM. I know, I know, that's a sucker move. We went to the Craps table. I know very, very little about the game but luckily; the "dealers" were very cool. Fun! After a few fun filled hours at that table, I walked away up. Whew! We parted ways and Walter and I headed back up North. Fun, exciting day! And that was my weekend. That's it for today. God Bless America. 03-14-03 Another bus ride, another overheard cell phone conversation. When will people ever learn? I'm sitting two seats in front of some guy that's talking way too loud. He says, "Oh my God, she said that?! She's cutting deep with that!" Go home and talk on the phone! Save your "cool witticisms" for your frat buddies! Guess who went out last night? That's right, I did! I wasn't going to go, then my friend Lee said, "Why don't you go out?" Then I thought; why don't I go out? Here's a photo of my friend Pam and I: From L to R - Pam, Bob I've never been happier, I can't speak for Pam, ha ha. I had a good time until I picked a piece of skin off my lip (chapped lips) and I struck oil. Yuk. Nothing sexier than a large man, wearing his winter coat at the bar, with a bleeding lip - But, I went out, so what the hell. Now I don't have to go out for at least another year. You know, it's late and I've run out of entertaining stories. My Sunday is looking very promising but I can't talk about that yet. Stay tuned. Until Monday, have a good one. God Bless America. 03-13-03 It's Thursday! I bet I'm the only guy in America that opened his door last night and said to his cats, "What's up in the hizzy?" I got another letter addressed: To Our Single Friend - What the hell? They really know how to rub it in! I'm fat too but thank God I never got a letter addressed: To Lard Ass. Being single and fat aren't points of pride. Why not address a letter: To Nice Guy. That's something I'd open! It's all about marketing. I was walking home and I overheard another neat conversation. Two women were walking past and I heard: "If I would have been at 'Jim's' I would have kicked her ass!" Ha ha, isn't that funny?! Mom, the search is over, I found her, the girl of my dreams! Yesterday I mentioned that I wanted to listen to some Buck Owens. Today, I'm in the mood for some Roy Clark! ROY CLARK I'm going to find some of their Cds this weekend come hell or high water! I think you'll agree when you look back at today's diary that it wasn't about quantity but quality. In other words, that's all I got! God Bless America. 03-12-03 I was in the record store last night looking for some Buck Owens. The idea of kicking back and listening to some Buck Owens pleases me. Buck Owens But alas, they didn't have any Buck. They did have more NEW COUNTRY than you could shake a stick at! Too bad. On my way out of the store I looked at the musical acts coming through town. Holy crap! Mike Watt's touring! Mike Watt's coming to a town near you! I didn't buy a ticket at that time because I wasn't sure if it conflicted with a vacation. On my walk home I thought of a brilliant idea! For my vacation, I'll offer, free of charge, my services as a roadie. They'd get free labor and I'd get the experience of a lifetime. After checking though, my schedule won't allow it. Damn. I would have loved to do that. Oh well, I'll buy my tickets tonight. In other news, there's not a lot going on. I'm still trying to get back in the swing of things after my week off. The guest host shows keep me busy but not as busy as I'm accustomed to when Dave's here. I hope he feels better soon. That's all I have today. Have a great day and I'll see you tomorrow. God Bless America. 03-11-03 I was out of it yesterday. For some reason I only got 3 hours of sleep Sunday night. Then, all day long, I felt like I was getting sick. I didn't feel like myself until I was outside. Turns out, the sweater I was wearing may have been too hot and I never thought to take it off. Live and learn. I'm walking home and I see/hear this great exchange. Two guys see each other and hug. By the time I get to them I overhear this, "Yo, who was that female you were with yo, she was fly yo." I enjoyed that. But I didn't enjoy overhearing some guy on the bus talking on his cell about how messed up he got after two Margaritas. And I really didn't need to hear how much laundry the girl in front of me had to do. It was quite the night. People and cell phones equal ignorance. I'm trying to invent a new device for my TV where I'd never have to hear a celebrity's political views ever again. I respect everyone's right to freedom of speech; I'm just tired of hearing all the lies. LIES! I'm thinking about purchasing a video camera -- nothing crazy expensive, just something small that would let me express my creative side. On my search for such a camera, I found a Tivo type of unit for about $130 after rebates. It was touch and go there for a while but ultimately I decided that I shouldn't spend money on something that would keep me indoors. I'm glad I thought it through. I'm anxious for winter to end. I love the snow and I love the cold. But I don't love walking into the burrito shop and having my glasses fog up. I know those guys are laughing at me after I leave the store. I look something like this: Not cool I stick out like a turd in a punch bowl. And on that lovely note, I bid you adieu. Have I ever mentioned how much I like the VH1 Classic channel? Good videos! That's it! God Bless America. 03-10-03 I'm back! Before the break I weighed all my vacation options very carefully and decided that the jewel of Ohio, Steubenville, needed my vacation dollars more than anywhere else. That was a long way to go to simply say that I went to Steubenville for vacation. I hope the rest of this diary is better - don't hold your breath. My week got off to a grand start when my Mom and I hit the local casino. Don't let the amount fool you, those nickel slots pay off if you find the right machine. Soon, we were ordering the top items off the casino restaurant's menu, Chicken Parmesan and a fish sandwich. That's some sweet living my friends. Another highlight came when my nephew wanted me to sleep over. I informed him that 9:00 was way too early for me to turn in, I didn't have my pajamas and sleeping on the floor really wasn't an option. He carefully reviewed all my points and then he cried. I felt lower than a snake in the grass. Instantly, I became the black sheep of the family. We did have a sleep over later in the week so I made up for it but it was touch and go there for a while. I don't have a whole lot to report about my week off. I spent a lot of time indoors helping my Mom. Time well spent. I'm going to end it here. Two years ago today, my Dad passed away. My thoughts are with him and all the good times we had. Bob, Dad (Holding Lucas) and George R.I.P. E.R.B. God Bless America

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