2-27-04 Man, I had a great day yesterday! I wrote a little idea that made it on the show. I don't like talking about the show too much on the diary because I don't want to seem like some Hollywood jerk, you know. I'm very humble. BUT, I was reading a magazine a few weeks ago and there was a great photo of Ernest Borgnine by the pool with his Oscar. I said to myself, wow, we should do a Top Ten with him. The next thing I know, I'm standing next to him and his wife in the dressing room: L to R: Bob, Tova & Ernest Borgnine I was so excited to meet him - he was such a cool guy to talk to. Truly a pleasure. And the audience loved him! Darn great night. OK, back to reality. I promised a Viewer's Choice Diary and I'm a man of my word. You asked the questions, I'm going to answer them (Even if they're lame, ha ha). Here we go: What's your favorite flavor of Ramen noodles? Chicken. Fudge or Taffy? Taffy. Best sports car ever? I've always wanted a Porsche 911. I sat in a Corvette a few times and I had to shoehorn my butt in order to get in and out. I'm a bench seat man, ha ha. Best thing about living on the moon? Being weightless. Paper or Plastic? Plastic. Cup or cone? Cone! Regular or decaf? Don't drink coffee. Cats or dogs? Come on! Is this your first day to the old diary? Cats! Audio or Video? Both. I love TV and I love music. Indoors or outdoors? Depends on the mood. Winter seems to be indoors. I do like being outside though. Shower or bath? Shower but only because I don't have a tub. If I had a tub, I get in there probably more than I care to admit. Dream band -- who would be in it? I don't know if it's a dream band but right now, I'd like to see Paul Stanley on Vocals & rhythm guitar, Prince on Lead guitar, Mike Watt on Bass and Tommy Lee on drums. Last book read? I'm a buyer of books but I don't have time to read them. Favorite comfort food? Strawberry ice cream. Have you ever wanted to be someone else? "I never wanted to be anyone else." That's a quote from Easy Rider (My favorite film). That's my answer too. Are you going to see the Mel Gibson film? Yes. Do you have any plants in your apartment? No. Cats + plants = mess. What are your Oscar picks? Lost in Translation across the board. Burrito; chicken or beef? Chicken. Beef is too greasy. Hey, that wasn't so bad after all. Live and learn. That's it! Have a great weekend. All my best, Bob 2-26-04 It's Thursday and I'm in another great mood -- Despite the failure of my viewer's choice diary for Friday. I canceled it do to LAME QUESTIONS, no offense. We'll try her again someday. I'd like to open the diary today with a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: Bob of BobBorden.com Gives You A Million Dollar Idea. Are you ready for two simple words that will change your life FOREVER? Hold on, here we go: Virtual cheese Take it and run with it. Virtual cheese, I love it - it's a can't miss idea. How does it work? Look, I'm not going to hold your hand on this one, this idea writes itself. Oh, by the way, by reading today's diary you agree to give me a cut of the profits, 40% seems fair. That was: Bob of BobBorden.com Gives You A Million Dollar Idea, tell your friends. I just checked my website numbers for the first time in years. I think I'm getting some crazy hits. I had to ask my webmaster, Walter, to crunch the numbers because I can't figure out if a whole buch of people are checking out my site or if it's just some guy hitting the 'refresh' button all day. Developing. I had something else I wanted to talk about today, darn, I'm drawing a blank. The censorship has begun. Clear Channel, the nation's largest radio station chain, has suspended programing of Howard Stern because they say he's too vulgar. He follows the FCC's guidelines of what's decent as far as curse words go but this is something different. He's being judged on what he says. What's 'vulgar' anyway? If you tune into Howard, you pretty much know what you're getting, where's the surprise? People are running scared because of the Janet Jackson thing. I DON'T NEED SOMEONE TELLING ME WHAT TO LISTEN TO AND WHAT TO WATCH!! I thought the Janet Jackson thing was really bad -- but telling people that something is vulgar, pulling it from their stations -- that's really a bad move. Dumb company. Sometimes I really think that I will live to see it all. Crazy world. That's it! Stay beautiful, Bob 2-25-04 'ello L.A.! I'm in a pretty good mood as of this writing. I got home last night and just laid down on my bed. I just let the day exit my body. Sound weird but seriously, what do you care? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I was walking in the subway last night and I saw this re-routing information for the '7' train: Good Luck! Thank Goodness I wasn't riding the '7' train, I'd still be on it! I listen to so much more music now that I have the ipod, man, I love it! I love it I tells ya! I'm very close to filling up my 5 gig. I don't listen to CDs anymore, I have over 1000 songs ready to go at any time! And I like the itunes service. If I really, really want something, I just download it. It's cheaper than buying a CD. CD prices suck. They charge so much! A long time ago I did a thing on my site where I gave people the chance to ask my anything, and I'll respond via a Q & A format -- I believe I called it a viewer's choice diary. So, start asking those questions on my message board (Please keep all questions in the same thread) and Friday will be YOUR DIARY! If I don't get a lot of questions (Which is very possible) I'll just pretend like this paragraph never happened. I'm listening to Bob Seger's Against the Wind right now and I'm reminded of the time I was driving in the car with the nephews and my Mom. The kids said something like, "Why is he running against the wind? This song doesn't make any sense." Oh those damn kids! I have to send that one in to Reader's Digest. If Bobby Seger put out a CD today, I'd be the first guy in line. The guy's a craftsman with words. 