6-30-04 Hello. What beautiful days the Lord has patched together for us on the East coast. It's really nice these days, no humidity - you have to love that. I don't have a lot to say today, mostly because I'm living for the weekend! Can I get a witness?! Big holiday weekend coming up and I'm going to get CRAZY! Ha ha, I don't even know what 'getting crazy' means anymore. "I remember when getting crazy used to mean something" -- that's a quote from every movie made in the 80's, ha ha. Do you remember the 80's movie, Hardbodies? Remember the 80's? Does anybody remember laughter? Forgive me if I've talked about this movie before but when you think of great weather and bad movie quotes, 9 times out of 10, your answer will be Hardbodies. This surfer dude, Scotty, helped 3 businessmen land chicks in trade for staying at their place. Scotty's thing was telling the guys that they had to offer the women a B.B.D. - you know, a Bigger, Better, Deal. HBO used to play that flick around the clock and I watched it everytime it came on. That was a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: Ah, forget it. Diane from my message board wrote to me yesterday with some words of encouragement on my diet. Thank you very much Diane. I'm doing pretty good, my intake of junk food isn't close to where it used to be. When I do "cheat" I have something small. It's not even cheating, it's just living. I turned down a cupcake yesterday. Never in a million years could I ever have imagined that scenario, ha ha. Anyway, I believe that the diet part and the walking part will come together sooner than later. That's it! Have a great day. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 6-29-04 Best piece of junk e-mail I received yesterday, the subject line read: "Get the Spice channel for free" -- Where do I sign up?! I'm just kidding of course. I still have cars on the mind. I can't help it, I've always loved cars. My search has me looking around on Ebay, just to see what stuff's going for. You see some interesting things on Ebay, people trying to make their cars stand out from the rest with photos and great detail. The best and worst example goes to the guy that did this: (always click to make bigger) Problem: Car by itself, not good enough. Solution: A blue oval, with the car crudely cut out. We have a winner! ha ha. That's an Opel GT, they call it the poor-man's Corvette, yeah, no kidding. I look at Opels on Ebay because we used to have an Opel station wagon. I remember driving with my Dad once, he let me grab the wheel, we almost hit a tree. It didn't have power steering and I was a kid. He hit the brakes in plenty of time. Have you ever heard the song 'Street in the City' by Pete Townshend? It's very good; strings, guitar and Pete. Very lovely and has dark/funny overtones. I'm listening to it on my ipod right now. I have to start over again with the ipod. I'm getting sick of hearing the same 900 songs over and over again, I'm 'sort of' kidding but not really. Shawn from my message boad received his contest prize the other day. He sent me a photo and I thought I'd share it: Shawn I think he's doing an imitation of me but just in case he's not, get well soon Shawn, ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! That's it! Nothing new in my world, just relaxing and taking it as it comes - whatever the hell that means. Have a good one, Bob 6-28-04 Remind me never to buy HUMMUS again -- WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I'm not a hummus person. Anyway, HELLO! I have a great story from Friday that I'd like to share. I'm interested in upgrading my car. The more I think about it, the more I think that my car belongs in a small town somewhere, going to the store. Around here, you get on an on-ramp and have to go from zero to 65 in 3 seconds. The '82 Jeep, that's been in my family for over 20 years, deserves better. So, I'm in the market for a good, used car. I saw the used car ads on the Hoboken website and responded to two Thursday night, both VW Jetta's. The first person answered everything great. The second person wrote: "Auto - 78,250 miles - 4 new tires - one very small dent that could be pulled out easily but really I don't think it has to. Is this Bob from the letterman show?" I read that and was shocked! "Who the hell could this be?!" I wrote back: "Thanks for getting back to me, I'm still in the thinking process -- and yes, it's Bob from late show -- how the heck do you know that?" He wrote: "Hi Bob Borden - It's Steve - you bought the last car we had for sale!!!! Crazy - I thought I recognized the name. We had a baby and had to get a bigger car so I have to trade this one in or sell it privately" I can't tell you how I responded to that because it