So, I'm walking out of work, it was a long day, as usual for a Monday...I say goodnight to some friends and Lorraine looks at me, looks at our friend Lee and says, "Hey, you're both wearing the same jacket!" The first thought that went through my mind..."Is wearing the same jacket enough to base a whole diary on?"

[L to R]: Bob, Lee
SAME JACKET!!!

Well, there's your answer.

They can't all be winners. Speaking of winners, don't forget to play Mega Millions, tonight's drawing is up to 256 Million! If you win and I reminded you to play, hook me up with a couple of million. If I win, well, I'm sure you'll wish me well.

That's it! Have a great day.

Best,

Bob

Hello. I must apologize for the last couple of entries. I'm not sure what came over me...laziness? Perhaps but the more logical reason is my workspace. I write my diary at home and at the beginning of the year, I changed tables and the change wasn't so comfortable. So since the start of '06, I've been on the decline...quality speaking. But now, I switched tables and I'm back! We're back!

I'm listening to the easy-listening station on Sirius as I write this...Damn good stuff! I'm very relaxed and that's saying something because I just got back from Ikea...more on that later. But first:

Don Knotts 1924-2006

Sad to hear about Don Knotts' passing yesterday. I still watch The Andy Griffith Show...he was a great actor.

The weekend...Friday night I got some dinner and chilled out. I went to bed around 2 AM, woke up around 8 AM. I didn't feel like going back to sleep so I just watched TV. I can't even remember what I watched, funny...such a waste of time. I left my apartment around 4:50 and just made the 5 PM cut off at the laundry mat...the laundry guy shot me a look, ha ha. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a surly laundry guy, ha ha. I was out of there around 6:30. Off to the A & P.

Bob at A & P

I was home by 8 PM. I had a lovely dinner, watched Office Space and turned in around 1 AM.

Sunday I was up at 10 AM. I cleaned the apartment a little, watched some more tube and then decided to go to IKEA.

Bob at Ikea

IKEA, as I've said many times before, is no place to be on a Sunday afternoon. But I needed a cheap TV stand because the thing I've been using ain't working. I've been playing musical tables but what I really need is another table. The people at Ikea might as well have been standing on top of one another - it was THAT crowded. I saw what I wanted inside of 5 minutes and got the HELL out of there! (I don't like crowds)

It took 5 minutes to put it together...I'd compliment the Swedes but the table came from Poland...Ikea is internationally confusing to me.

New TV stand

With the success of Ikea, I'm surprised that they really don't have any competitors. I'd buy a LazyBoy-in-a-box in a second. Are you listening Hollywood?! (That doesn't make any sense)

Time to cook up some dinner...Friday, my friend Paula told me how to cook up a chicken breast, chicken stock, white wine...of course by Sunday I forgot, so, I had to call her for the 411. Anyway, I cooked it up and it was pretty darn good:

Mmmmmmmm

Now here's something they don't tell you in your fancy cooking manuals, when you cook with wine and you only use a cup...there's a almost a bottle left...Hmmmmm. I was feeling pretty good after dinner, ha ha. Wine = perfect Sunday night.

Have you seen Grizzly Man on The Discovery Channel? Wow...amazing.

Have a great week! See ya tomorrow.

Best,

Bob

Taking Friday off too...due to the holiday....ummmm, ahhhhhhhh. Damn sofa.

Back on Monday --

Best,

Bob

Let's pass on the old diary today, I'm going to go to bed early and I didn't have anything to say anyway. So until tomorrow, feel free to enjoy this photo of the open road:

nice

Keep on rockin' in the free world!

Best,

Bob

I just paid my bills and damn if I don't feel broke! I feel it because I really think I am broke, ha ha. Laugh through the pain Bobby, laugh through it. Turns out, gambling in Atlantic City...not the smartest move. Live and learn, that's all I can do.

