4-30-04 I'm so happy it's Friday! But I won't feel 100% 'free' until I'm on the highway, with work in the rear view mirror. I was watching a movie the other day, The Transporter, it was pretty bad. Some guy that knew how to transport people and items without getting busted, YAWN. Anyway, when he was "transporting" people, he kept them in the trunk of his car, of course. But he was cool about it because he would stop and buy the people something refreshing to drink. -- Yes, he's a transporter but he also has a heart! I was in Rupert's Hello Deli yesterday morning and there was the drink, Orangina, I said to myself, what the hell? Bob likes this stuff Who would have thought an awful film could yield such tasty results? Mmmmm, that stuff's good! Damn product placement. The most over-used phrase in the media yesterday was: 'Wall Street is going gaga over Google' - Is there a better, more professional way to say that without sounding like an idiot? I think so. I'd like to get my news from a reliable source, not The Electric Company! Something else struck me as odd in the news, I saw an entertainment story that may have been news 20 years ago but today, I'm not so sure. The first line in the story is: "Duran Duran is close to signing to Epic Records, sources have told Billboard.com." Thanks for the BREAKING NEWS on Duran Duran. If you hear anything about Poison, by all means, LET US KNOW NOW! I think I'm going to buy a Bentely. I figure I'd be able to drive it for a week before the bank realized they made a terrible, terrible mistake, ha ha. It's a $200,000 dollar car. Can you imagine? Even if I had the money, I wouldn't buy something like that. BTW, there's a good chance I will have that kind of money soon, I played the lottery last night. It's just a matter of time. I think my message board has been down for most of the week. Sorry for the inconvenience. I'd contact them to complain but it's a free service, thus the never-ending pop-up ads, I hate message boards. I just have one so I can stay close to the people, ha ha. That last sentence was a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it; Bob Thinks He's A Celebrity, ha ha. Tell your friends. That's it! Tune in on Monday to see where I'm going this weekend! Always, Bob THE WEEKEND STARTS NOW! 4-29-04 I don't know if AC/DC's Back In Black is the greatest song ever but I bet it's pretty close. I think about stuff like that sometimes. If you ever ask me, 'what are you thinking about?' - odds are, it's about AC/DC, ha ha. Hey, I have a new addition to my bathroom, check it out: Driftwood art My Mom was going to throw this out last weekend, it's your classic driftwood art, complete with the old-school pop tab to hang it on the wall. I like it, look at the seagull, it's fun to figure out where he/she is going, isn't it? Fly little seagull, FLY! That last paragraph was a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it; Bob Goes Insane. Tell your - blah blah blah. The seagull replaced a love/hate relationship I had with my Rocky plate. Rocky - a great film and a great dinner plate I'm giving Rocky a rest for a little while. He's been up on that wall for almost 9 years. Oh sweet Lord, I just realized something, I live like a Chinese prisoner! Rocky plates, seagulls - My sofa is THE WORST! My cats use it as a scratching post. I washed the slip cover in bleach a few years back and had to throw it away. SIGH! If I hit the lotto someday, (and I am going to hit the lotto someday) call the Lazyboy showroom, cause here I come! Maybe I should buy a house first? Why must I make all these decisions!? Vern Yip (BTW, his autograph is in my Stuff section) is leaving Trading Spaces. NBC is giving him his own show, good for him! But it's another home-type show, of course. I'm getting sick of the home fix-it-up shows. I'm also getting sick of the car shows. And I love cars but there's only so many times I can see someone trick out an El Camino. The exception to that is Pimp My Ride, but I think the host, Xzibit, has a lot to do with that. Or as i call him, X to the Z. It's Thursday, this week went by pretty fast. That's my only thought on that. That's all I have for today. Have a great day. All my best, Bob 4-28-04 Hello. I just got a letter from the New Jersey Department of the Treasury. I owe thirty-two hundred bucks! What the heck?! My accountant dropped the ball on that one. That's thirty-two hundred bucks I could have used for something cool, like a hot tub or strippers or a hot tub full of strippers. I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY NEW JERSEY, DO YOU HEAR ME, I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY!!! Wait a second -- It's only thirty-two bucks, oops. I love NEW JERSEY! I had a bittersweet evening last night. My friend Tiffany is moving one town over. I had to stop by to return my keys. She still works here so I'll see her often but still, I don't like change. Here's Tiffany in the middle of a big move: Goodbye Tiffany! That brings the count of good friends in Hoboken, where I could walk over and 'kick it' for a few hours, down to zero. My good friend Jeff moved to LA about 5 or 6 years ago, those were some good times. Sitting on the sofa, no money, drinking beer and playing cards. But I'm not giving up, I'm still meeting new people, that's a good thing. YOU HAVEN'T BEATEN ME YET HOBOKEN, YOU HAVEN'T WON!!! A lot of shouting in today's diary. My nephew Lucas had his first communion this past weekend. Way to go Lucas! My brother George sent me this photo of the gang: Bob's nephews/niece How cute are the kids? I was in Steubenville but couldn't make it because it started at 1:30. That would have put me back in Hoboken around 4 am. Anyway, I love that photo. That was the 'pose nice for daddy' shot. This is the 'do whatever the hell you want' shot: Free-for-all Ha ha! Check out little Max, he doesn't know what the hell to do! Oh, God bless the kids. That's it! Have a great day. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 4-27-04 I discovered something from yesterday; rain makes me sleepy. I like the rain, because you can't see my tears. Also, it gives me an excuse to play Led Zeppelin's The Rain Song. Bob got the Led out I listened to that song five times in a row last night. Such a great song. The only other 'rain' song I enjoy is Guns 'N Roses' November Rain but I can only listen to that in November, of course. I totally forgot about Purple Rain! Sorry Prince, next time it rains you're first on the list. I don't know why I'm thinking of this but years ago there was an English fake band (Think English Spinal Tap) called Bad News. I remember one of the comedians, had a great line that went something like, "Jimmy Page wrote Stairway to Heaven when he was 18, well I was playing it when I was 15, what's that tell you?" Ha ha! I have to get that tape again. I think that was Bad News? When I got my oil changed this weekend, the man who worked on the car came up to me afterwards and told me he really liked my Jeep. That's happened to me more than once and I have to say I like talking to people about it. Mostly because I get to talk about my Dad, God bless him. I'm trying not to be too attached to a pile of nuts and bolts because I know the old thing is going to blow up someday but it's hard to break those memories. Maybe I should start a diary for myself that I don't post on the internet, ha ha. I worked yesterday, not much to talk about on that subject. Hey, if you don't subscribe to Late Show's newsletter, what are you waiting for? It has cool information about Late Show and Late Show staffers. Take this week for example, oops, I'm featured this week, how funny is that? Sign up now and receive Bob's No Peek Oven Stew recipe. Tell your friends! That's it for me, I'm going to bed. Stay beautiful, Bob 4-26-04 Hello. I had an interesting weekend. You know how sometimes I drive to Nutley to do my laundry? I drive that far mostly because it gets me out of the city. Well, this weekend, I drove to Steubenville, Ohio to do my laundry. I'm not kidding. I've had a lot on my mind lately and I knew if I didn't MIX IT UP a little this weekend, I'd make myself crazy. I had Friday off and I was just sitting in my apartment watching TV. I saw myself sitting there until 6, just doing nothing. So, after talking to my brother about my plans, I got off my ass and hit the road around 2 pm. I didn't bring anything, only my dirty clothes, ha ha. I didn't even bring my ipod, I just wanted to enjoy the drive, no distractions. Around 9:30, I said to myself, 'This is a long drive', ha ha. I got home around 10 and talked my Mom into going to the local casino. We had a good time and stayed pretty late. I didn't win anything but the machines let me play, that was good. Saturday I walked to my brother's house to get in some quality time with the nephews/niece. I love those kids! We had lunch, played some games and hit the swing set. I excused myself because I needed to get the oil changed in my car. The place I usually go to closed the door on me, so I went to Wal-Mart. I never used their oil-changing service before but I have to say, it was great! I gave them my car, went inside the store to do some shopping and when the car was ready they announced my name on the loud speaker. I loved it! We had a great dinner that night and I hung out with the kids until their bedtime. They watched Lassie, harmless enough, right? You'd think but then Lassie fell down a well and my niece, Emma, lost it. I felt bad for her but then Lassie was OK. Don't ask me how but Lassie got out of that well. You go Lassie! Sunday I woke up around 9, packed up my stuff, kissed my Mom and hit the road. I stopped to see my friend Tim before I left town. Always good to kick it with him. I wasn't looking forward to driving back. 8 hours on the road, each way, takes a toll. I have to say, Route 80 wasn't kind to me this trip. You'd think two lanes changing into one lane would be easy but for some reason, I was stuck for 45 minutes. Damn traffic jam! But it wasn't all bad, I really enjoy driving. I stop at the truck stops now vs. a plain gas station. I like truck stops, they're interesting places. Do you know they have showers so the truckers can stop and get clean before going back out? I went in one because the rest room was being cleaned and it was pretty nasty. I felt bad for the dude that had to use that one. I wonder if they're all bad? I finally saw one of those cool alternative-fuel vehicles: The power of fudge It's a little boxy but if you can get a car to run on fudge, sure, why not? I got back to Hoboken around 7, went to the store real quick to buy a frozen dinner and that was my weekend. That was something, right? That's it! Have a great day. Always, Bob 4-23-04 Exciting news to start today's diary: I'm changing deodorants. I've been with Dry Idea unscented forever but what have they done for me lately? Exactly, nothing. So, I'm going to try out Crystal Stick. Crystal Stick It's 100% natural mineral salts with no Aluminum Chlorohydrate! Repeat, NO Aluminum Chlorohydrate! Ha ha, I love repeating things. I'm very excited about trying this product. I ran out of Dry Idea on Sunday and switched to some back-up deodorant, with a sport scent. Well, I smelled like a French whore all day. Who needs that?! I'm an unscented man all the way. I called Tiffany after work last night and it timed out perfectly that we were able to grab dinner together. We just talked and talked, I didn't get home until close to 2 AM! At 2, believe it or not, I started my diary. Then, I took a 'quick' break on my sofa. Now, it's 5:33 AM and it's hard to put my thoughts together. I have today off so it's not such a big deal to be up this late/early. I was thinking I'd go into the city and walk around. Or just do something I wouldn't usually do for myself. Always good to take a little 'me' time every now and then. Ha ha, I'm laughing because my whole life is 'me' time. Oh Bob! OK, I'm falling asleep at the keyboard. That's it! Have a great weekend. Stay beautiful, Bob 4-22-04 Hello. Remember in yesterday's diary when I said I was going to do something interesting, so I'd have something to talk about today? Well, that didn't happen. I did call my friend Tiffany after work to see if she wanted to grab some dinner but I think she was still OTJ, on the job. OTJ, I just made that up, it doesn't really work, does it? Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: Bob Shares a Moment From His Day, here we go - 2:45 yesterday - The 1:30 lunch I ate was a distant memory and I was going into that three o'clock slump where everything seems like it's in slow motion. I needed a quick pick-me-up. At that moment, I looked at my desk and saw a Chuckles wrapper under some papers. Chuckles, A jelly candy This is too good to be true, could there possibly be any Chuckles left? After looking around my office for a hidden camera, I lifted the papers and saw that there was one left: THE RED ONE! My favorite! Three o'clock slump - 0; Bob - 1. That was Bob Shares a Moment From His Day - Tell your friends! I was walking down the stairs with a guy in the subway last night. I get off on my platform, he has another flight of stairs to go to reach his train. He's at the top of the stairs, sees his train and while walking down says the following, "S*#T! DAMN! F*%K!" That pretty much says it all. I was laughing and another couple caught the same thing. I even wrote it down after it happened because I didn't want to mess up the succession of words. Ha ha! God Bless that guy, he made my night. I got home, had a slice of pizza and a little soup. The soup was like sucking on a salt lick. I hardly had any - Thank goodness for Fritos, ha ha. Yeah, Fritos are low in salt, ha ha! A lot of products in today's diary. Time for another new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: Mom, I'm Poor And Can't Get You This For Mother's Day but I Would If I Could, here we go: Bob would buy this LCD TV for his Mom in a Second But With a Retail Price of $457.94, It Ain't Going to Happen Sorry Mom. That was, Mom, I'm Poor And Can't Get You This For Mother's Day but I Would If I Could -- Tell your friends, again. I love it when the ipod is on shuffle play and kicks me two to three good songs in a row, it's the little things. That's it! Have a great THURSDAY! Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 4-21-04 Another beautiful day back east. Don't believe me, check out Doppler Radar: Look, it's a map! Bob must not have anything to talk about today. Damn caption guy. Anyway, Isn't technology grand? I wonder if I can find a satellite photo of Hoboken? Wow, I found Hoboken but couldn't steal it - I mean, copy it. The satellite photo webpages have it all worked out, if you want a photo, you have to pay for it. You have to pay for everything these days, have you noticed that? "Does anybody remember laughter!?" Thank you Robert Plant. Simon: "How do you think you're doing?" A.I. contestant: "I feel like I'm gettin' to be me now, this is Jenny's world" Audience goes crazy -- And I question why I work in Television, ha ha. Seriously, Jenny, you go girl! I'd kill for a taste of that sweet American Idol action, ha ha. I saw another 'Drive it like you stole it' bumper sticker last night. I couldn't believe it! I just think it's such a stupid thing to put on your car. I don't mind a good bumper sticker but the 'stole it' stickers are pretty negative. OK, as far as diaries go, this isn't my best, I admit it. I promise I'll do something interesting today. I need to MIX IT UP a bit, Lord knows I need to mix it up. That's it! Sincerely your internet buddy, Bob Correction: In yesterday's 'grammar correction' - I spelled 'grammar' wrong and no, it wasn't a joke. But through the magic of the internet, I just hit a button and POOF! Gone. Tell your friends! 4-20-04 I start today's diary on a sad note; I just lost the Pick 6 Lotto. I had high hopes for a new life but alas, it wasn't meant to be. It's up to 28.5 million in New Jersey, darn. The numbers were pretty bad: 18-19-23-24-26-46 Not a lot to talk about today due to the fantastic weather yesterday. It was such a joy to walk home without a jacket on, finally. It was a long winter back east. Where you live, do you constantly have to hear LOUD scooters drive by your home? Good Lord, it's like there's a chainsaw next to my ears. The kids have been out in full force since the weather broke. Ever heard of quality of life!? Annoying. Hey, here's a pointless photo of a Mister Softee truck: See, I told you it was pointless but you looked anyway. I'd like to make the point that Spring is here because those trucks are out but I see those trucks out all-year long. I don't know who's getting a Mister Softee electro-freeze cone in December but I hear that damn jingle all the time. Oh well. I don't know if you noticed it where you live but when we got our first nice day, every paper and newscast used the following phrase; Spring has Sprung. If you read/heard that and said to yourself, 'hey, that's a clever way to say Spring's here' - well, then you're a moron. Well, I could go on and on but The Swan's coming on and I have to see how these normal-looking people screwed themselves up. At the very least, it makes me feel better about myself and isn't that what TV's all about? And on that note, have a great Tuesday! Always, Bob 