'Like a Rock' -- need I say more? Do I have anything else today? No. Wait, have you heard the concert for George Harrison CD yet? That's very good! OK, that's it. Stay beautiful, Bob 2-24-04 I'm thinking about not paying my bills anymore. Not because I don't have the money, I'm just sick of it, you know? Why am I playing their game, it's my life. What are they going to do, sue me? That opening paragraph was just a random thought I had while riding the bus last night. I'm not going stop paying my bills. That's a sign of giving up and I haven't given up, DO YOU HEAR ME? I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP! That second paragraph wasn't really me either, I wrote that after drinking two high caffeine energy drinks. Let's just forget that the first three paragraphs were written for today. I think I may have been writing down my thoughts as they came to me. That's interesting. My brother just wrote to me, he just told me that I should buy instead of renting. I've thought about that before but it's so crazy around here -- $130,000, let's say, in Hoboken will get you a very small basement, if you're lucky. Let me find an ad on the net: $239,900, 1 Bedroom, 1 Bath(s), 619 SqFt Completely renovated kitchen w/granite countertops, mosaic tiles, HW floors, exposed brick walls, high ceilings, bay window. 619 square feet for $239,900 -- I'm in the wrong business or in the wrong town or both. I have to update that last paragraph. I just got off the phone with my friend Tiffany, she's a Realtor and she told me I was wrong. I've always had the mind set that if I buy, that's it, I'm stuck for the next 30 years. But she told me people in Hoboken only stay for 7 years and then they sell. It's crazy but I never thought of any of this before. I may buy a place, you heard it here first. Thanks George and thanks Tiffany. '04 is Bobby's time not to be a sucker, anymore. I just got off the phone with my Mom to tell her my plan and I think she may have had a silent heart attack -- Mom's no good with change. Oh well. I know this isn't much today, blame it on sweeps -- I'm extra busy these days. Here's a photo to make it seem like today's diary is something: Sleepy kitty OK, that was nothing. I mean, I liked it, I always wanted a cat that sleeps on the TV but it probably doesn't mean much to you. That's it! Stay gold, Bob 2-23-04 Friday ='d work. I fell asleep on my sofa three times last week. That's a horrible feeling. Anyway, after work I gave my brother a call. He was in town for some business, he was staying with his friend in the city. We didn't have plans to meet because I wasn't 100% about my schedule. I picked up a burrito for dinner and the next thing I knew I woke up at 2 am to the sound of my phone off the hook. I must have knocked it off. That wasn't a fun way to wake up. Saturday I woke up at 8. I had to bring my car to Sal because I was leaking anti-freeze. He looked it over, did some kind of pressure test, tightened the hose and that was about it. He said I have a small leak but if I watch my fluid level, it's no big deal. That was welcome news! I said how much do I owe you, I'll pay anything, ha ha. He said, "Ten dollars" -- I didn't have $10. I drove to the store, got some change and some cereal. Sal's a good mechanic. Around 11, my brother George, called me up and via cell phone, I directed him to my apartment. He had to hit the road so we just hung out for a little bit. I was still tired from the week and not getting enough sleep. L to R: George, Bob He left around 12 and I got a shower. I walked up the street to do my laundry. I got back to my apartment and I didn't know what to do with myself. I watched some TV, then decided to walk around and get some dinner. Hoboken was really crowded on Saturday. Yuk. I didn't buy anything, except for a chicken tostada for dinner. Saturday night after dinner I decided to go through my website with a fine-tooth comb. I updated my Car and Rap Doll Collection areas of the site. I also changed some "2003" copyrights to 2004. Then I thought, who the hell's going to steal this crap? I also took my e-mail address down from a couple of areas to try and cut back on all the spam I get. The one part of my site that isn't right is the message board, if you try to click on it anywhere but from the home page, it will take you to my old board that doesn't exist anymore. I hate message boards. Sunday I woke up around 9. I watched CBS Sunday Morning and then I got a shower. I drove to the A & P. Then I drove to Best Buy. Then I drove to a strip mall. I walked into a Pier 1 Imports