Anyway -- yesterday was good. After my Pringles epiphany Monday night...I feel different. I walked to work yesterday, granted that's only 10 blocks from the bus station...but in a week, that's 50 blocks! I'll take it anyway I can get it. So, I walked, I had a scrambled egg w/ham for breakfast, a salad for lunch and swordfish for dinner. My snack at night...an orange or perhaps an apple. This HAS to continue, that's what I keep telling myself.

And yes I know you've heard it all before -- I'll keep you posted.

Time for a new feature to bobborden.com, I call it: BOB'S RED STRIPE UPDATE! Regular readers of bb.com will remember my 1-1-06 diary where I tell the story about buying a case of beer when I only really needed a six pack. After almost two months, I've only consumed 6 beers:

Six down,
18 more to go!

At this rate, I won't have 'em gone until October! That was BOB'S RED STRIPE UPDATE! -- Keep the hammer down!

I don't have anything else today. Have a good one.

Best,

Bob

PS I copyrighted the name 'Pringles Epiphany' for my new band -- you steal it, I'll see you in court!

Friday I talked about drinking out of someone's bottle of water. In keeping with this 'gross' theme...would you eat a ham/egg breakfast sandwich that looked like this?

Interesting

Maybe that's your cup of tea but I couldn't eat it. The egg wasn't cooked 100% and the guy put on a crazy amount of ham. As if my physical appearance wasn't enough...I'm getting signs that I really need to change my ways.

My "diet" this year has been tough...I have to be stronger and not so lazy. I did have a nice moment last night. I walked into the corner store, stood in front of the Pringles, as I have SO many times before, and I just said to myself, what are you doing?! I kind of started to tear up...it was very weird...another sign, another sign, another sign.

If losing weight were easy, everybody would be skinny. I think it's all in my mind...I've become dependent on junk food...almost like a smoker needs to smoke. That reminds me, I need to quit smoking too, ha ha. Just kidding.

And I REALLY have to stop sleeping on my sofa! It happened again last night. My sofa is a piece of s#@t! I only bought it because I could carry it up myself. I work so hard/get home so late that I try to stay up as long as I can so I can feel like I have some personal time...time to decompress. But I have to give myself a cut off because sleeping on the sofa, waking up at 3:52 AM, like I did as I write this...has to go.

OK, that's it. No "comments" today...today's diary is for me, not for you. Have a good one -- I'm going to bed!

Best,

Bob

Hello, I hope you had a great weekend. My weekend goes something like this:

Friday I had dinner/drinks with an old friend. I had an amazing time. I don't want to go into too much detail because I just don't want to.

Saturday I loaded up the car and pointed her to Pennsylvania. What's in Pennsylvania, you ask --

Powerball!

Here's something interesting about Pennsylvania that I didn't really think about before I left...IT'S 76 MILES AWAY! But at the time, it seemed like a small price to pay as 346 million was on the table. I bought my tickets in Allentown...In terms of distance, I was only 1302.3 miles away from where the winning ticket was sold (Lincoln, Nebraska). I brought my laundry with me, you know, why not make an afternoon out of it? But in the rural area, laundry mats weren't easy to find. I really looked too, ha ha. So, I headed back and was in Jersey by 4 PM. I did my laundry, went to the A & P and was in for the night. I was so tired that I fell asleep on my sofa.

Bob's sofa wins again

It wasn't so bad, I woke up at 4 AM...I had a hard time falling asleep again, I not sure what time the sofa worked its magic.

I had a lazy Sunday. It was a beautiful day from my window, the sun was wonderful...I get outside and it was freezing! I lost my scarf Friday night...I never realized how much that keep you warm. I found an old scarf when I got home. All is right with the world again.

That's about it for today. Have a great week.

