Hello, Hello, Hello. I had a pretty good weekend. Friday night, I didn’t do much. In fact, I can’t remember what I did? That’s odd? Oh my God, I must have been drugged! Ah, I’m just kidding. I think I played some old-school Playstation and flipped through the TV dial.

Now, here’s where all the fun starts happening – Saturday. I woke up around 10:30. There was a water main break earlier in the week and a boil water order was in effect. I woke up thirsty and wasn’t sure if the water was OK to drink. I always say, better safe than sorry, so I opened up the fridge and grabbed a beer. Man, was that a good feeling! I felt like a rock star. Around that time, my friend Walter called up and said, “let’s play some video games.” I thought that was a pretty good idea. A few hours later, I was on my way to Walter and “Sally’s” place.

I usually take the train over to the city but I wasn’t in the mood. I got in my car and drove over. I like driving places; it makes me feel like a human. I didn’t have too much trouble finding a spot. Walter and I played Tony Hawk 3, very spirited game play. Then, Jay called up and said, “Let’s go see 8 mile” and before we knew it, we were on our way to 8 mile.

Walter, “Sally”, Colleen, Jay and

Bob enjoyed 8 mile

And now it’s time for a new feature to BobBorden.com – I call it,
BobBorden.com’s 8-word movie review – here it goes: I have to say, I really enjoyed it. And that was BobBorden.com’s 8-word movie review.

After that, Walter, “Sally” and I went back and played more video games. I have a video game jones right now. Damn video game jones! I drove back to Hoboken around 12:30. At 12:30, the only parking spots are on the other end of town. To my shock and amazement, there was a spot on my block! Unheard of at that hour! I was in the zone!

Sunday, my alarm was set for 7:30, I wanted to get up early, grab hold of the day and make it mine! I woke up around 11. Oh well, the day could still be mine! I headed over to the A & P; I had a date with the Coinstar machine. That machine is the best invention of the 21st century! I had about $78. That’s sweet money! I did some shopping and headed back home to drop off my goods. It was 67 degrees on Sunday; I put some shorts on and drove to Nutley to do my laundry.

I had a perfect laundry experience. There weren’t a lot of people in there — I love that. While my clothes were drying I enjoyed some pizza and watched some football. Very calming. I drove back to Hoboken and I got the best spot on the street! SCORE! It’s the best spot because no one can park in front or behind you.

So, I have $78 burning a hole in my pocket. I’m thinking about upgrading my old Playstation. I’m leaning towards a Game Cube or a PS2. I’m undecided. I took my old system and traded it in for store credit. I had fun looking around the store, I’m not sure why. I was close to buying the Game Cube but I really need to think about it.

I watched a lot of football, The Sopranos, Curb your Enthusiasm and so on.

That’s it! OK, have a great day. God Bless America.

Hello. I hope you enjoyed yesterday’s BobBorden.com Classic diary. I couldn’t believe I slept my night away. I probably should have slept last night as well. I just got home late and watched some TV — kind of boring. But in the same breath, I don’t seem to have the drive to do things anymore. I’m sick of bars, smelly movie theaters and just people in general.

Case in point. I check my mail last night and I got a letter that was insulting.

This is what its come to

It’s addressed to “Our single friend” – What the hell!? Now my mail is mocking me?
I don’t need this. I know I’m single. I get sales calls on my phone machine all the time and now this? Is this the new trend in advertising? What’s next, a telegram addressed to ‘fat ass in Hoboken’?! Why the heck not?! I tired; I should have gone to bed earlier. I’m not making any sense.

I have nothing lined up for this weekend. I think the last thing I need right now is a solitary weekend. I just need to do some stuff and all will be right with the world. Did I mention that as I’m writing this, 1:22 a.m., I’m very tired.

I need new shoes. Maybe I can buy new shoes? I also need to get some new glasses; it’s been a while. I have to say; the glasses I’ve been sporting for the last two years have just been great — Stylish, sexy and comfortable. They’re going to be hard to beat. I had some messed up glasses growing up: red frames, glasses with beveled lenses, square glasses – you name ‘em — I tried ‘em.

OK, that’s all I got. Have a great weekend. God Bless America.

OK, this has never happened before. I got home last night and jumped into bed for a second. Man, with my comforter on there, my bed is like a cocoon. The next thing I knew, I opened up my eyes and it was 1:18 am. I’m in quite the diary spot. Nothing really happened to me yesterday and it’s really too late for me to spend a lot of time on this today. So, enjoy this BobBorden.com CLASSIC DIARY from 7-11-01. 7/11 was a crazy time, pre 9/11, some call it the age of innocence — enjoy this historical look back in time.