and I said to myself, "Sweet Lord, it smells like a French whore's vagina in here." Not that I know what a French whore smells like but I'd have to guess that it's a cross between wicker and 100's of bad candle scents. I went to all these places and I didn't buy anything. I cut my losses and went home. I cleaned my apartment. I put some time in on my kitchen. I had some items, like cups, that I haven't moved in 8 1/2 years. You know what I always say; clean kitchen, clean mind. Sunday night I had the girls over for my big Sex and the City party. Kidding. You know what I've been watching again, Cops. That's a really good show. And Queer Eye is pretty good too. OK, that's it! Have a great day. All my best, Bob 2-20-04 I was kicking it last night watching an old episode of The Simpsons. "Homer Badman" from 1994. They had a really fast credit roll on some news magazine show they were having fun with, I was curious to see what it said, so with the mighty power of the old tivo, I played it back it slow motion. This is what I saw: They got me! That's pretty darn funny/clever. Good for them. I was forced to spend the rest of the evening thinking what if the TV really is right, what if I don't have a life? Then I looked in the mirror, did my best Fonz impersonation and went to bed. I'm glad the weekend is here. That's all I have to say about that. I finally figured out my DSL problem. It all came down to this: trouble shooting. Can I get a witness?! I had the phone thing split twice and I don't think it liked that. That's a load off. Now it's time for a new segment to bob borden.com, I call it, "Hey Hollywood, This Movie Better Be Good!" Here we go: Hey Hollywood, This Movie Better Be Good! That was "Hey Hollywood, This Movie Better Be Good!" -- Tell Your Friends. I had an Oreo milkshake yesterday -- very tasty. My car goes into the shop tomorrow. I'm hoping this doesn't take a lot out of the old wallet. "SIGH!" That's it! Have a great weekend. Always, Bob 2-19-04 Happy Thursday to one and all. I almost wrote Happy Thanksgiving, ha ha! Oh what the hell, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I had DSL troubles again last night. everything's connected wonderfully but it just wasn't able to make that final push to the internet. I'll call the help line someday when I have time. I do love the speed of it when everything's clicking but when you can't get online when you want to do something -- it makes the blood boil. I'm starting to see a trend in the news lately. The economy is bad, America is in debt, people are losing jobs. I don't believe it, it's just your typical left-wing hype! I'm not making that blanket statement to just fill up a paragraph, I have proof that the economy is as strong as ever: Andy Capp's Hot Fries, still 99 cents! If everything's SO AWFUL, don't you think the prices of our everyday staples; meat, bread, Hot Fries, would rise? Case closed. Keep giving 'em hell Andy Capp! I believe I got a 'D' in economics in college. The customer is always right. OK, time to leave this paragraph. The Mega Millions drawing for this Friday is up to 217 million dollars! Walter, Jay, Tom and myself are IN IT TO WIN IT! We pooled our cash and got 80 chances. I'll split 217 million between 4 people anyday of the week. I think the last time the jackpot got this high I got together another pool and we had about $200 in it. That was too much -- it was a pain in the ass looking through all those tickets. I think that's about it for today. I know it's pretty short but did you see the Photo of the Day on this page?! That doesn't JUST HAPPEN, it takes time. Stay beautiful, Bob Bob quote from Wednesday: "That's too much hummus" 2-18-04 I just spent the last 30 minutes messing around with the old DSL line. It's pretty fickle tonight - very frustrating. The DSL doesn't know it yet but it's getting dangerously close to seeing the bottom on my tires. I haven't had any great life experiences lately so last night on the bus ride home, I took the headphones off and really paid attention to my surroundings. I couldn't believe what I heard -- nothing! The bus was silent. It was filled with people but no one was being a jerk - talking on a cell, having a boring conversation with a friend, etc. But there was one guy. He sat in the back row with me, except instead of sitting forward in a forward seat, he sat sideways! He was 'Mr. Oh, I'm going to sit sideways because I'm so cool, look at me everybody -- the rules of society don't apply!' OK, I'm reaching with that one. Have you heard about the Pepsi itunes Promotion? They affectionately call it, "The Pepsi itunes Promotion" -- very clever Madison Avenue. 1 in 3 bottles of Pepsi products has a free song under the cap - they're giving away 100 million songs! My friend Walter saw this and said I should give it a try. I have my doubts but then again, what the hell -- what will happen if I buy three bottles? Here's the bottles I picked up at the store tonight: (My cats are very curious about this project) I drank three whole bottles of diet Pepsi: Mmmmmmmmm, gassy The results? Holy crap! - I WON! I won 2 out of 3! Thank you 'The Pepsi itunes Promotion.' Does anyone know if SuperTramp has done anything recently? I was going to put a nice bow on this project by actually choosing two songs but with my DSL line, it'd take me three days to download. Join me tomorrow when I'll have my annual 'regular Slim Jim' vs. super-Slim Jim' shoot out! Tell your friends! I think 'regular Slim' has a shot this year. Stay beautiful, Bob DIARY UPDATE: Bob finally figured out that he had to restart his computer to get his DSL working again. He was able to download two free songs: The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony and Peaches' F**k the Pain Away. Sweet dreams. 