1-31-2002
It's 8 AM and I've already used this phrase once: "Got my mind on my money and my money on my mind." I also use, "Ain't nothing going on but the rent." I love saying stuff like that. Last night I went home and put in some cat time, watched a little TV and talked on the phone. I went to bed early because I wanted to get to work early. I didn't want to deal with traffic two days in a row. It was already getting backed up at 7:30. I started off yesterday's diary with a leftover story from Tuesday's diary. I was asking myself last night why I included a story that didn't have a payoff. Then it hit me, I left something out. At the end of the story I should have said, I was looking to buy Pink Floyd's new greatest hits CD. They had that in stock but it was $22. $22! I only paid $15 for my coffee table! So, that was how the story was supposed to end. It's still not that great, is it? What do you want from me, this is my life! Sometimes I go places / do things and nothing happens to me, cut me some slack! Am I losing my mind, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Internet Acting 2002, thank you, thank you very much. I was walking home last night and I saw a cart/desk sticking out of a dumpster. I was so going to take that and make a computer desk out of it. Then I remembered I don't have any wood working skills or tools. Yes, If I saw something I needed in the trash I'd take it. Stop judging me! You're suffocating me!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH --- That's it! "How's it going Bob?" "Got my mind on my money and my money on my mind, HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" Seriously, I'm OK. Did I mention it's 8 AM? Have a good one. God Bless America.

1-30-2002
I'm going to start off with something new today. Here's something I like to call: Story I forgot to put in yesterday's diary. Here it goes...
I went to the record store "last night" in hopes of finding the greatest hits of Hall & Oates. I saw their Behind the Music and was reminded of their sweet melodies. Anyway, they didn't have it! How can you run a record store and not have that record? OK, so I'm down but not out. I was going to get the Piece of Mind CD by Iron Maiden -- Sold out. I was in there for over an hour and walked out with nothing -- I even looked at the LPs! You know -- I think I forgot that story for a reason, it stinks.
Last night, I had drinks with Bob Bowdon. Two Bobs out on the town, making the scene. We talked about Sports, current events, finance and relationships. Here's how the conversation about relationships went -- I'll be known as Bob #2, this is going to get confusing. Here it goes, remember, the subject is relationships:

Bob #1 "And that's about it. How about you?"
Bob #2 "Ahhhhhhhhhh, hmmmmmmmm, how about that Super Bowl?"

Ha ha, get it...when asked about relationships, I didn't have anything. Ha ha, get it? Oh, sweet Lord, OK, I won't do that again but seriously Lord, come on! I ate a Gyro last night. I knew it was bad, I knew it'd make me feel bad but I had to have it. I'm days away from changing my life and my eating habits. I can't keep doing what I'm doing. Due to heavy traffic this morning, my butt fell asleep on the bus. PHOTO NOT AVAILABLE Ha ha! -- That's it, Have a good one. God Bless America.

1-29-2002
I was in the Hello Deli this morning and I was looking at the bananas and I said to myself, that's just about as perfect as a banana gets. So I got one -- Check it out:

1-28-2002
Hello! My weekend started off Friday night. I went to dinner and a movie with my friends, Walter and "Sally." We saw Gosford Park. I liked it, didn't love it. There were a lot of characters to keep track of and it took forever to get the story moving. The movie experience itself was great. Everybody behaved, no ignorant slobs talking on cell phones. Saturday, I drove to Jersey City and did my laundry. Once I put my loads in I remembered why I haven't been to Jersey City to do laundry in a long, long time. It's just all crazy. Kids everywhere, people doing their laundry for the whole year, people using three carts at once, too much. I went to the A & P after that. I got back home, had a pizza and rearranged my bedroom, again. I finally think I have the optimum arrangement. Saturday night I went over to Bob Bowdon's place. Bob had 20 of his closest friends over. It's funny, I think Bob is the exact opposite of me. He's thin, I'm fat, he loves people, I find it hard to leave my apartment, he owns, I rent --- I could really go on and on. Anyway, we left Bob's place and went to a restaurant. We get there and they gave half of our table to someone else. Half of the party was standing, half sitting down. I was in the half that was standing. I was seconds away from leaving. This girl (sorry, can't remember her name) talked me into staying. I stayed and had a good time. Check it out, here I am at the table:

1-24-2002
It's raining in New York and in my heart. Good day. Last night I was watching TV, I know what a shock! Anyway, there was nothing on so I just said to myself -- rearrange the old bedroom. And that's what I did. I tore everything down and tried to make it more roomy in there. After moving a few things around and not really getting anywhere, I almost gave up and put everything back where I started. But those are loser thoughts and I'm a winner! So, I like how it ended up, the point of this project was to make room for a computer desk. That was my night. I woke up this morning, in my "new" room, I felt like I was in a hotel. A very cheap hotel, ha ha! When I put on my socks this morning I saw and old pair I haven't had on in years. I asked myself, if not now, then when? So, I'm wearing orange socks today. I look like a gay clown. NOTE: BOBBORDEN.COM HAS NOTHING AGAINST GAY CLOWNS. I took a photo of my socks today, check them out:

1-23-2002
Hello. Not much to talk about today. I kept myself as busy as possible at work yesterday, the show isn't taping this week. I was going to try my luck again at the movie theater last night but decided to go home instead. I had some chicken for dinner. I watched a few different DVD's, just skipping around. Mad Max, Easy Rider and Two-lane Blacktop. I like good movies with cars and motorcycles. And as I've said before, Easy Rider is my favorite film. In Mad Max they were driving close to 100 miles an hour! Neat! My nephew Lucas hit a milestone the other day, he lost his first tooth.

Here's Lucas

and here's a close up

1-22-2002
I went to a movie last night with Walter. We saw In The Bedroom. We wanted to see Gosford Park but it was sold out, again. That's what we wanted to see on Sunday. In The Bedroom is a quiet movie. No music to speak of and very little action. It's the true definition of a drama. I liked it but can't really give an honest review. Why? Because the two idiots behind us brought in their own food and they were crumpling bags of chips all night! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! $10 for the movie, $11.75 for popcorn, soda and a hot dog (It was my dinner) and it's ruined by inconsiderate people. I thought of turning around and saying something but I was almost 100% positive that a confrontation would ensue. I can't get into a fight over a movie. There was also a commotion down front because someone was talking on the phone. I want to say that I'm never going to see a movie again but I can't let "reactionary Bob" get the best of me. I am however going to sit in the last row from now on. Why can't movie seats have headphone jacks like in an airplane? *Headphone Jacks in movie theater seats, copyright BobBorden.com* It just seems like a simple solution. I have a theory: people are stupid and it's only going to get worse. I get home, flip through the channels and end up on QVC. Is this my life? I talked on the phone for a bit and then back to QVC. The next thing I knew, it was 5:30 in the am. I fell asleep on the sofa. My feet were up and my body was all contorted. I go to the bathroom, and I get a nose bleed! That took a half an hour to get under control. Well, I guess if you don't have bad days every now and then, you'd never appreciate the good days. Whatever that means. God Bless America.

It's a beautiful world we live in, A sweet romantic place, Beautiful people everywhere, The way they show they care, Makes me want to say It's a beautiful world, It's a beautiful world, It's a beautiful world, For you, for you, for you, It's not for me.

--DEVO

1-21-2002
"Bob Borden, I'd like to introduce you to Bob Bowdon."

