I can’t believe it; I think I’m getting a cold! First the flu/stomach problems and now a sore throat — this is B.S.! I’m going to load up on cold pills to try and put a stop to the madness. This is crazy!

I got home last night and did the usual routine. I changed my clothes and couldn’t believe it. My favorite shirt was still clean – that’s unheard of on a Thursday night! It’s the little things in life; it has to be the little things.

The plan for this morning is to get my “new” car window put in. I hope everything goes smoothly. If I have time, I’d also like to squeeze in a haircut and visit the bank. That’d be cool.

I don’t have any major plans this weekend. I think I have to wait and see how this cold plays out now. I know I’m going to watch football. I’ll be routing for the Steelers on Saturday.

If you’re like me, a student of the human body, this next story will amaze you. Or you’ll throw up, one or the other. My friend, who didn’t wish to be identified for this story, we’ll call him “Ray”, my friend “Ray” noticed a small bump on his neck get bigger over the years. Rather than risk an unhealthy situation, “Ray”, went to his dermatologist to see what was going on.

“Ray” has a pain

in the neck

The dermatologist said it was an ingrown hair and he’ll just pull it out, no big deal. “Ray” goes home and the bump is still there, odd, he thought. So “Ray” took a pair of tweezers to his neck. A couple of gross minutes later he pulled out -
This HUGE hair came

from “Ray’s” neck!

A huge hair! Honestly, it’s like something from a barber shop floor! I think he should call Ripley’s Believe it or Not! Absolutely amazing/disgusting! Thanks for sharing that with my audience “Ray”, I’d like to say you’re not alone but I have a feeling you probably are, ha ha! Whew, gross!

That’s it! Have a great weekend.

I try not to repeat myself. It’s the hardest thing in the world to do — there are only so many notes one human being can master.

Hi. I hope this is the best Thursday of your life. That’s my personal wish to you. Words can be wonderful. With the right wordage, you can make your fellow man feel good. And isn’t that what it’s all about anyway, feeling good? So, why not pick up the phone and make someone’s day great!? Go on, do it!

I got NCAA 2003 football in the mail yesterday. I played it most of the night — very good game and I got it for a great price — $20 at BestBuy.com. I think I should have been a football player. Or at the very least, a football game designer.

I wonder how my bald spot is coming along these days? I haven’t checked it in a while.

Bob is slowly going


Damn, that’s not good. Oh sweet ironic life. I made a vow to myself at 15 that I wouldn’t let going bald bother me. I’ll just shave my head. But the realization that it is happening is still hard to grasp. Excuse me for a second – Lord! Lord, what’s your plan for me? It’s time to get something going on project B-O-B. Help a brother out. Thanks Lord. OK, I’m back.

Thanks to everyone that helped me make a winter hat decision yesterday. Your feedback is very important to BobBorden.com. I’m going with the gray hat. However, it’s supposed to be 47 degrees today, I think I’d stick out like a turd in a punchbowl if I wore a winter hat.

OK, that’s all I have today. Have a great day.

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Hello. I hope everything is going well in your life. Remember The Police? I’m listening to a live Police CD and they really made some great music together. They have a very crisp/sharp sound. Short and sweet, not a lot of wasted notes, if that makes any sense at all.

You know what I did last night? I went to the stationery store to pick up some thank you notes. There’s something very calming about a stationary store. There’s just a lot of fancy envelopes and cards. That’s it! So very simple, yet they’re making a go of it. It’s interesting how people make their livings.

I walked home after that and darn if it isn’t freezing out there. I forgot to wear my winter hat, two days in a row. That’s not good — I have to stay healthy! I got home, opened up the old hat drawer and was faced with two options: 1. Show my team sprit while staying warm and wear my Steelers hat or 2. Wear the very warm and functional gray hat.

Which winter hat should

Bob wear?

I’m leaning towards the gray hat but I also like the Steelers’ hat. Let me know what you think on my message board.

I played the lotto last night. I’m going to check the numbers later today. I’d check them now but I still need a little more fantasy time. Better to dream and have a good day than to remove all doubt and feel disappointed. And just to let the lottery folks know, I don’t need a lot of money. That guy that won the $315 million last week, I don’t need all that. Once you buy the solid gold toilet and vintage Trans Am, what else is there? My fingers are crossed.

Let’s see, winter hats, lotto, is their anything else? I was going to get a haircut last night but the thrill of the stationery store made me want to cut my loses and go home. Maybe I’ll get one tonight? I could very easily do it myself but I’ve been getting good results lately at the old Super Cuts.