2-17-04 Something happened to me last night that I don't think has ever happened before. I was on the phone talking to a friend and I heard this weird beeping sound. Someone was calling me while i was talking to someone else. My call waiting works! That was quite the treat. I felt like a high-powered Hollywood type, balancing two phone calls. I had a funny/pathetic moment from Sunday that I forgot to talk about yesterday. I was getting my jacket because I was going to walk around Hoboken. I reached for the jacket and caught myself in the mirror, I hate when that happens. Usually because I forget how big I actually am but this time I noticed what I was wearing. Take a look, I took a photo of myself: Hello ladies (No, I really mean it, hello -- HELLO!) Sweet Lord, what was I thinking?! I'm trying to go back in time and figure out the exact moment where I gave up on myself. Although, Sunday is a rough spot in the clothing line up. You don't really want to wear something that would look good for work. Also, It was cold outside. But does dressing in layers mean looking like a hobo? In order for this look to work, I think I need to be riding a tractor somewhere in the midwest. Yet another thing for me to think about in '04. Having said that, if you're a woman living in the tri-state area and you'd describe what I'm wearing as 'cool' - drop me a line, we have a lot to talk about. That's it! Always, Bob Tell 'em you read it at bobborden.com! 2-16-04 I didn't have a wonderful weekend, I'm sure no one will check out my diary today due to the three-day weekend - so, between you and me, I'm not going to kill myself on today's diary. I have another visual representation of my weekend: Mama Celeste, say it ain't so I bought that on Valentine's Day. Sucks to be alone on a day where your not supposed to be alone. Friday night the plan was to meet up with my friend Tiffany for dinner. I went home to get a quick shower, then I was to call so we could meet up somewhere, but when I called her, she was still at work. Not a big deal, I can wait. Then I get a call and she can't find a parking spot. It was around 8:30, I was hungry and the parking wasn't looking good. I figured I wouldn't be breaking bread until 9:30/10. So I said we should just go our separate ways. I probably should have been a little more relaxed but I wasn't. Instead, I enjoyed a lovely chicken tostada with my cats. Saturday I woke up around 11. I walked up to the laundry around 1:00 and did a few loads. I brought my ipod with me. I really liked being in my own world listening to The Allman Brothers and Lynyrd Skynyrd. I walked my clothes back and left again to drive to the A & P. I got to the store and noticed, again, anti-freeze coming from my radiator. Turns out, last weekend wasn't a fluke. I bought some food: steak, salmon, couscous, lettuce, corn chips, the afore-mentioned pizza, root beer, cat food, mint chip ice cream and a Kit Kat bar. I stopped off at Sal's on the way home and told him about the latest car problem. I said it leaks when I turn the engine off. He said, "Don't turn your engine off." Thanks Sal. I'm bringing it in next weekend. Poor car. Who would have thought that a 1982 Jeep would have so many problems, ha ha. Saturday night I watched TRON. I don't think I ever saw the whole thing. I saw it on vacation when it first came out, I didn't know what the hell was going on and my Dad fell asleep, ha ha. I liked it, very sharp style for the early 80's. Sunday I woke up at 10. I had some Corn Pops while I watched my Sunday morning programs. Remember when they were called Sugar Corn Pops? Those were the good old days. I didn't have any plans and I really didn't want to risk driving my car around. So, I walked up to the record store to trade in some CDs. I took that money and purchased a little mini amp and a guitar tuner. These are really cool The little Fender mini amp is like a toy but it really works. It's perfect for apartment living. The guy at the guitar store (guitarbar.com) said that he's even recorded with one. On my way home, I bought some candles at the candle store. I got back to the apartment, cleaned up and that was about it for the weekend. Happy President's Day! You know, today's diary wasn't bad. All my best, Bob Tell your friends! 2-13-04 I just spent way too much time on the photos for today's diary. It's a constant balancing act. The photos aren't even that great. Now the diary's going to suffer because I'm tired and don't have anything to write about. Are you ready for Valentine's Day? I have BIG plans for Saturday night. I'm just kidding, I got nothing but I'm fine with that. I'm alone 99.9% of the year, it will take more than some made-up holiday to get me down. So, having said that -- check this out: Happy Valentine's Day! I'm going to cut it real short today, get some living in this weekend and I'll have a lot more next week. Have a great weekend! All my best, Bob Laziest Bob moment from this week: I was taking my trash out Tuesday morning and my building's trash can was on its side, in the street. Rather than pick up the can and throw out my trash, I decided to just throw my garbage in a neighbor's trash can. Tell your friends. 