Best,

Bob

I'm back! Carl (message board/friend) hit the nail on the head. He saw that my site wasn't up at the normal time yesterday and guessed that I fell asleep on my sofa. Am I THAT predictable? (Don't answer that)

I was watching the tube, closed my eyes for a second and the next thing I know, it's 6 AM, my TV's still on, the lights are on and I can't find my glasses. After 10 minutes of looking, they were on the back of my sofa and I don't remember putting them there. (Music sting!) This latest sofa incident wasn't so bad, somehow I managed to wake up refreshed.

So, I'm in my office yesterday, or as I call it, the nerve center at the Late Show with David Letterman, I'm working the phone, filing things, dealing with people...the usual. In the middle of all this, our intern...


Thea
(File photo)

Thea walks in and says, "Did I leave my water in here?" I look down at the empty bottle of water I just drank...looked a little closer and saw lipstick around the edge of the bottle! At this point in the story, I have to stress that Thea is a wonderful person, in no way should you think that she's not the salt of the earth. The point is; I don't make a habit of drinking other people's beverages. I've been popping herbal Airborne's like they're Tic-Tacs.

That's all I know today. It's Friday -- Have a great weekend!

Best,

Bob

Damn sofa. I didn't have anything to say anyway.

Have a great day.

Best,

Bob

This Cheney thing is CRAZY. I was thinking yesterday that our Vice President shot a guy...another human being! Crazy world.

They say it's going to be 50 degrees today. I'm kind of happy about it...all this snow is making everything difficult, it's harder to walk, harder to get into the city...we need a good old melt down. But I was thankful for this last storm because I got to wear my new boots!

Bob's new winter boots

I really like them...they're my first new pair in a LONG time where I don't feel like I'm going to slip and kill myself. New boots, it's the little things.

During the blizzard of '06, I also bought a video game to keep me from going stir-crazy...it's called Destroy All Humans.

Destroy All Humans

It's pretty well done. You're an alien that, you guessed it, destroys humans but it has a 50's/Plan 9 From Outer Space vibe. After a tough day in the salt mines, it's somewhat therapeutic to just blow stuff away, ha ha.

Oh man, I just saw a GREAT commercial on TV. ACE Hardware is having a 20% off sale this Saturday but here's the hook -- It's 20% off of whatever's in your bag. They're calling it the 'It's in the Bag' sale -- that's so smart!

Smart.

They do have one restriction: "Power tools and small appliances qualify for a 10% discount." That seems fair. Damn smart idea though.

That's all I know today.

Have a good one --

Bob

F#@K Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. In the biz, that's what's known as a GRABBER. I hope you enjoy your day with your significant other.

My niece and nephew sent me a monkey in the mail last week. That was an odd sentence...It's a project for their class. They sent a flat monkey to family/friends and asked that you take a photo, to show the class where the flat monkey has been. I asked my friend Jay if he'd take my photo with the flat monkey(s) and this is the result:

[L to R]: Flat Monkey, Bob, Flat Monkey

My Mom saw that photo and for some odd reason, loves it! I had to send her one too, ha ha! Such is life. Speaking of art...remember this photo from Friday...

?

Karoline (message board) made a comment that she liked that painting...I did that! It's some famous painting I did in art class, a long, long time ago. Thanks Karoline, you have a keen eye for fine art, ha ha.

I was going to have a little more tonight but I'm unable to post photos. Such is life.

That's it! Have a great day.

Best,

Bob

Friday night, got some dinner, walked home and loaded up the old DVD player. How about the funny/great film, Shaun of the Dead? Man, that's such a good one! I was in the mood to watch movies for some reason, after Shaun of the Dead, I put in 24 Hour Party People -- so good! After that, it was getting late...as I was flipping the channels, I came upon another great one, the Sundance Channel was playing Two-Lane Blacktop! I own that film but it's always nice to see that it's getting some play. I fell asleep on my sofa as the cars were at the drag strip.