4-19-04 Friday, I started my 'day off' by hearing my neighbor's beeping alarm clock at 6:40am. This went on for about an hour. It hasn't happened in a while. I met the guy a few weeks ago, he's a nice guy, so I don't let it get to me. No note necessary, ha ha. I fell asleep again and got up around 9:20. The plan was to go to the DMV to renew my license. I went last week but they were closed because of Good Friday. I got there a little after 10, things have changed. The NJ DMV has put a system in place to prove that you really exist. This new 6-point ID system means you have to have a passport, social security card and proof of address, like a gas bill. If you don't have the right variables of these items, come back tomorrow when you get the right ID, period. I knew this going in and had all my stuff but they were turning people away left and right. They even had someone there to check out your stuff before your number is called. I was sitting there thinking to myself, what kind of anti-American bull s%#t is this? Then I thought, oh, this is so people don't come into our country and blow stuff up anymore. It wasn't that long of a wait and soon enough, the new digital licence was in my hands. It's the most high-tech card I own, 2 photos and a 3rd photo you can only see under UV light! Crazy. I got out of there around 11:30 and had to haul ass to Nutley if I wanted to see Kill Bill Vol 2 at 12:15. Beautiful day! I don't want to over state it but Kill Bill Vol 2 was the greatest film I've ever seen! Ha ha, kidding but it was VERY enjoyable. I like Q (Quentin Tarantino) but his dialogue is SO Q sometimes, I find it distracting. Amazing fighting scenes though. If they would have edited it into one movie, it would have been amazing - vs. one 'ok' film and one 'pretty good' film. Are you listening HOLLYWOOD!? I forgot to mention that on the drive to the DMV the mini van in front of me had a window sticker that read: "Drive like you stole it" -- What the hell is that?! Have some respect for yourself, you know what I'm saying? After the movie I drove to Best Buy and picked up Chappelle's Show season 1. I was walking to the checkout, I should mention that I've been looking to do a good deed lately. My ying and yang has been in the crapper these days. My brother George told me that you don't get unless you give. So on my way to the cashier, I said to myself, I'm going to buy my friend Tiffany a DVD player. She's been there for me all these years, never had a dvd player, so that's a good deed. I got back to Hoboken, let myself into her apartment (we're key buddies) and set it up. Later that night she called and was thrilled. Then I told my brother and he more or less said, "That's nice but it doesn't really count." Damn. After Tiff's, I drove to the A & P to pick up some food. When I got back to my car, a man approached me and asked me if I spoke English. He wanted something from me but what? I've been approached in this parking lot before. I had a bad vibe and just told him, I can't help him. Off he went to some other person. I've helped people before. You need something, just ask, I'm your man but don't try to screw me! That's one reason why I find it SO hard to give around these parts. I've been hit up SO MANY times in this area, I've become immune and a bit cold to the plight of others. But after having said all that, I could just stick a check in the mail to something worthy. Saturday I woke up around 9. I watched TV for a while and then got my laundry together. I walked to the one two blocks away. I'm getting sick of it there - it used to be very clean but it just feels dirty now. Mostly because it is dirty, ha ha. Seriously, would it kill 'em to clean the tops of the machines? I think I'm done there, maybe one more chance but that's it. After laundry I walked up to the main street (Washington Street), it was the first real day of Spring. 70 degrees. And the people were EVERYWHERE. I can barely take people one on one, let alone hordes of them. Hoboken's changed too; the guys all look like low-rent Richie Sambora's and the girls look like bad Britney impersonators. This is Hoboken? I stick out like a turd in a punch bowl. Saturday night they rebroadcast The Apprentice. I already knew who won but it was fun to watch. I wonder if they'll really have that guy do anything for Trump? I like watching Trump on that show, he's such a tool. Sunday, I woke up at 9:40. I was ready to leave the apartment around 1 o'clock. I got a shower, had on nice clothes and was ready to go for a walk or a long drive. Then, The Karate Kid came on - that was it for me. It was on commercial TV too, so that made it a 3-hour event. I was talking to Tiff later and we were making plans to grab some dinner. I said 'sure'. Then she asked me if I wanted to sit outside. I didn't even consider that as an option and trying to make that decision totally shut me down. So we agreed to try again some other day when I had my s#*t together. I picked up a chicken enchilada and then wrote this diary. That was it for the weekend. Have a great day. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 4-16-04 On my walk through the subway last night I was witness to an actual homeless shakedown. It looked like one guy was shaking down another guy for some loot. Or it could have been a homeless intervention. I didn't stop to ask questions. The guy walking ahead of me told the cops what was going on. The cops dealt with by looking at the men and yelling, "Hey!" Problem solved. Time for some bobborden.com shout outs! I want to give a shout out to Shawn. Shawn left a nice message on my board. I also want to thank LadyLiberity (message board) for the tip on buying a condo. And I want to thank Diane for the nice e-mail. The bobborden.com community is alive and well! All I wanted to do last night was go home, sit my fat ass on the sofa and watch The Apprentice. But my Tivo had other ideas. I think there was a scheduling conflict between The Apprentice and Pimp my Ride. Somehow Tivo thought I should see how MTV tricks out a pick-up truck! Damn, Damn, DAMN! I know who won because I just read a blurb about it online. What the F!? Sting sure did look like a psychopath in that Synchronicity II video. I'm watching videos as I write today's diary. I believe they call that multitasking. I wonder what ever happened to that crazy little girl in the Art of Noise video, Close (To The Edit). Holy cow, they're still making records! Who knew? Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it; bobborden.com's Random Quote of the Day. Today's quote is from my good friend Paula. Paula's office is two doors down from mine and I can pretty much see her come and go. Bob and Paula (File photo) Yesterday, she was returning to her office with her dinner. I could hear the bag being opened, the next thing I heard was Paula saying, "THIS IS NOT LOW SODIUM, F*#KERS!" Ha ha, say what you will about Paula but the girl's got moxie! That was bobborden.com's Random Quote of the Day - tell your friends! I have to give one more shout out to my bosses Justin and Eric. They set me up with a lovely day off. Today's that day and I have to tell you, I'm going to get CRAZY! You'll have to check back on Monday to see what I did with my free day. In 'the biz' - that's what's known as a 'teaser'. There's NO WAY you won't be able to not come back on Monday, NO WAY! Did I say that right? Anyway, thanks dudes. By the way, I don't know what your video knowledge is but Van Halen's Pretty Woman video has to be the worst exercise in music promotion ever made. But, having said that, the intro to Pretty woman, Eruption, is still sick! That's it! Have a great weekend. Sincerely your internet Friend, Bob 4-15-04 I was talking to my friend Carl last night via the Instant Message, everybody knows what an Instant Message is, right? Just kidding. Anyway, Carl's across the pond in England and it just hit me, this internet thing is pretty amazing. I'm in the USA, he's in England and we're talking like it's no big deal. The most amazing part to me is that the internet actually works. It's interesting to think about these things. You know who took 'advantage' of the internet from the get go? The porno industry. I just think it's funny that they're the first group, in my opinion, to fully embrace new technology. They were doing things to DVDs before I was even aware that VHS wasn't going to last forever. Recently, a friend of mine had actual sex with a porno DVD - that's how ahead of the curve they are! Yesterday I wrote in my diary about Real Simple magazine. I wrote to them yesterday and actually got a response. Very nice of them to write back. But I was really hoping for a shout out in their magazine. Lesson for the youth: Cross promotion only works when both parties share the love. I have the film Magnolia on in the background. I only mention this because the Tom Cruise roll is SO GREAT! Frank T.J. Mackey I just spent the last few minutes laughing out loud due to that character, or as they say on the 'net, 'LOL', ha ha. As for the rest of that film; I enjoyed it when it came out (1999) but now it just makes me dizzy. I'm looking forward to checking out Kill Bill Vol 2 this weekend. I liked the first one, didn't love it mind you, but it was good. Great animation. I read something that compared Vol 2 to Jackie Brown and I loved Jackie Brown, so there you go. That's enough. Rain is planned again for today - enough! Take that Mother Nature. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob 4-14-04 Bob to bus driver as Bob's paying his fare: "Thank you" Bus driver: "I'm fine how are you?" Bob (confused): "Okay" Hello and welcome to bobborden.com, my name is Bob. Every now and then, it's always good to wipe the slate clean and start over again, you know, to welcome new readers. To learn more about Bob (Me), please check out 'Bob's Bio' on the tool bar. OK, I'm stalling today, I admit it. That bus exchange was solid gold but I need another slice of life story to balance it out. I was hoping that President Bush would have apoligzed for American Idol airing Wednesday due to his speech. But no dice. I fell asleep on my sofa Monday night. I was watching something around 11:30 and then next thing I knew, it was 1am. That's not too bad but I'd rather spend that time in bed. My sofa compared to me is like a child's toy. I bought it from Ikea, AS-IS. I don't think I've ever spent any real amount of money on furniture. My bedroom belonged to my Grandfather. I spent about $130 bucks on my desk, I guess that's the highest I've gone. I got my TV through my friend Jay. All I had to do was get it repaired and it was mine. I wonder when living like a college student will no longer be acceptable to me. If I hit the lotto tonight, I'm buying a house. Not anything huge, just someplace where I can mow the grass and not live on top of one another like some rat in a cage! Did you know that Amazon.com sells Lawnboys? They sell everything. My Grandmother had a Lawnboy - it's a quality mower. Have you ever read the magazine Real Simple? I read it at Tiffany's (Bob's friend) place last month and found it very informative. Now here's the rub, I'm pretty sure it's a woman's magazine. I bought it this past weekend and they have some really great tips on different things. They also have a lot of mascara ads, ha ha. I guess the point of this paragraph is this: I'm not gay but I like reading women's magazines - ha ha! Anyway, to all the ladies out there, check out that magazine, tell me it's not good. I was in Times Square last Thursday night and a