Friday night, meeting my friend Sandi and her friends for dinner. You remember the whole story from last week -- I got freaked out by the idea of eating dinner in a new restaurant with new folk and backed out. Then I did the right thing and accepted the invite. So, I get down to where the restaurant is located and I walk two blocks in every direction. I can't find this place! Finally, I had to pull up my skirt and ask a guy, how do I get to Wooster Street? He was cool and sent me in the right direction. I usually get lost the first time I go somewhere new, that's just how it is. I get there, nice place, like something out of a movie or a very good TV show. I sit down, get a beer and the guy next to me, recognized me from the Late Show. This guy also happened to be in the party I was meeting. The pressure was off from that moment on. We sat down and we were in this cool tent. A sheer, gold tent, if you will.

Here's a photo of all of us -- From left to right: Bob, Sandi, Jim, Mindy and the other Bob.

They're all good people. You know when you meet someone new, you either get a good vibe or you get a bad vibe. I got the good vibe. It was funny, Jim, kept speaking in hushed tones because he said he didn't want his conversation to end up on my website. So, I'm not going to say anything about Jim. Except for this: Jim LOVES the Subway!

Oh, I almost forgot, here's 5 photos of me with a belly dancer.
Ha ha! We went back to Hoboken and the other Bob in the party wanted to e-mail me the photos. He didn't have the right wire for the camera so we went back to his place to get it. In the most surreal moment of the night, Bob Borden and Bob Bowdon are driving through Hoboken to pick up a wire. There were a few times throughout the evening where I thought people were talking to me but they were talking to him. I had a fun, fun night and I'm glad I went. Saturday, I drove to Nutley to do my laundry. I heard rumors of snow and while my clothes were drying, it started to come down. I drove to the old A & P because I had a feeling I wasn't going to leave my apartment if the snow kept coming down. I watched a cult classic called The Stunt Man. It was good but not as great as I was lead to believe.

Sunday, I went into the city to see a movie with Walter and "Sally." The movie sold out before we could get tickets! So, we went bowling. Bowling really got expensive! 3 people, 2 games -- $54!! They "get you" with the shoe rental. Renting bowling shoes is equivalent of buying air at the gas station! They keep nickel and diming me! I had a couple of strikes but didn't do that great. I was using a 16 pound ball, I may have thrown out my hip. Walter was the big winner. On the last game I beat out "Sally" by one point! I cleaned my apartment, made some phone calls and that, as they say, was my weekend. New friends, good times and did you see the photos of me and the belly dancer? I'd like to send out birthday wishes to my friend "Chad." Happy Birthday man! That's it! Have a great day. God Bless America!

1-18-2002
The weekend is here! Good news -- I got a reprise for dinner tonight from my friend Sandi. This time I said yes! I'm looking forward to tonight. I worked late last night and when I got home, I just picked up the phone and chatted the night away. I MISS MY COMPUTER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not that bad. I haven't watched one full football game all season but I'm looking forward to the Steelers play. Not sure when they're playing and who they're playing but I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to be the guy that jumps on the bandwagon after the fact.
Here are some phrases I'm going to use on Monday:
Wow, the Rams were unstoppable!
Did you see The Bus, he was unstoppable!
You couldn't stop the Rams' rushing game, it was just unstoppable!

And if anyone responds and I'm forced to reply, that's when I fake a knee injury and hobble away into my land of cooking shows and HGTV. And that ladies and gentlemen, wraps up yet another week in the life of Bob Borden. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you told a friend about BobBorden.com *BobBorden.com, voted best site on the internet* Have a great one. God Bless America!

1-17-2002
Tents and Chairs

I got that computer stuff sorted out, I think. Soon, I'll be able to waste more time online. Man, I miss not having a computer at home, have I mentioned that? Ha ha. In your personal interactions with people, did you ever just mess up? Well, I just messed up. A friend invited me out to dinner with her friends this weekend. Sounds cool, right? Right. Then, I found out that the place was an "out of the ordinary" place. In this restaurant, they have belly dancers and you eat in a tent. Once I factored in the stress meeting new people and eating in a tent, I freaked and backed out. Meeting new people/going out is exactly what I need to do. I don't know if you've noticed in my diary but lately I seem to be in a rut. Anyway, the damage is done, the ship has sailed. I've learned my lesson. I'm sorry, Sandi. By the way I act sometimes, you'd think I grew up under a rock. I'm going to stop beating myself up.