Saturday I woke up at 8:30. The talk of the day was the blizzard...I had my doubts. But better to be safe than sorry. Shower/gathered up laundry/out the door. Laundry done/get the ride/go to A & P. It was packed but their selection was still plentiful. In addition to the usual groceries, I decided to put together a worst-case scenario blizzard kit:

Worst-case scenario blizzard kit

Would I need this kit? Only time would tell. Back at the homestead I just chilled out until 4 PM, the first sight of snow. Interesting, but far from a blizzard. I check back at 6 PM, it's wet on the ground...looks like it's missing us. Around 11 PM, there's a snowball fight on my street. At 1:40 AM, I heard thunder. I woke up at 10 AM to this:

26 inches of snow!

Ouch. That was it for me...I wasn't going anywhere. I cracked open a brew and watched Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid -- great movie! I cleaned a little, cooked a steak for dinner, watched some TV...I'm writing this Sunday night at 9:31 PM and I have to say: I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THE F#@K OUT OF HERE! Good Lord! Work can't come fast enough.

OK, that's it. For more information on the blizzard of '06, consult your local clergyman.

Have a great Monday!

Best,

Bob

Friday! The weekend! Time to get crazy! Ah, whatever.

Man do I have a couple of cool things to share with you today! First, a story of honesty, citizenship and pride. Second, a story that will touch your very soul.

To begin, the Lincoln Tunnel was a mess yesterday morning. I was on time (as usual) but being stuck in traffic for an hour didn't help anything...I made it to work with a minute to spare, took care of business and then left the building to get some breakfast. As I was crossing the street to go to the bank, I saw two women walking down Broadway, they were involved in a deep conversation, 'woman A' drops her ipod, doesn't notice and keeps walking. I'm in the middle of the crosswalk when I see this, at first i thought it was a tissue...as soon as I realized it was a valuable ipod, I swooped into action. I ran over, picked up the ipod, ran down Broadway...

reenactment

...And handed it to the woman...she was very happy! After the bad commute, that made my morning.

Story #2 is a follow up to my Atlantic City story from Monday. But like yesterday, I'm going to let someone else tell the tale. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my boss, Justin:

Justin's story

"Bob Borden came into my office Monday morning. He entertained me with stories about how he and his friend Walter cheated death in Atlantic City. They fought loan sharks, crooked pit bosses, hookers with hearts of gold, skanky hookers, and the clever hotel detective.

Apparently Bob and Walter reserved a non-smoking room at the Sands Hotel and Casino. When they got there, they were quickly escorted to their room. From what Bob said, Walter couldn’t wait to un-pack. It was all he talked about. When they got to the room, they were horrified to find they were given an unmade-up room. It was filthy. Sheets everywhere, cigarette butts in the sink, the stink of death in the air. Bob called down to complain. Walter was crying, 'Where am I going to unpack? I can’t unpack here.' The person at the front desk reacted quickly and moved them to a clean non-smoking room. Everything was fine now, but Bob and Walter couldn’t help but feel somehow the weekend was ruined

I felt bad for Bob. The Sands hurt my friends… and they had to pay. So I jumped into action. Remembering my management training, I called the manager of the Sands. Told him the whole story. Told him about the dirty room. Told him about the butts in the sink. Told him about Walter’s disappointment about not being able to unpack. The manager didn’t want any trouble. He had his own problems. He didn’t tell me anything specific but I’ve always been good at guessing things. I think he may have a troubled marriage or some kind of problems at home. Maybe a fear of success. Possibly did a small stay in prison. Anyway, he credited Bob back the $149 he spent on the room. Everyone was happy. I felt good that I could help out my friend in need."

--Thanks Justin...can you believe that?! He got my money back! I love it when a plan comes together.

Astute bobborden.com readers will notice that my 'comments' board is back. Enjoy.

Have a great weekend!

Best,

Bob

You know, I talk about what goes on in my life every day and for the most part, it's solid gold. But occasionally, I hear a story that is SO good, that doesn't involve me, I feel like I wouldn't be doing my job as a blogger if I kept a lid on it. I'm talking to my friend Tom yesterday and...let me get Tom to tell you the story. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

Tom

Tom: "Hello bobborden.com readers...hold on, Bob...why the hell isn't the siren up, this is a WORLD exclusive!"