cab was blocking traffic. The guy behind the cars was honking his horn to beat the band, it was too much. Everyone was looking at this guy, I looked too and took a photo. Before I show you the photo, keep this in mind; To the rest of the world, Americans get a bum rap, we're too fat, we drive big SUVs, our President is 'whatever' and so on. Picture yourself as a foreigner in Times Square for the first time. Maybe you just has a pleasant experience at Toys R US, maybe America and the American's aren't so bad after all. OK, now take a look at the jerk in traffic honking his horn: American's love their SUV's Ha ha, get it? The guy's in a HUGE SUV making an ass out of himself - he's an actual stereotype! You don't see that everyday. That's it for Wednesday. Sincerely your internet friend, Bob Forecast for the rest of the week back East: WET. 4-13-04 For years and years my ceiling lights have always been a mix of whatever bulb I have had on hand. When a bulb blows, I like to change it right away because the desire to see what I'm doing is important to me, it's the little things. Anyway, last night, I had one blow out in the kitchen, I didn't even know the other bulb was fried too -- I'm down two bulbs. I get my trusty end table, my building doesn't provide a step ladder to change bulbs, climb up there and replace both bulbs with two brand new bulbs, a first. I never remember it being SO BRIGHT! Light bulbs are a good thing I love it! I wondered why I've been so depressed lately, ha ha. I've been living in darkness! Oh Bob. I wish every diary opening could be as strong as that light bulb story, ha ha. You know I've been doing this diary for THREE SOLID YEARS! I'll take a good light bulb story any day of the week. Not a lot happening on the bus these days either. People (jerks!) still talk on their cell phones but that's about it. It was pouring down last night. I guess it has to rain so it wasn't a big deal. I always say, I like the rain because people can't see my tears. Or is that a famous song? Whatever. Reminder to myself for next Easter: Do not spend it alone! Time for a new feature to bobborden.com. I call it: Hey, Can You Untangle My Headphones? Here we go: Hey, Can You Untangle My Headphones? Thank you, that was Hey, Can You Untangle My Headphones? -- Tell your friends. I had something else to talk about today but for the life of me, I can't remember. Couldn't have been that grand. Have the BEST TUESDAY of your lives! Sincerely your friend, Bob 4-12-04 Thursday night Chris and Colleen were in town so we all went out to Virgil's BBQ for a good time. Chris and Colleen used to work/live here until about three months ago, they moved to Nebraska. I really enjoyed hearing about their new life and seeing the thrill in their eyes as they described walking to work and getting groceries. L to R: Bob, Dan, Walter, Tom, Jay Bottom L to R: Chris, Colleen, Lorraine Photo credit: "Sally" Everyone was to meet up the next night but I figured two nights in the big city was pushing it for me. Anyway, it was nice to see you Chris and Colleen, thanks for a fun night. I woke up around 9 Friday and decided to go to the DMV to get my Driver's licence renewed. Turns out, they weren't there due to it being Good Friday, oops. But after thinking about it, they really should have been open, the post office is out there getting it done. Just seems like a double standard. I still have time to get a new license. I drove straight to the A & P and loaded up for an A.B.W. -- All Bob Weekend. Ha ha, I'm just laughing because I just gave a name to doing nothing. So, the rest of Friday was spent playing video games and watching TV. I cooked up some chicken 'taco type' things for dinner, they were pretty good. Those Taco Bell seasoning packets could make dirt taste good. Saturday, I woke up around 10 and hit the sofa. Then around 3, I walked up the street and did my laundry. Saturday night I watched a marathon of Chappelle's Show. Holy crap, that's a funny show. Good for them. I had hamburgers for dinner. Sunday - Easter. I had two lovely offers to spend Easter dinner elsewhere but decided to be alone. Looking back, that may have been a tactical error in judgement. I thought I'd catch up on some shopping. I don't know if you know this but EVERYTHING'S closed on Easter Sunday -- Even Best Buy! I always thought Best Buy as the kind of place that would stay open even if they were on fire, ha ha. The good old A & P was open though, good for me because Friday and Saturday left me with no main courses. They had a lovely Wonder-Roast Chicken with my name on it. That's one tasty bird! I cleaned up my apartment blah blah blah. That's it! Have a great day. Always, Bob 4-08-04 I watched American Idol last night for the first time this season. If it were up to me, I'd vote everyone off that island. But the genius of that show isn't the winner, it's the show itself. The show gets the ratings. I doubt fans of the show are following the careers of Kelly and Clay. Now that I think about it, the real winner is Simon, he makes money from the show and the "Idols" -- smart dude. After a few days of adjustment, I'm down with daylight savings time. I got out early last night and it was still light out - funny how that works, ha ha. Beautiful evening, warmer - just lovely. And the sky, don't get me started on the sky. It's the little things. I was walking by the lotto stand in the bus station and I saw the lotto results before I was able to check my ticket. How many times have I done that?! I hate that! I already had the money spent too. I was going to buy a solid gold car. Speaking of cars, you know what car I'm fascinated with right now? The Toyota Prius. It's one of those fancy hybrid cars everyone's talking about - half gas, half electric. Bob likes the technology of this car It gets 60 miles per gallon on the highway and 51 M.P.G. in the city. Who wouldn't want some of that action? I'm not an environmental freak either, I just like the technology of it. And to give you a miles per gallon example, currently, my Jeep gets 13 M.P.G. - I'm not kidding. Time for a new segment to bobborden.com, I call it - Hey Toyota, Why Not Send Me a Prius?, here we go: I just talked about the Toyota Prius, thus, giving Toyota tons of free word of mouth advertising. Now, any business school worth its salt will tell you that 'word of mouth' advertising is the best. Keeping all that in mind, I ask this - Hey Toyota, Why Not Send Me a Prius?