involves curse words but isn't that CRAZY?! I bought my last car, a Nissan 240 sx, from them back in 2001. At that time they were selling the Nissan to upgrade to this: They had to upgrade to the Jetta because of this: What a cute kid! I almost want to buy the car for the story but when it comes to business, I don't let my emotions get in the way. I test drove the other Jetta yesterday, I met Kristin at 3:00 in Hoboken. I told her to look for a big guy with glasses. I was waiting, she walked up to me and asked me if I was Bob. I thought to myself, damn, I guess my 'big guy with glasses' description is spot on, ha ha. The car was real nice/solid but not for me. We were 5 minutes into the drive and I just told her that this car wasn't right for me. I thanked her for her time and was on my way. She was good people though, you can always tell a good person. That was my car excitement, I'm thinking about buying a car from a rental company. All the experts seem to agree that it's a good deal. They keep all their records, the cars are 2003's with 30,000/40,000 miles for around $8000, which isn't bad at all. I'm still thinking about this. I may just sit on it for a while. As for the rest of the weekend, I just did the normal "Bob" things; laundry in Nutley, A & P. I went for a long walk yesterday, that felt good. I have to get walking into the routine now. Great weekend, if their were only a beach in Hoboken, then we'd have something. That's it! Have a great day! Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 6-25-04 Q: When does the weekend start? A: The weekend starts NOW! Can I get a witness?! It's Friday already, that was a quick one, thank goodness! I have to start off today by saying thanks to my friend across the pond, Carl. Carl sent me some cool CDs yesterday out of the blue. Very nice, thank you! This is turning out to be the week of giving, I love it! But there's no contest prize for Carl, sorry man. I treated myself to some cheese curls last night. If it means anything, I did buy the "healthy" ones. I don't feel bad about it, I just knew on the bus ride home that I wanted something. I've been doing really well, so I said to myself, what the hell? I can't be so hard on myself, otherwise I'll crack and go back to my old ways. I'm 100% back on the plan - I'm not giving up this time. Yesterday was the big Eric Clapton guitar auction at Christie's auction house. My Photo of the Day from a few days ago was from that sale. I became a little obsessed with that guitar, to the point where I almost put in a bid. It was listed between $1000 and $1500. That's a lot of money for me but I was very close to making a $1200 bid. But I didn't, I couldn't justify spending that on a guitar that he may have played, the higher priced ones he played and recorded with. Anyway, the "Hawaiian guitar" I wanted, ended up selling for $12,000! Ha ha, isn't that crazy? Rich people 1, Bob 0. I need a date or something this weekend, I don't have any plans right now. I have to figure something out and quick. About five years ago this Sunday my friend Jeff moved out to LA. I only bring this up because before he left, we did something pretty special: Jeff and Bob We went to Times Square and commissioned one of their better street artists to sketch our portrait. How funny is that? Man that was fun/awkward. We had to sit on a stool (the same stool) while everyone and their mother walked by. The legacy of this photo can be explained with one question: "Are you gay?" I've been asked that by just about everyone I know - I guess having this art on my bedroom wall isn't helping anything, ha ha. He was just asked that question by a lady friend of his after she saw the drawing. Anyway, Jeff, wherever you are, God bless you buddy. That's it! Have a great weekend. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 6-24-04 I received something great in the mail yesterday: MY NEW BOAT! My inflatable-boat arrived - just in time for summer! Oh the tales I'm going to be able to tell once I get it up and running. Sweet! I also received something lovely from a loyal bobborden.com reader; Karoline. She sent me a big get-well-soon care package. How nice is that? Thank you very much! It was filled with healthy food, a book and some fake flowers. Nice touch with the flowers. Time for a new contest, I call it: INSTANT WINNER. It's simple, I'm just going to name someone and he/she wins. The Instant Winner's name is, surprise, surprise: Karoline!!!! Congratulations! (See how that works?) I'll have something half-way decent in the mail very soon. I hope you enjoyed INSTANT WINNER -- See, people really win on bobborden.com! Tell your friends! Man, there was some kind of fire or something in Hoboken last night. I got