"OK, that's better...Tuesday night after work, I went downtown to meet a gal for a drink. We're sitting at a little table when suddenly a guy came over, sat down and said, 'I have to talk with you.' Uh, okay. He tells us he's going to a gay club and he would like us to come. We politely decline, but he keeps saying we have to go with him to the gay club. He explains that he's not gay and begins repeatedly asking whether or not I am gay. (Again, I'm there with a woman.) I tell him I'm not, but he doesn't seem to buy it. The woman I was with then informs the guy that we're actually on a date. This really seems to surprise him. Undeterred, he again tries to convince us to join him at the gay club (while maintaining he's not gay). He's bouncing around in his seat and casually mentions he's just done a lot of cocaine (!). He then proceeds to take out some more cocaine and snorts it right there in the bar (!!). My friend excuses herself to go to the ladies' room at which point the cokehead again asks if I'm gay. I tell him once again that I'm straight. He lets this sink in, shakes his head and says, 'I really thought you were gay.'"

Wow, thanks Tom -- very funny! Only in New York...can I get a witness?

That's it! Have a great day.

Tune in tomorrow for a GREAT addition to Monday's Atlantic City story.

Best,

Bob

Recent history of the billboard across the street from my office:

2001/2002:

Jim Carrey's film The Majestic. The movie came and went but the ad stayed up for months and months until...

2004/2005:

Rod Stewart. For two magical nights in the summer of 2004, Rod performed to his fans at Jones Beach. The billboard however, lasted much longer.

So this is how it went, day after day, month after month, year after year...I'd come into work, look out the window, wish Rod a good morning and wonder when they were going to put up something new. My boss (Dave), had a similar experience with the Rod billboard except, he's in a position to do something about it. A call was made...and a few weeks later, the Rod billboard was changed into this:

Cool!

I hope you caught last night's show (Late Show)...the unveiling was pretty touching/funny. Finally, this chapter has closed. Wait a second...now I have to look at Rupert everyday! Damn.

I forgot to wish my nephew Lucas a Happy Birthday on Monday...forgot on my website...I did manage to call him. Hey, speaking of birthdays --

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WALTER!
[L to R]: Guard at the DMZ (South and North Korea) and Walter

I got home last night and watched Glengarry Glen Ross...I just wanted to see the opening scene with Alec Baldwin but I got sucked in. Great film.

That's all I know. I'm turning off the 'comments' on my website for a while. I'm tired of deleting/banning people that don't have the sense to say things that aren't negative. A few ruined it for all -- such is life.

See ya tomorrow --

Best,

Bob

So, I went down to Atlantic City (I know I said I was going to quit gambling) this weekend (wait, this gets worse) on the bus (see, I told you). The thinking between Walter and I (we both have our own cars) is why drive and risk getting in an accident on Friday, let's leave the driving to someone else for once. We knew taking the bus was a bad idea when we were on line. The passengers lined up looked a little rough around the edges, to say the least. I can't go into too much detail but I didn't feel 100% safe.

Bob and Walter on the bus

We got to AC around 6:30, we, smartly, got a room so we wouldn't have to take a 4 AM bus back. We check into the room and it isn't made up. The people before us left that room in such poor shape...by this time we both had some serious questions about the human condition. Walter, calls down, they get us another room right away. We got to the new room, dropped off our stuff and headed down to get some dinner. What could possibly be better than the $9.99 dollar buffet? They make you pay first...smart move. The cups were paper, the plates were about 8 inches and everything had an aftertaste. Never again!

We hit the floor and I lost and I lost and I lost. Couldn't get anything going. Around 1:55 AM, I came up to the room and left a note for Walter (He was playing poker).

The note reads: "Came up at 1:55 to use the men's room/have some water. Still have 2 hundy left...been sitting on it for a while...watching the money wheel -- I'm way down...time for some BJ (blackjack) to get me right!"