++++++++++++++++ My cat, Evelyn, just typed all those plus signs. It's never easy. That's how we play Hey Toyota, Why Not Send Me a Prius? - Tell your Friends! With any luck, i should be in a Prius by next week - America's great! Inspired by the hit FOX plastic surgery show, The Swan, I'd like to share my own dramatic before and after photos of my own plastic surgery: Before / After Whew, that's a load off! Now I can finally get on with my life. Oh, I like to have fun on the internet. That's it! I'm taking Friday off to play video games -- Have a great weekend/Easter. Down for Whatever, Bob 4-07-04 Two things about the news yesterday. J Lo's mom winning 2.4 million on the slots at The Borgata Casino in Atlantic City. I just have two questions/remarks. 1. Do you think J Lo's Mom is a VIP, I don't know? And 2. Do you think a new casino (They opened up in July 2003) would get any press by having a celebrity's mother hit the big one? Something doesn't smell good in Atlantic City. The other story I thought was odd was Alanis Morissette. At the Juno awards show (Canada), she stripped down to a "naked body suit" to "protest" America's ever-growing censorship. It was just a skit and I don't hold her point against her, Lord knows things are stranger here thanks to Janet - I just want to know, what is it with Alanis and getting naked?! Remember that awful video she had out a few years back? It was by far the most uncomfortable video I've ever seen. No 'thank you' Here's a tip from a regular American Joe to the Canadian pop princess: Keep your clothes on sweets, that stuff doesn't play stateside. My other comment was going to be 'If you don't like the old Red, White and Blue, then go back to Russia, where you came from' but that doesn't make any sense. In other news, I'm fine, thank you very much. I don't have a lot going on right now. My observations on life and people haven't been too strong this week. I wonder why? I need to mix it up a little but sometimes I just feel stuck. For some reason I have my walls up this week. So, I'm going to cut it short again today but before I go i have one more story to talk about. Last week Guns 'N Roses (Axl Rose) announced they have to cancel the Rock In Rio festival due to their guitarist Buckethead quitting. Part of Axl's Press release reads: "During his tenure with the band Buckethead has been inconsistent and erratic in both his behavior and commitment--despite being under contract--creating uncertainty and confusion and making it virtually impossible to move forward with recording, rehearsals and live plans with confidence." My only thought on this is: Buckethead inconsistent and erratic? (Read sarcastically) Noooooooo, OF COURSE HE'S ERRATIC AND INCONSISTENT, HE WEARS A CHICKEN BUCKET ON HIS HEAD!!! OK, that's it! Two disturbing photos today, sorry about that. Stay beautiful, Bob 4-06-04 Well, this daylight savings time thing is really screwing with me. I just feel like everything's an hour off. Man, I have nothing to talk about today. It's cold outside, that surprised me yesterday morning. But is that enough to make a full diary? I'm giving myself the day off. But before I go, here's a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: What Other People Are Doing On Their Websites. Today's excerpt comes from Chuck Norris' website, let's read: "Dear Friends: I was lying in bed a couple of months ago and I started reflecting back to my Martial Arts career as a fighter. I remembered back to 1974, when I decided to retire after six years as the undefeated World Middleweight Karate Champion. I thought that I could defend my title again in 1975 at the age of 35 and win my seventh consecutive year, but then again I could probably lose, so I decided to retire as an undefeated champion. To this day I am considered one of the top fighters of all time. If I had fought and lost, that may not have been the case. Then I began thinking about Walker, Texas Ranger. Fortunately, Walker has been a top rated series for eight years and I thought it could probably have a successful ninth season, but then again maybe not. Anyway that is the reason I am ending Walker, Texas Ranger. I want the series to end as a winner. I know the let down of Walker being over will be very emotionally hard on me, just as it did when I retired as a fighter, but I did not stop doing my Martial Arts when I retired and I will not stop acting when Walker is over. I hope whenever my acting career goes that I will still have your support! As I have always believed, 'When one door closes, a bigger one opens.' God Bless you. Sincerely your friend, Chuck Norris" That was, What Other People Are Doing On Their Websites - Tell your friends! I like the way Chuck signs his letters, 'Sincerely your friend' he just about has everything covered, ha ha. OK, that's it for me -- I'll have something tomorrow. Stay beautiful, I mean - Sincerely your friend, Bob 4-05-04 Friday night I was feeling a little crazy. So, I got a haircut. The guy's cutting my hair and then he tells me, "You know, we have stuff for thinning hair." I wanted to say, 'Come on dude!' but I took a deep