off the bus uptown so I wouldn't get stuck in the traffic jam. There were well over 20 emergency vehicles on the scene. They had the block roped off - I couldn't figure out what happened but, wow, that was something. If anything good can come from that sort of thing, I did enjoy the longer walk home. I might do that from now on, take the long way home. It felt good. That's all I have for today. Have a great Thursday! All my best, Bob Bob's Bottom-of-the-Page Financial Update: Lost the lottery the other night but that same night, I had a GREAT dream that I won $15,000 on a slot machine, that was exciting, until I woke up. I guess the update is this: I'm still poor. 6-23-04 The votes are in, I've heard you loud and clear: THE VW BEETLE IS A CHICK CAR!!! Good Lord, I've never been so wrong about anything before. I'm still thinking about selling the Jeep. I don't know, I get an idea in my head and go crazy with it for a while and then it goes away. I've been looking at other cars besides the Bug and I don't know what kind of modern machine is out there that I can afford. OK, enough. I put Elvis Presley's Burning Love on my ipod, thinking that It'd be a fun song to hear while on shuffle play. Well, I swear I hear the darn song everytime I push play. Now, I hate the song. I was running an errand outside the theatre yesterday and people were in front of Rupert's Hello Deli waiting to see the taping of Trump or Monkey. I walk by, a guy sees me and says, "Bob Borden" I'm a little embarrassed because people don't know who the heck I am anymore but I was also thinking, 'Yes, that's right, I just got recognized.' Immediately after he said my name, in a more excited, louder tone, he yelled, "MIKE McINTEE!" I put my head down, kept walking and said to myself, 'Damn.' Mike with friends Check out Mike's Wahoo Gazette, he's the voice of Late Show and a heck of a nice guy - the Late Show link is on my 'links' page. I'm going to have another contest this week but I have to think of something cool. My boss, Eric, suggested I have people draw me. But I think that'd be too hard, you'd have to draw me, then scan the photo and so on. I'll think of something. That's all I'm going to do today. It's hump day, got to get over the HUMP and on to that sweet, sweet weekend. Have a great day. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 6-22-04 I wish there was some 'in case of emergency; break glass' device to break when I know in my heart of hearts that today's diary is going to suck eggs. But, there isn't. So, we have to suffer through this together. I don't know how much you're into video games, I grew up on them and to this day, enjoy them very much. I made the switch recently from Gamecube to X-box. The price went to $149 for x-box and I could still sell my Gamecube for some nice coin. The only reason I made the switch, this late in those systems lives is because of one game: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. GTA: Vice City The game is like crack. You get to drive around in fast cars, kill stuff and jump things, like they did in say, The Dukes of Hazzard. It's really well done. I'm still thinking about upgrading my car in real life. Nothing crazy, just a nice, used one that wasn't built in the 80's -- I'm talking about a '99 or even a '00. I know that the longer I hold on to the Jeep, the longer I risk major repair. I've been thinking about a New VW Beetle but my friend Lauren told me it's a chick car. Is that true? I've always wanted an old-school bug but because it's a stick, it's small and doesn't have A/C - that was never an option. But the New Beetle's are cool, right? Chick car? I did a good deed last night. Well, I'd say half-good deed and half for myself. Two women were walking up the stairs and having a hard time with their large suitcases, they were also blocking the way for everyone else. Without thinking, I asked the guy behind me to grab one suitcase and I'd grab the other. They weren't that heavy, I think they were milking it, ha ha. So that's something, right? If I wouldn't have stepped in, I'd still be at the bus station. When I got off the bus I stopped in the old lottery store and bought some tickets and the lotto guy treated me to a joke: "God granted a man one wish and that man wished for all the money he could handle. Now that man works as a bank teller" I looked at him and said, ah, ironic. Ha ha. I had a fun exchange with an employee at the A & P this past weekend. She asked me about the weather and I told her it's finally cooling off. She told me how crazy humid it was Friday night and my response to that was, (In a somewhat loud voice) "It's too hot to sleep!" Ha ha, I made her laugh with that one. That's it for me! VW Beetle, chick