Oh, so sad, ha ha! Broke, I got back to the room around 3 AM.

When we got up, our friend Jay called to make sure we were OK...seems another busline headed for the Sands from NYC was in a bad accident. Wow. It would suck to go out like that. We were a few hours away from taking that bus. Anyway, we checked out at 11 AM and decided to have breakfast at...you guessed it, the $9.99 dollar buffet. WE ARE NOT SMART. We talked over our orange drink and mock eggs about all the mistakes we made. We lost a little more before the bus came and before we knew it, we were back in NYC!

The return bus trip was equally as rude and uncomfortable...turns out, the social elite in our society ain't riding Greyhound.

The rest of my weekend was playing catch up. I got home at 4 PM, gathered up my laundry, laid down on the bed for a second...for a second...for a second...and the next thing I knew, it was 8:30. So much for my laundry. I did see Brokeback Mountain that night...it was pretty good. I was surprised.

Sunday I woke up around 8:30 and headed up to the laundry mat, then to the A & P and back home. I could have gone into the city to watch the SuperBowl with Jay, Walter and Tom but after factoring in the ride in/ride back, I decided to stay in my apartment. Such a great game! Ben Roethlisberger was on Late Show yesterday...I was going to try to go down but I figured, I got a nice photo/football last time he was on (last year)...don't push it. But our intern Thea went down and was able to snag an autograph.

Thea with her jersey

Thea's from Pittsburgh so it meant a lot to her...my bosses helped her out, good for them, good for her...she's great.

That about wraps it up for today. If you learned anything from this diary, I hope it was this: DO NOT TAKE THE BUS TO ATLANTIC CITY! Ha ha.

Be real --

Bob

World Champions!

Weekend recap tomorrow -- Congratulations Steelers! What a great (exciting) game!

Best,

Bob

My site was down for the last couple of days...I posted that but you couldn't see it...ha ha! The dang server 'sploded! ...so instead of busting my a** on diaries I wasn't sure you'd ever see...

I watched Broken Flowers instead...I heard mixed reviews from my friends but I really liked it.

[L to R]: Bill Murray, Jim Jarmusch

OK, that's it. Back to full speed on Monday -- GO STEELERS!!!!!!

Best,

Bob

What's on my mind:

This is my favorite internet ad right now:

Cool ad

It's a subscription to a horoscope service...you get the horoscopes via your cell phone. But that's not why I like it...I like it because of that cute little cat. How cute is that?!

I was watching a repeat of The Sopranos last night, Joe Pantoliano (Ralph Cifaretto) had a great line. He was watching Spartacus (Kirk Douglas) and said something like, 'Damn Moltisanti for recommending this film...they didn't have flat tops in ancient Rome!' Very funny.

I've been playing the Pick 4 lotto for the past couple of weeks and have won...nothing. But, I like it, I've come close (one number off) a few times. On the bus ride home last night we passed a truck with these numbers on the back, '4395' -- that's the first 4 numbers of Steubenville's (My hometown) zip code. That's fate with a capital F! I lost but wow, was that an exciting bet.

I signed up for MySpace.com the other day. Myspace is the hip new way to meet people in your area. I'm not hip, so it ain't working for me...I just want to meet a cool woman. Is that asking so much?! My days are numbered on that site.

The perfect soundtrack to my rainy walk home last night was brought to me by the band, Death Cab for Cutie. Horrible name for a band but their music is very good.

Speaking of good bands, my friend Paula turned me on to something new. An early 90's band called Lush. In the early 90's, I was coming off a decade-long haze of heavy metal...so I missed them. They're not a band anymore but that doesn't mean they didn't do some good stuff. I listened to their album Gala last Thursday when I had a couple of beers in me...good music, good feeling.

That's all I know. Be real. Wow, it's February 1st...January went a little too fast.

Best,

Bob