2-12-04 My photo of the day is my good friend Tim from Ohio. He's a State Trooper and a hell of a nice guy. He made the paper the other day because he's promoting proper child safety seat installation. Back in High School, I was "too cool" to wear a seat belt and he swore to me that if I EVER drove past him unbuckled, he'd write me up. I believed him and have been wearing the belt ever since. Damn good friend. Sorry the photo's so bad but I took a photo of a photo. Garbage in, garbage out. A scanner would be a good investment someday for bobborden.com. I was walking through the bus station yesterday and saw that no one won the lottery. I didn't even get to check out my tickets! That's happened to me before. I had it all planned out too. Go to work, check my numbers and figure out who I can buy and sell -- ha ha. Just kidding, sort of -- I did win $5 on mega millions and pick 6. That pick 6 is a sweet deal. Pick 6 numbers out of, well, six -- ah, nevermind. I find myself with nothing to talk about today. I've been working more and that doesn't leave much time for something interesting to happen in the real world. I did do something funny last night. I was walking home and ahead of me I could see a girl doing something by a park bench. As I walked closer, I could see that she had a crazy amount of packages that she was trying to organize/juggle for her walk home. She knew she was pushing the limits of what one person could carry. I got to the bench as she was loading up her last bag and I waited because I thought something was going to fall. She saw me, laughed (Because she knew she was pushing her luck too) and thanked me. But she made it without my help. I'm sure those packages made someone very happy. I don't know what that last sentence means. I was just trying to put a bow on this paragraph. They can't all be winners. OK, that's it! Have a great day. Stay beautiful, Bob Bob Borden unexplained quote from yesterday: "I was eating bread!" 2-11-04 I woke up wonderfully Tuesday morning, I could hear a dove cooing, the sun was beaming in, all was right with the world. Then, I felt something a little uncomfortable. Turns out, I slept on my headphones and my ipod. I have to be honest, this photo is pretty pointless. Sometimes Bob just adds them to fill up space. A paragraph, a photo and presto, you're in the middle of the page. Just thought I'd let you in on Bob's little bag o' tricks. OK, back to the lies. So, now I'm thinking, how did I get to sleep with those items under me? Am I THAT big, is my mattress shot -- was I drunk?! It was a confusing way to wake up. I'm happy to report that my headphones and ipod are resting comfortably and are expected to make a full recovery. I have to rethink my listening to music before I hit the sack policy. Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it, People I Need To Call Back, here we go: Tiffany, Tim, The Guy That Does My Taxes and President Bush. That was People I Need To Call Back -- Tell Your Friends! I'm thinking about painting again. I painted in college and I really enjoyed it. Granted, it wasn't worthy of hanging on a wall in your fancy New York galleries but it was fun. '04 is all about tapping into that hidden something that will launch me into greatness. I've tried TV, guitar, acting and the lottery. Maybe this is my calling, my reason for walking the earth. I have to admit, I don't know what I'm talking about today. My good deed from yesterday? A girl on the bus dropped her pills and didn't see them drop. I didn't have time to think, only react. I looked down and said, "Ummm, do you have green pills?" She was very thankful. Then after the fact, I thought maybe I could have been more discreet. I was all excited because I was doing something good and announced to everyone on the bus that this woman dropped her green pills. What if they were "woman pills" -- you know what I'm talking about? I'm not hip to that whole scene. That may be a good deed, the jury's still out. That's it! Have a great day. Forever, Bob PS I did something funny to the ipod photo. Did you click on it to see the bigger photo? I think it's more "geek funny" than anything else. Oh, nevermind. 