Last night my friend and webmaster Walter called me. He was in the streets of NYC. It seems that somebody threw out a cool leather chair. He was debating if he should take it off the street and needed advice. As we were talking some woman sat down on the chair, right while Walter was standing next to it! So, Walter walked down the block a little. As we were talking the woman's friends joined her. They didn't take the chair -- they turned it on its side, put boxes on it and went into a restaurant. They were hiding it! Walter told me this and asked my advice. I said something like this, "Dude, you want the chair, you were there first, some chick just came by and sat in it! Law of the streets man, if it's on the street, it's fair game -- go, go, go, GO! Call me when you get home!" 18 minutes later, he calls. He said something like, "I just said screw it, I went over to the chair, threw the boxes down and made this loud noise, I didn't care, I took the chair and never looked back. Thanks for the pep talk." I like that story, it has everything. Action, drama, suspense, a whole lot of comedy and two idiots. All this for a chair that was probably used in a photo spread that involved men and oil. You never know, this is New York City. Anyway, I'm glad I could help out a brother. I have to run. Have a good day. God Bless America.

1-16-2002
I was going to go see a movie last night, but at the last second I decided I didn't feel like seeing a movie alone. I went home instead and man, what a great time I had, ha ha. I can't even remember what I watched on the tube. I ended up falling asleep on the sofa, I woke up at 2am. Had no idea where I was. Man, it's cold in NY today. 38 degrees but I have a feeling there's a wind chill factor to contend with. I ordered a "new" computer from a discount place. They have a back log of about 3 days before they can process my order -- no big deal, in fact, thanks for letting me know. I'm shipping the computer to my brother in Ohio so he can tweak it for me. I find out today that the company won't process the order because my credit card address doesn't match the shipping address. That's what's on my mind right now. In fact, I'm cutting it short today so I can work this out. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Bobby needs a computer! Have a good one. God Bless America.

1-15-2002
Remember the arcade games I was trying to load on my old computer all last week? Well, I messed the computer up. So, I'm getting a "new" one. The point of this story is this: I miss my computer! I'm not the type of guy that's on it 24/7 but when there's a break in my crazy life, I like to surf the web. Now, thanks to an old computer with no CD or Disc drives, I have nothing. Last night with nothing on TV, I was forced to make phone calls. I made about 5 phone calls and talked to two people. 2 out of 5, not bad, right? I hate the phone. Sales calls all the freaking time, I just hang up on them because I'm not interested in them hocking their wares to me over the phone. Who does business like that over the phone? I also hang up because it's eight freaking o'clock in the PM! I usually never turn my phone machine off but did last night because I was expecting calls. Lesson learned. I watched a little Jackie Brown, love that movie. A lot of great lines. And that was my evening. It was work as usual yesterday. I was so busy I didn't have time to eat lunch. I like that because it makes the day fly by. That's all I got. I want to give a shout-out to my cousin Nancy, thanks for checking out my site, Happy New Year. OK, I'm out. God Bless America.