breath and listened to his pitch. It wasn't anything medical, just 'volume' type shampoo. No thanks. I got a short cut but now I think I should just buzz it again, like I used to do a few years ago. After that fiasco I called my friend Tiffany to see what she was up to. She didn't have any plans so we got some dinner. We were going to go Indian but it was too crowded, there was a wait to get inside and if you know anything about me, know this: Bobby don't wait. We went to a Thai place instead. We enjoyed our dinners very much. I went home, watched some TV and hit the sack. Saturday all I wanted to do was to sleep in but I woke up at 9. I got on the computer for a bit, then went back to bed until 11 - nice. The plan for the day was laundry. I walked up with my 20-pound bag of dirty clothes and watched the clothes spin. I walked around after that. I thought I'd catch a movie but my choices in Hoboken were Hellboy and Walking Tall -- no thank you. I could have gone into the city but then it just becomes a whole thing. I went to the book store instead. There's a bunch of freeloaders in there, sitting in the chairs, reading the magazines. Just buy the magazine, it's not a library! I ran into my friend Sarah but I didn't eat anything up to that point and I could barely form a sentence. Such is life. I picked up a chicken burrito and honestly just wasted the rest evening. I say wasted because I just didn't do anything. Sunday I woke up at 12 -- Thank you very much daylight savings time! I got a shower and drove to Best Buy. There were a lot of people at the old Best Buy - too many for my enjoyment so I picked up a cheap video game and split. I went to the A & P after that. I cleaned up my apartment, cooked up a steak and that was it for the old weekend. Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: Bob's Household Tips. Here we go: Candle wax stuck to the bottom of your candle holder? No problem, simply place the holder in the freezer for 15 minutes, remove and pry out the wax with a butter knife. That was Bob's Household Tips - Tell your friends! That's it for today. Have a good one. Stay beautiful, Bob 4-02-04 I got on the subway last night and played a fun new game; Who Is That Smell Coming Out Of? It was really bad! What a way to break in my newly restored sense of smell. Bob had a smelly commute Sadly, I really was trying to figure out who was the stinky Pete. I narrowed it down to a guy and a woman. But the woman left and the smell didn't go with her. It's a question for the ages. Hello weekend! I am so going to sleep in on Saturday! That might not sound like a great plan to you but with having a cold for the last few days, that's all I can think about. I'm also going to get a haircut. I know, CRAZY! I want new glasses. I have to save up some funds to make this happen. I'm just sick of this last pair I bought. Sometimes you just know when you got a dud and I got a dud. I've been wearing glasses since the first grade. I had contacts for a little while but they were more trouble than they were worth. I think about that laser eye stuff but I don't trust it just yet. Time for a new feature to bobborden.com. I call it: Bob's Week in Review. Here we go: Week in Review That was Bob's Week in Review - Tell Your Friends! OK, that's all I have for Friday. Have a great weekend! Stay Beautiful, Bob 4-01-04 Health update: I'm getting there. Yesterday morning my sense of taste came back to about 75%. I was so excited, I bought a box of Lucky Charms instead of my usual egg-based breakfast. Those Charms hit the spot! I think I'm going to stop talking about my cold now. OK, one more thing about having a cold. When meeting new people this week, I really enjoyed not shaking hands, instead, I'd say, "sorry, I have a cold" -- Now on one hand, you can say that it's nice that I don't want to give anyone my germs but on the other hand, I really liked not taking that extra formality. Sometimes I can be a real turd, ha ha. Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: CAKE! Here we go: CAKE! That was CAKE! I hope you enjoyed it. I still watch the reruns of Seinfeld, they still make me laugh. I tivo them and watch when there's nothing else on. But for the past two nights, they've played 'Highlights of a Hundred' episodes. It just seems like they're a rip off. When you watch that show, you want to see the whole show! Not a clip reel of wacky Kramer stuff. Am I alone on this? Maybe I watch too much TV. I have hit the diary wall, I don't know what else to talk about today? It's going to rain here until Sunday, is that anything? You know it's daylight savings time already? Yep, April 4th we Spring ahead. Excuse me for a second -- "YAWN!" WAIT, I totally take that 'yawn' back, check this out; daylight savings time is on 04/04/04! How crazy is that?! I thought it was somthing. People have jammed my message boards with great comments about the hit new feature to BobBorden.com. Well, all good things must end. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the last installment of: Great Moments in American Gladiator History! Great moment #98: A contender grapples with Gladiators LACE (left) and ICE (right) in the "Powerball" event I'd like to thank Samuel Goldwyn Television for "providing" me with the slides to make this segment possible - Keep up the great work guys! That was Great Moments in American Gladiator History - Tell Your Friends! That's it for Thursday. Have a great day. All my best, Bob

May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 June 2002 May 2002 April 2002 March 2002 February 2002 January 2002 December 2001 November 2001 October 2001 September 2001 August 2001 July 2001 June 2001 May 2001 April 2001 March 2001 February 2001 January 2001 December 2000 October/November 2000

©2003 bobborden.com