2-10-04 I'm thinking about getting a paper shredder. I'm so sick of junkmail and bills. I think I'd be less likely to have paper pile up if I had a secure way to get rid of it. When I was a kid I remember watching Real People, they featured a guy who heated his home with junk mail. Even back then I thought the guy was nuts but as I get older, I realize the guy was pretty smart. Just thinking out loud. I watched the Grammy Awards Sunday night. I didn't know who half of the people were. I've hit that age where nothing in music makes sense anymore. I missed Prince play too. So, that's what I thought about that. My cat, Evelyn, just sat down on my keyboard! -- This paragraph was deleted. Thank Goodness I was able to get it back! -- ha ha. You ever think about the company that makes laundry carts for the laundry mat? Have you ever seen a different type of cart? That company must hold the market on carts. Let me do a quick search. Wow, I just found a company that makes laundry carts, rbwire.com. They get over $100 for one cart! Good for them. But then you figure that laundry mats hold on to the carts for a long time. But there's always a new laundry mat opening up. Maybe the shopping cart business is the game to be in? Did you think you'd be reading about laundry carts today? No? Well think again genius. It's interesting to me to see how other people make a wage. I saw a woman on the bus last night. She had pages and pages of what looked to be spreadsheet of some sort. Was she an accountant, a business person -- I was trying to figure it out. I should have asked her. If this was your first visit to bobborden.com, I'm sorry. I just worked yesterday and don't have a lot to say. May I suggest that you checkout yesterday's diary? That was solid. That's it! All my best, Bob 2-09-04 If I had to give you a visual representation of my weekend, it would be this: 34 and I'm still having trouble buttoning up the old shirt I was slightly off the whole weekend. I can't put my finger on it either. Friday night I celebrated Walter's birthday with friends. Walter, "Sally", Suzie, Jay, Tom and myself went to a place called Minado, it's a Japanese Seafood Buffet. It was OK but not great. There was a lot to sample but overall, not my cup of tea. Ever had green tea ice cream? I rest my case. But the fun part was spending time with good friends. I'm glad I went. I wasn't going to go because the first place Walter picked was out of my way. By total chance, he picked another place that was so close to the PATH train, I couldn't not go. Saturday I woke up around 11 and watched Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai. I really like that movie, can you say 'modern classic'? I gathered up my laundry after Ghost Dog, but then got sucked into another movie. If I Should Fall From Grace: The Shane MacGowan Story. Whew, that was a rough one. Demon alcohol and drugs aren't a good combination. I took a few naps and before I knew it, the clock on the wall said 6:00. Laundry was out of the question. I walked up the street to get some food. I ran into Tiffany and I was out of it! I couldn't even talk. I spent all day alone and couldn't function, I think she invited me to dinner with her friends but that wasn't happening -- I wasn't in a mood for people. I picked up a chicken burrito and walked back home. I watched Lost in Translation (another modern classic), darn good movie. I finally got to enjoy it on my terms. Why don't movie theatres have headphone jacks, like airplane seats? Simple idea, right? Are you listening Hollywood?! Sunday I woke up around 9, got a shower, loaded up the laundry and headed to Nutley. But first, I had to stop off at the drug store for a continental breakfast, chocolate milk and a mini-crumb cake. On my way out to the car I noticed radiator fluid, crap. But maybe it wasn't mine? I drove to another spot and sure enough, it was mine. These things used to drive me crazy but now I take it all in stride. If I would have had a pack of matches on me, I would have set the damn thing on fire and walked away. OK, maybe these things still bother me. I decided to do my laundry there, rather than drive. I checked it out and think that my radiator cap wasn't set to let the fluid out into the resovour. I'm not sure but for the rest of the day, there wasn't too much fluid on the ground. I'll keep my eye on it. Then when I took my clothes out of the wash I noticed this: Goodbye Carhartt Loose Fit Jeans, I hardly knew ye Another soldier lost in the war against friction. After laundry I drove to Best Buy, looked, didn't get anything. Then I drove west about 12 miles, decided to turn around when I hit traffic. Got some pizza on my way back. Did some shopping at the A & P and that was it. That was my weekend. Have a great day. Forever, Bob PS Green Tea Ice Cream Tastes Like Green Tea! 2-06-04 I'm really looking forward to the weekend. My plans include: Laundry, going to the A & P and watching the sunrise -- just kidding about the sunrise, I just wrote that so the ladies would think I'm sensitive. Did it work? You tell me. I got Lost in Translation on DVD this week and I'm really looking forward to watching it. I saw it in the theatre but some jerk was laughing at Bill Murray like he was watching Meatballs -- it wasn't THAT kind of film. I wish I had a tub in my apartment. I'd just like to soak and relax, you know? Congratulations to Tom from Minnesota. Tom was the first person to post a message on my message board. He wins the dollar! In an interesting side bar, Tom, was the winner of my 2002 contest, Win Bob's Pomade. Who could forget that one? I can't believe two years have past since I used pomade -- crazy world, crazy world. Anyone know anything about the film, 21 Grams? I was thinking about seeing a good movie this weekend and I thought I heard that it was good. I really enjoyed 28 Days Later and 12 Monkeys -- I'm guessing that movies with numbers in the title have to be good. Jaws 3 not