It’s official! I’m the proud owner of a 1989 Nissan 240sx coupe. 106,000 miles, power sunroof, windows, mirrors and it has a/c!!!!!!!! The best part of this whole transaction was that I bought it off a nice couple – not a dealer. I love it when you meet someone and right away you know they’re good people. Steve and Lis (pronounced – Liz), thank you very much for a great transaction! Everything just clicked.

Now, here’s the thing that I’m a little worried about, it’s a 5-speed and I can’t drive a 5-speed. So why did I get it? It’s always been a fantasy to be able to shift those gears. I’d watch Steve McQueen shift in Bullitt and say to myself – damn that’s cool. Then the reality set in that I drive a Skylark and then I’d go eat a bag of chips. Walter is going to show me the ropes tonight, I’m eager to learn! If you know of anyone that needs a Skylark for cheap, in the NY/NJ area, drop me a line. Wow, I’m excited! I had my ’89 Skylark since day one. A lot of good times with that ride, college, work, vacations, kicking it on the turnpike. I’m going to miss her. Screw it; I’m going to ask Walter if he’ll drive it off a cliff for me, ha ha. It got me here from Ohio; it’s not that bad.

I went to bed last night reading the owner’s manual. OK, that’s it; I’m too excited to write about anything else today. Be real, have a great day! One more thing, the first song I’m going to play in my new ride is Bob Seger’s Against the Wind.

TV shows I should be watching but I’m not: 24 – end of list. I missed the first season and I just haven’t been able to watch it this season. I have two regular shows to keep up with, The Sopranos and Curb your Enthusiasm – how many new shows can one man watch? I need a Tivo. I watched American Movie instead of 24.

I was busy yesterday adding some new items to the BobBorden.com store. Just added: A lovely holiday ornament, just in time for the holidays. And a Flying Disc – also, just in time for the holidays? They’re both adorned with the classic BobBorden.com logo – buy early, buy often. And coming soon: A BobBorden.com Wall Clock. More information on that when I get it.

Yesterday, I talked about changing the “text” on my cell phone. I changed it from “ready” to “Killyourcell” — I turn it on today and it reads:

Bob’s cell phone

fights back

“Hi asshole” What the heck!?

Is there any type of “AA” program for people addicted to sweets? I tried a mock diet yesterday — I didn’t eat enough throughout the day. Then at night, it was hello crap train! Damn leftover Halloween candy! Damn sugar! Damn Damn Damn!

Somebody buy me a Tivo. If there are any wealthy industrialists out there, now is the time to speak up! Wait; let me use reverse psychology. ATTENTION wealthy industrialists: I DARE YOU TO BUY me a Tivo. Was that reverse psychology? Oh what does it matter, no wealthy industrialists are checking out my site. (Now that was reverse psychology! I think.)

That’s it. Tune in tomorrow when I make a desperate plea to wealthy widows. Have a great day. God Bless America.

Who’s looking forward to 8 Mile? The best soda on the market right now is Dr. Pepper’s Red Fusion. It’s very tasty; it can’t be good for you. Soda/pop is the modern equivalent of tonics and elixirs. Think about it – it’s carbonated, sugar water. We don’t need it. I need to stop drinking soda. I had a good breakfast yesterday. I had some oatmeal, some OJ and a croissant. OK, the croissant wasn’t really good for me but I needed something else – Cut me some slack! They give Heroin addicts methadone when they try to kick the habit
A croissant is my methadone.

On my way home last night, the guy at the game store was taking out the trash. I took this opportunity to ask him the value of my old-school Playstation. His answer — $15. $15! I couldn’t believe it. I’d rather throw it in the sewer than sell it for $15. I was really surprised/shocked. I got back home and tried to beat this Tony Hawk game. I couldn’t do it. So, I got online and found a cheat code that unlocks everything in the game. I played around for 15 minutes and my “addiction” was cured. Sometimes, cheating is necessary — remember that kids.

After that, I took some time to update my cell phone. I got rid of old numbers, called a number and updated something and I changed the main message. It used to read “ready” but I changed it to this:

Bob updates his cell phone

It says, “Killyourcell” it’s like a bumper sticker for the phone. I did have “
F**K you” but that seemed like I was saying that to myself. After that, I looked at my real phone, then at my cell, then at my real phone and again at the cell. You guessed it — I called myself. And to make matters worse, I started talking. I enjoyed the echo.

Here’s something odd. I felt this pinching in my underwear last night. Upon further investigation, one of those security tags was stuck to my drawers.

Bob found this in his underwear,


Odd, I didn’t buy any new clothes with those security tags? Then it hit me, when I did my laundry, I found one of those in the wash – it’s not from my clothes. Or is that exactly what they want me to think? I’ve never done this before but I need to
encrypt something – you won’t be able to read what I’m about to write, only the intended person with the encryption key will be able to read it, please bear with me.


OK, thank you. That’s it. Have a great day.

God Bless America.