1-14-2002
Loser weekend, the weekend of the loser, loser weekend 2002, Oh, Hi -- I'm just trying to figure out the best phrase that describes my weekend. I kind of like Loser Weekend 2002. The "2002" differentiates it from all the other Loser Weekends I've had, I'd hate to confuse my audience. Friday night, I watched Mad Max on DVD. What a sweet flick! Saturday, I woke up around 10:30 and drove to Nutley to do my laundry. After that, you guessed it, I went to the A & P. I made myself a salad, chicken and pasta for dinner. That George Foreman Grill is the best, the best! I put Deliverance in the old DVD player. I'd never seen it before, it was very good. So, up to this point, you're probably thinking, that's not such a bad weekend, right? Well, here's where I felt like I hit rock bottom. 2 am, I have the old Playstation plugged in and I'm playing The Dukes of Hazzard. It hit me in the form of stomach pains how pathetic this is. It was a sign from God. Yes, while playing The Dukes of Hazzard, God gave me stomach pains to point out the sad state my life has become. Either that or I didn't cook my chicken long enough, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Am I going CRAZY???? Sunday was a lot better as I started the day by having brunch with a woman. No, really, I'm serious. My new friend Sandi and I broke bread while reading the wedding announcements in the New York Times, her idea, not mine. The New York Times highlights a couple and tells their story. It was crazy, how wrapped up these people are. That's what made it really, really funny. It also made me angry but like my friend Paula says, "You're like a magazine rack, you have issues." How right she is. After brunch I got a haircut at SuperCuts. The woman cutting me spoke in broken English so I could only understand every other word. My response to every question was usually, "Huh?" Anyway, she cuts a mean head of hair because I look sweet! Right then and there, I vowed never to cut my own hair again. I also set a new goal for myself, a resolution if you will. This year I'm setting one goal. And that goal is to look pretty. That's all anyone cares about, so, I'm going to do it. I'll start my new goal next week. I need to mentally prepare myself for the long road ahead. It's always good to set goals for yourself, remember that kids. You wake up one day, you're 32 and not pretty. Life's a B**ch. The most pointless thing I did yesterday was charge my cell phone. NO ONE CALLS ME!!!! I make calls trying to stay in touch with everyone and what do I get, nothing. I'd terminate my contract but Verizon charges $1500 for such an action. I watched this great Show on Discovery, Motorcycle Mania 2. I loved it. I watched the first one about a year ago and wrote to Jesse James, the guy featured in the show. He wrote back, pretty cool. The guy can make a gas tank out of a piece of metal and a hammer. It just fascinates me, that level of craftsmanship. I also went to Home Depot with my friend Jay. It's open 24hrs a day. "It's 3 am and I need a saber saw!" That must happen a lot. Crazy world, crazy world. That's it! God Bless America.

1-11-2002
It's raining in New York and in my heart. Ha ha, I love saying that. I didn't have luck installing my classic arcade games last night. I need to get the Windows 95 disk because I'm missing some programs or something. I'm not a computer guy but I'm trying to be, Lord knows I'm trying! The weekend is here and I'm going to go crazy. C-R-A-Z-Y!!!!! OK, I'm really not doing anything. I am having brunch with my friend Sandi. That's something. I'm going to get a computer, like a real one. I have all these ideas/songs in my head and I have no way to get them out. A computer will help me out just fine. You know, it's raining, I've been up for the past four nights trying to load up Donkey Kong on an outdated computer and I'm tired. Just plain tired. So, that's it! God Bless America.

1-10-2002
Man, I've got nothing. Let me tell you why -- For the last three nights I've been trying to load up some classic arcade programs on my computer. I've been un zipping this and zipping that, uploading this and downloading that, installing external drives and well, you get the point. Anyway, I still haven't figured it out. I had to put a call in to my brother last night. He's the computer wiz, he told me the way to go and I'm going to try again tonight. All this so I can play Ms. Pac Man in my underwear. After that playing video games in my underwear comment, I'd like to say a special hello to all the ladies checking in today -- Hello ladies!! Ha ha. That's the answer to the question "Why am I single?" I need to get a better computer so I can totally immerse myself in this new computer age. I want to make those Flash Cartoons. BobBorden.com, the cartoon -- Oh how I dream of that. My friend Paula (Paula's Notes) has been sick all week. I'd like to send out a special message to her -- Get well soon sweets! I'm back in the groove at work. Reality's a b**ch sometimes. The reality is, if I don't work, I don't get paid and Bobby needs to get paids!!!!! I got the Mad Max DVD this week. I'm going to watch it this weekend. I love that flick! They've even put in the original Australian dialogue. They dubbed it for us dumb Americans. On the subject of Australian things -- I'm listening to Midnight Oil right now on the old CD player. Man they rock! The first time I ever saw them was in the early 80's on The Thicke of the Night. They sang Read About It. The set was filled with newspapers and the lead singer lit some on fire -- that was cool. They also showed them a lot on USA's Night Flight. That was a cool show --- My brother and I used to stay up for hours watching that. Ah memories. That's it! God Bless America.