included in that statement -- ha ha ha ha ha ha -- I MADE A JOKE! I stopped by my friend Tiffany's place on my way home last night. I had one lovely glass of wine to take the edge off the week. At one point, I remember asking her if it's cool if I come over and take a bath this weekend - that didn't go over so well. On my walk home I checked my messages and my nephew Lucas gave me a call. I sent him an autographed football for his birthday. Except the autograph is smudged, you can't make it out. I know, great gift but it's a real football! It's a good gift. Anyway, I love getting messages from the kids, that's the best feeling! I love you Luke, have a great day! Happy Birthday Lucas! (file photo) My friend Walter is also having a birthday this weekend. Happy Birthday Walter! (file photo) I probably could have found a better file photo for Walter, oh well. OK, that's it for the birthday wishes and that's it for this week! Have a great weekend! Love, Bob 2-05-04 Besides pornography and music, what good is a high speed internet connection anyway? I'm asking because I'm not sure I'm sold on the whole high speed thing for the home. And I was just kidding about the 'pornography' -- I used that as a GRABBER to get people to read the old diary. Did it work? You decide. I think I'm going to start shooting my TV, you know, like Elvis used to do. I don't have a photo of Elvis shooting his TV. So, here's Johnny Cash giving the finger, classic. TV upsets me now. I know the simple answer is to turn it off but I find that I'm addicted to it. I was in the laundry mat a weekend ago and that E celebrity "stalking" show was on. I'd like to shoot the TV when that thing comes on. But I do have to admit, it was hard to keep my nose in the magazine I was reading. I don't want to watch but I can't help it - It's like crack. Not that I know what that's like but I'm guessing it's pretty bad. And I'm so tired about this whole Janet thing. Remember when singers used to sing? They had great songs, sang live and went on tour. Now it's about shocking the people. It's sad. This is why Ronnie James Dio will always be #1 in my book. The guy's happy singing about dragons and warlocks. He doesn't need to 'moon' America to sell his wares. Don't buy the hype, the chick's got an album coming out, her brother is doing Lord knows what and this is her way of getting back in the public eye. FOX 5 News in New York is THE WORST! I have it on in the background. GARBAGE! 'News' should be in quotes. I'd say that 90% of their broadcast is about some horrible buffet where the cold food is hot and the hot food is cold. Great hidden camera work though. That's all I have today. Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: The First Person To Post A Message On My Message Board Wins A Dollar. Here's how you play: The First Person To Post A Message On My Message Board Wins A Dollar. And that's how you play The First Person To Post A Message On My Message Board Wins A Dollar -- tell your friends. Stay beautiful, Bob Does anybody remember laughter? 2-04-04 It took me forever to get home last night. I was on the subway platform but they rerouted the trains because I think they were working on the track, so I got on another train and had to take the PATH train back to Hoboken. I get to the PATH station just as my train was leaving the station. When you're going home and in "home" mode, that's just kicking a man when he's down. But I put my headphones on and the first song I heard was Derick and the Dominos' Bell Bottom Blues -- that's what I needed -- Layla is such a great record on so many levels. I think I'm going to start hanging out at the train station. That will be my thing. "Hey, where's Bob? -- What are you thinking, he's at the train station." Hoboken has a pretty big train station but I've never spent any time there. Maybe I'll hop on a train this weekend? I hear Newark is lovely this time of year. I remember when I was doing something for the show years ago, I took a train to Washington, D.C. -- I enjoyed that. Gloomy/rainy day yesterday and me without my umbrella. I didn't think it'd get above freezing until June. Mother Nature is a fickle temptress. Lord, I'm tired and I have nothing to talk about. I'm thinking about pitching a show to the WB. It's mostly about my (boring) life but here's the hook: by night, I have underground dance parties. So, It's part reality, part dance party. The working title is Bob's Dance Party. I haven't thought it through 100% but here's something that must be in each episode: I'm watching the people dance in my underground club, then I take off my coat, hand it to the bouncer, take a long pause, and say, "Time to get this Dance Party started" -- Then the bouncer looks at me, nods in agreement, and says, "Yeah" -- and -- SCENE Sweet butter I'm tired. That's it for today. I leave you with a new segment to bobborden.com, I call it; Think About It. Here we go -- Silent-Nail clippers, Think About It. That was bobborden.com's new segment to bobborden.com; Think About It -- Tell Your Friends. Maybe instead of hanging out at the train station, I should live the life of the hobo and ride the rails. Always and forever, Bob 2-03-04 I'm no prude. If you were going to say, a strip club, I'd probably ask if I could come with