car? Let me know on my messageboard. Sincerely, Bob This diary didn't turn out so bad after all. 6-21-04 Friday night I stopped off at my favorite Mexican place to pick up some dinner. I talked to my friend Paula about this and she told me a fajita is some-what healthy. But when I ordered, I forgot 'fajita' and told the guy - quesadilla. I realized my mistake when I saw the guy dipping the things into the sauce. It was an honest mistake, a very tasty, honest mistake. What the hell! I can't have a quesada if I want one?! You don't own me, you read this diary and you think you're part of my life, well, YOU'RE NOT!!! Internet Acting, thank you, thank you very much. Speaking of 'not being part of my life' - time to announce the results of my weekend contest: BE PART OF BOB'S WEEKEND! I brought my coins to the Coin-star machine and they came to a total of exactly $70. Congratulations to Shawninseattle who came the closest, without going over, with his guess of $57.95! He wins a slightly-used DVD of one of 1998's break-out films: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels Glenn Kenny of Premiere magazine calls it, "Hysterically funny from start to finish" - What more could you ask for? People really win on bobborden.com - Tell your friends! Saturday I woke up around 10 and played video games. I was starting to get hooked, then told myself I have to get out of the old apartment. I'm glad I tell myself that. I took my laundry over to Jersey City. They have a nice little plaza over there, the A & P is close by, so I could do everything in one trip. While my clothes were in the wash, I walked next door to Pier 1 Imports. I like those stores. I've been thinking about buying an armoire recently, you know, so I can keep all my crap in one place. I was walking around, looking at stuff and couldn't figure out how I'd get such a big item home. Not to mention if I really wanted to spend $500, $600. I headed home with clean laundry and food. I walked in the door, it was so humid, long story short, I put my A/C in the window. I couldn't take it anymore. That cold air felt great! I cooked up a steak for dinner, can't remember what I watched and called it a night. Sunday I woke up around nine. I didn't have any plans, so I got in the car and drove around. I went to Best Buy, nothing there. Then I drove to another Pier 1 Imports, I came dangerously close to making a purchase. I liked this one: You put your stuff in this But I thought to myself, do I really need it? The answer was no. But I do like it. But I don't need it. I drove away, armoire-less. I drove back to Hoboken, parked the Jeep and went for a walk. I was thinking, maybe I should sell that Jeep before something bad happens, it's running well but I always feel like I'm miles away from a $500 (or worse) dollar repair. Anyway, I walked around Hoboken, went in a few more stores and didn't buy anything. I walked home, looked at my TV to see if it would fit in a Pier 1 Imports armoire - I don't think it would. My TV's a heavy sum bitch. I cooked up a tuna steak and some soup for dinner. I cleaned my apartment, watched some TV and that was, how you say, my weekend. That's it! Have a great day. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob Note to self: Possible title for the film about my life: "Accidental Quesadilla" Botton-of-the-Page Bonus A & P story: While walking down the rice and soup aisle, I overheard, how can I say this and be politically correct, I overhead two gentlemen, two gentlemen shopping together, if you know what I mean, *wink wink*, OKAY, two gay guys! Anyway, one guy said to the other, "I just love couscous" - I thought that was funny. 6-18-04 Hello weekend. I wonder if I can pump this diary out in ten minutes? I'd sure like some time to relax on my sofa. Man, the humidity is too much right now. I'm shocked that I haven't put my air conditioner in - it's June 18th! I'm very proud of myself for enjoying -- uncomfortable living? I think I have to rethink this. I think Midnight Oil should be a bigger band. They've had their fair share of hits, don't get me wrong, I just think they should be bigger. I was listening to them last night on the bus and that thought just hit me. Midnight Oil Good music. Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: BE PART OF BOB'S WEEKEND! Here's how to play, in a second, I'm going to show you a fish bowl of change. At some point this weekend, I'm going to take that jar to a Coin-star machine to get it counted. BE PART OF BOB'S WEEKEND and try to guess the correct amount of change. Can you guess how much change is in this jar? The person that comes closest, will win a prize. I don't know what kind of prize yet but something cool. You have until Sunday night (9 PM E.S.T.) to take a guess on my message board. And please, you only get one guess. Good luck! And that's how you can: BE PART OF BOB'S WEEKEND! Tell your friends. Well, this diary is taking a lot longer than ten minutes to write. It's hard to photograph a fishbowl of change, who knew? I think my health is back to normal, It has been for a week but I just have a feeling that I'm cool. And I found out yesterday that my health care plan is picking up the tab on this one, SWEET! Now I can buy that solid-gold paperweight I've had my eye on. The good thing that came out of this is that I'm watching what I eat. I haven't had anything crazy this week. Crazy like, eating a jar of Pringles in one sitting. Oh Sweet Pringles, houst thou miss thee! Ha ha. So, I'm thankful for that. Does it say anything about me that I'd rather see 'Dodgeball' than 'Fahrenheit 9/11' this weekend? What can I say, I like a good dodgeball picture. And with that, I bid thee farewell until Monday. Have a great one! Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 6-17-04 I'm sitting at my desk but before I sat down, I turned my fan to face the back of my chair. I learned my lesson from yesterday's sticky-diary writing. But here's the thing; I have my headphones on and the wind from the fan is buzzing around my ears like I'm driving in a convertible. Now that I think about it, it's kind of a nice feeling - I've never had a convertible. As if that's not enough, and I didn't make this next part up, Bob Seger's Against the Wind is playing in my headphones as part of a shuffle-play mix. How crazy is that?! Exactly. Here at Late Show when an intern moves on to bigger and better things, we wish them well and I usually forget their names in about a month. I'm not being rude, just honest. But there's one intern that I won't soon forget and his name Matt. I won't forget him because he does cool/odd things like this: How cool is this? I love that! Thanks a lot Matt! That means a lot to me. Matt's doing it right, telling his friends - spreading the word of bobborden.com. Have you told your friends about bobborden.com today? If everyone sent out one of those mass-e-mail mailings with this message: "Hey 'Jimmy', You should really check out bobborden.com -- it's a cool site and Bob seems like a nice guy." -- That's it! And BANG, I'll all over the internet, like a rash. I need to get rich off of this site because what I've been doing in real life ain't paying the bills, ha ha. And then there's the intern we have now, Kevin. He's a nice guy and a great worker but yesterday, in a casual conversation, he told me that his Dodge Stratus was blown up by a pipe bomb! He wasn't kidding either. And he's not an "exchange intern" from Beirut, the kid's from Chicago! I have to say, had I know that, I never would have hired him - his desk is right next to mine! He could be a marked man for all I know. Hard to run from a pipe bomb. Today's Photo of the Day may look similar to yesterday's but it's not. Today's photo is from the New York Metro free paper, it's another view of the shot Walter took yesterday -- it's a picture of a picture, if you will. Looking at them back to back, it's interesting. And Walter's in it! He's on the right, wearing the blue shirt. Thanks again Walter. That's it! Have a great day and TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Always, Bob 6-16-04 It's too hot to sleep. Sweet Lord, I'm not sure if all this humidity is normal so early in the season but Lord, please, stop it. I have yet to install my air conditioner in my apartment. I was talking to my friend Walter about this and he hasn't put his in either. We're having an unofficial contest to see who can hold out the longest. It's your typical dumb-guy contest. I'll be sitting on my fat butt come August, naked, sweating through the sofa cushions, "Did I win yet?". There's an image for you, I apologize to your brain, ha ha. I had a dirty-old-man moment on the bus last night. I looked down the aisle and saw this: Wow I felt like such a pervert for taking that photo but I thought it was a good visual. A long, stagnant row of seats with an oasis, if you will, at the end. Maybe I am a pervert, ah, who cares. I also took a photo of a gum wrapper on that bus ride, so what's that tell ya? SCTV is out on DVD! It's pricey but I think I have to break down and buy it. A lot of late nights were spent watching that show. I'm looking forward to seeing 'Harry, the Guy With The Snake On His Face' again - played by John Candy. Very funny. OK, I'm going to order it right now. And then I'm putting a spending cap on myself as I'm trying to save up for a Hummer. This costs $50,950 - I'm $50,950 away from owning it I'm not really saving up for a Hummer, silly. Did you see Late Show last night? The Beastie Boys put on one heck of a performance. They came out of the subway, walked down 53rd Street, entered the theatre and kicked it - never missing a beat the whole way. Very entertaining. Walter took my Photo of the Day today - thanks Walter, that's pretty cool! I think that's it for me today. I'm sweating because my fan is pointed away from my chair and I don't want to move the chair because then I'll be away from the keyboard. I can't move the fan for that same reason. It's tough being me, sometimes. Have a great day! Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 6-15-04 First day back thought: People are nice! I was greeted with well wishes and good vibes all day, it makes you feel good to know that your friends are in your corner. Mark L (Message board) was at Rupert's and said a very lovely hello and that set the tone for the day. Christina (Also from my board) sent me a copy of Bad News (English Spinal Tap) and Carl's sending me a CD. I can't wait to watch Bad News this weekend! Thanks Christina! Thanks everyone! It was a little hard getting back into the swing of things. Making decisions took longer than normal but I got better as the day went on. I ate well though. Oatmeal for breakfast, salad with chicken for lunch and a steak for dinner. I hope I can keep this up, it ain't easy. I made a rookie bus mistake last night, I forgot to bring my ipod. I had to listen to some broad drone on and on about her weekend plans. HEY SWEETS, RELAX, IT'S ONLY MONDAY! I love the ipod, I'm listening to a song by Cracker right now, it's called Brides of Neptune, very lovely/calming song. Oh SNAP, after that song, it went into Darling Nikki by Prince and then into White Wedding by Billy Idol! Could this be a dream?! In the hospital I remember just waking up at odd hours and there were people doing stuff in my room. Crazy job to have to work while people are sleeping. God bless 'em. That's it for me today. Have a great day! God Bless America, Bob 6-14-04 Well, that was an interesting couple of weeks. Good Lord! But I'm back and everything is back to normal. Bob's back! (File photo) I don't even know where to begin. I did the usual Steubenville-vacation things; Movie with the nephews (Shreck 2, yuk), helped my Mom around the house, basically just chilling out. I washed my mom's car & my car one day and then I started to notice this pain in my stomach. I thought I pulled a muscle or something, no big deal - a few days past and it was getting worse but I still didn't want to get it checked out because I never felt that tightness before, I thought, It has to be a pulled muscle. This started on Wednesday, by Saturday, It felt worse. I got a haircut and said to myself, 'man, I should get this checked out.' But I didn't. Dinner time came around and I ordered Chinese, General Tso's chicken to be exact. But the thought of eating didn't sit well, I was driving back on Sunday, I finally forced myself to get this checked out. I drove to the ER, they x-rayed me and then they admitted me, damn. It could have been my appendix or my intestines. To find out, I'd have to drink a lot of nasty liquid so they could do a cat-scan. The results came back the next morning and the Dr. thought it was a viral infection, that caused the swollen intestines and the partially-closed bowel, yuk. They gave me a bottle of this NASTY stuff to get "things" moving. I almost threw up on my last sip, I even mixed it with Ginger ale, so horrible. Without getting gross, things got back to normal and I was on the road to recovery. I think I picked up the virus from a bad cheesesteak but I can't prove it, isn't that always the way. After going to the can so often, I was looking for someone to sue, ha ha. The good thing that came out of this event is that I'm going to watch what I eat from now on. No more Andy Capp Hot Fries/Pringles binges. It was pretty scary being in that hospital, I don't mind telling you - I don't want to go back. But I'm all better -- onward and upward! I'd like to thank my Mom and family, all the nice people at the hospital, my work friends and everyone for your words of support. That's it! Sincerely your internet friend, Bob Diary Bonus!!! The set up: I was surfing the 'net with my nephew, Lucas. Now I, like the rest of the world, swear when I'm looking at things. Here's the exchange: Bob: "Damn!" Lucas: "The angels don't like it when you swear Uncle Bob" Bob: "Oh." 6-8-04 Partially-obstructed bowel But, I'm OK now. I may have a full diary on Friday but I think it will be more like Monday (6/14/04). See you then, digestion permitting. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob

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