1-9-2002
Hello. I still feel like I'm "hungover" from vacation. I'm finding it hard to get back to work. Even my personal life isn't the same. I'm trying to get in touch with several friends to no avail. It will work out in its own time, I guess. For the past two nights, I've been trying to download classic arcade games on my old school computer. Again, no luck. It's driving me nuts! Bobby needs to play a little Bump and Jump to easy his soul. So far, I'm wearing 2002 like a Speedo. In other words, not very well.

Here's the cherry on top -- The following are subject lines of all the e-mails I received last night: "Check this out!, Make More Money, Save 50% Now at Saks Fifth Avenue, Welcome to our online casino!" AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Is this my life? I was thinking about going back to school to become a teacher but I'm afraid I'd scare the children. OK, that's enough. Have a good day. God Bless America.

1-8-2002
Welcome. Today is Tuesday, January the 8th, 2002. Today's forecast for the NY area is Sunny, High around 36F. I woke up this morning to one of my cats sitting on my night-stand. She accidentally knocked my old glasses on the floor. When I picked them up and put them on -- I thought I had vertigo. One lens fell out. I figured that out when I felt for the lens and poked my eye. All this before I even made it into the bathroom! I like my orange shower curtain. However, when the light bounces off of it on to me, I look like I have malaria. A small price to pay for a sassy bathroom. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! That felt good. I didn't do much last night. Made a phone call and played around with the computer. I ended up asleep on my sofa. So this is 2002? That's all I got! Have a great day. God Bless America. I was watching CNN all day yesterday at work -- And here's what I learned -- Don't over analyze everything!!!!! Sometimes things just happen.

"Believe in me because I believe in you"
Billy Corgan

1-7-2002
Happy New Year! I'm not one to make resolutions but there are some things I'd like to accomplish this year. Losing weight comes to mind. I've reached that point that you need to reach. I had a great time in Ohio the past couple weeks, minus the two days that I had to come back to NY to work. I played with my nephews like they were going out of style! I lit some fireworks for them on New Year's Eve. I don't have a woman, so fireworks are the next best thing, ha ha. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Internet Acting 2002, thank you, thank you very much. I spent some quality time with my Mom, that was fun. I spent time with my friends in Steubenville and in Cleveland. That's about it. A lot of little nice moments but nothing huge. Wait, here's something. On my way back to Ohio I was in a white out. Snow came from nowhere and covered everything. I thought about pulling over but there was no where to pull over to. So, I kept going. Thankfully, I made it through. Two days later I heard about a 51 car pile up on route 80. It was caused by, you guessed it, a white out. I was at a different spot on 80 that same day, thank God, because a lot of people didn't make it through. My first time driving my "new" car in snow and it had to be under those conditions, whew! I got back to Hoboken on Saturday and cleaned my apartment. I bought those big bins that everyone's talking about. I sure did load them up with a lot of crap, ha ha. On Sunday, I went on a quest for a shelf that goes behind your toilet. I drove 20 miles before I found a K-Mart. I'm sure there's one around the corner from me but I was in a mood to explore NJ. I drove through a town that could very well have been called, "The Wrong Side of the Tracks." What do you do if your windows are already rolled up? Ha ha. I found the toilet thing, on sale, thank you very much. And I put more of my crap on there. I went to Ikea also. I bought an orange shower curtain and some flourescent light bulbs. I wanted some cinnamon rolls but the line was too long. OK, that's it. Have a great day and all my best for 2002! See ya tomorrow. God Bless America.