you. There's a time and a place for everything. I don't think the time or the place should have been the Super Bowl. What could all of those people been thinking?! I missed it at the time because the "artists" were pretty weak. And I'm sorry but that Nelly song came out like five years ago! He's singing it like it was brand new. LAME, LAME, LAME. Maybe next year they'll set someone on fire. "oops" I just saw a weird ad for Quiznos subs. I didn't hear it but it looked like singing rats wearing cowboy hats. The rats were really ugly too. It didn't make me crave a Quiznos sub. But hey, what do I know, I don't work on Madison Avenue. Did you get the chance to read my diary from yesterday? It's a good one if I do say so myself. I won $500 from the football pool! Damn that's some sweet cash. Now with the promotion and more money, I can finally take a wife, ha ha. OK, short one today, you can thank daylight savings time for that (Huh?). Have a great day! Always, Bob 2-02-04 Snoozer Bowl, can I get a witness? I just finished watching the first quarter and I must say, the punting was amazing. Thursday night I had plans to drive up to Mohegan Sun casino with my friend Walter. We drove up after work, like we have so many times before but this time was different because we reserved a room. We got up there around 9, checked in and got some dinner. Big Bubba's BBQ was pretty tasty but it was a pretty generic place. Walter had the ribs and I had the chicken & rib combo. Here's the breakdown of my gambling action: 10:30 to 1:30am I lost all of the money I could afford to lose playing blackjack, $500. 1:30 to 2:00am I played $50 of desperation roulette, lost very quickly. 2:00 to 2:10am Walking back to the room with $20 in my pocket, this is not a good feeling. We walked past the big "sucker" wheel where your odds of hitting are 40 to 1, 10 to 1 and so on. I hit 10 to 1 twice and walked away with $100. 2:10 to 2:30am $100 sure does feel better in the pocket that $20, I said to Walter, 'shouldn't I play another round of blackjack, it is like found money.' Walter in his silence, agreed, that's how I understood it anyway. So, this guy had a table to himself and was about to start a new round, I nicely asked him if I could just play one hand. He, like a big "F"ing turd, said no. That left me with a bad taste for Blackjack. Long story short, Walter and I walk to the slots. I put $20 in a quarter Wheel of Fortune slot machine. On the third pull, playing the highest amount, I hit for 4000 quarters. That's one thousand bucks! Walter had to tell me that four times before I believed him, ha ha. I won back my money plus $500 more! That was it for me, it doesn't get any better than that. Going to the bank Woke up the next morning in our sweet room, what a great feeling knowing that I played all night and actually made some money. Walter didn't do so great so he went back down. I was tempted but didn't go, there was no way I could top the Wheel of Fortune experience. Walter made up most of his losses so it was a good trip all around. Having a room was so great, waking up and getting a shower was HUGE! What a great trip. Friday afternoon I was back to work. And Friday night my weekend began. I just chilled out, I was pretty tired from the night before. Saturday I woke up around 7am to the sounds of an unattended alarm clock, again. I left a note, again. I HATE apartment living -- HATE IT! Around 2 I decided to do my laundry. I drove to Nutley because I needed a change from the urban jungle. On my way, I stopped at Best Buy to buy a humidifier. I couldn't believe they didn't have any. Maybe it's a seasonal item? On my way home I stopped at a Bed, Bath & Beyond (whatever that means) and they had a pretty good humidifier. The darn thing has remote control, how lazy can you get? Saturday night I watched 28 Days Later, oh my is that a great movie! Very spooky. Sunday I woke up around 10 and was on the road by 11. I just wanted to drive and live a normal life. I ended up in Red Bank. I looked around a record store and then drove to A & P in Jersey City. The drive didn't cure my blues, I don't know what it is but living around here is really taking a toll on me. I cleaned my apartment and with my new DSL connection I discovered how easy it is to download songs. itunes is great, too great in fact -- 99 cents a song is cool but it adds up. I bought: They Might Be Giants - The Bells Are Ringing Iggy Pop - I Wanna Be Your Dog (Live) INXS - This Time Fleetwood Mac -- Bleed to Love Her // Silver Springs And The Allman Brothers -- Eat A Peach (Whole Album) That's $15 bucks! But worth every penny, cheaper than buying CDs. I just have to keep it in check. That's it for today. Hey, at Halftime, the Super Bowl doesn't seem so sucky. That's it! Have a great day. Always, Bob THIS JUST IN: The Super Bowl is over and it was darn exciting. So, I'm sitting there after the game wondering what to do next and my friend Pam calls to tell me that I won part of the Super Bowl pool, the big part. 500 "units." I had no idea! The numbers were so odd that I stopped paying attention at Halftime. Man that's great news! It's almost too good to be true. I hope I don't get run over by a bus on my way to the bank.

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