OK, that’s it! Have a great day.

If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)

Hello Tuesday. It’s good to be alive on a Tuesday. Not sure what that means, I just felt poetic. The first day back is always a shock to the system. I took it slow and weaved my way forward yesterday. That’s all you can do sometimes.

My used car window was at work when I arrived yesterday. It looks sweet.

Bob’s new


I’m going to try and get it put in this week. I’ve been toying around with the idea of just selling my car. I don’t honesty and truly need one in this area. My having a car was a way for me to hold on to my
Ohio upbringing. Growing up, you didn’t walk across the street if you needed something; you drove. I love having a car but I don’t love it when people break my window just to steal the change from my ashtray. I have to really think about it. Part of me thinks that I’d let the bastards win if I sold it. I don’t know?

With the luck I’ve been having lately, I could almost see myself tripping and breaking my window on the way home. I was extra careful last night. I had two layers of bubble wrap around that sucker. And when I came to a slippery sidewalk, I was almost crawling. I was a sight — A big, slow-walking man, carrying a car window in bubble wrap. Is this life?! Very funny.

I think part of my sickness is still hanging in there. I’d say I’m at 85% right now. I feel great but my system is still a little out of whack. I just had a thought; maybe I shouldn’t talk about this kind of stuff? Ah screw it, nobody reads this crap anyway – no pun intended, HA HA HA HA HA! “Boooooooooooo! Go back to Ohio Borden!” Damn, tough audience today.

I watched the old Late Night show on Trio last night. Andy Kaufman was the guest, very funny. I used to watch Late Night every chance I got. Oh sweet, sweet memory lane.

That’s it! Have a great day. This reminds me, I’m thinking about changing my sign-off for 2003. For over a year I ended the diary with God Bless America. Now, I’m thinking, why not mix it up a little? So, I’m going to end today’s diary with a new, original sign off. Let me know how you like it on my message board. OK, here we go:

OK, that’s it! Have a great day. May the force be with you. I just came up with that, wow, pretty good.


Happy New Year! It’s hard to believe it’s 2003, time flies. So what did I do on my week off? I drove back to my homeland, Steubenville, Ohio.

Day one: My Mom got a hot tip on a pony so we went up to the track to spend some quality time together. Her tip didn’t pan out but we had a good time anyway. Thanks, Mom.

Day two: I was hoping to attend the Steelers’ game today with my friend Tim but it was cost prohibitive. Instead, we played PS2 football from 2:30 to 11:00. It was fantastic.

Day Three: I cleaned my car. Waxed it and everything. It really looked nice for about five minutes then the rain and snow came down. I should correct that last sentence, I should say that my car looked as nice as a car could with a missing window. I have the window now; I’ll put it in this week — hopefully. Later that night, I went over to my brother’s house and hung out. 3 nephews and a niece — they wear me out but I love ‘em.

Day Four: New Year’s Eve. I went over to my brother’s again and left around 11:00. There’s nothing like bringing in the New Year with Dick Clark and two cats. The holidays this year were very uneventful. My heart just wasn’t where it should have been.

Day Five: Day one of the sickness. I woke up and everything was fine. But around 12, I started getting the shakes. Teeth chattering, legs freezing and it felt like there was a sun lamp aimed at my forehead. I called my sister-in-law, Liz, and she told me that Max, the littlest Borden, had the same symptoms. Max didn’t eat his dinner the night before and I was hanging out with him like there was no tomorrow. He gave me the sickness! Was this Max’s way of thanking me for not getting him a Christmas present? I know it sounds cruel that I didn’t get him a gift but I have a rule where I don’t buy presents for kids that still crap in their pants.

Public enemy #1

Well, I can’t worry about how and why I got sick – I have to get better. But know this Max,
you’re on my list.

Day Six: Day two of the sickness. My fever broke but now I feel like if I eat anything, I’ll vomit. All I can do today is sit in a chair and watch TV. I think I hate TV now — it’s just all so plastic and meaningless. Then I remember that I work in TV and quickly change my opinion.

Day Seven: Day three of the sickness. Woke up at 4am and felt like I was going to vomit. I drank some water, relaxed and went back to bed. I woke up at 6am and vomited. Ever vomit on an empty stomach? I went back to sleep and woke up around 9. I finally felt like eating but without getting too gross, another problem cropped up, stomach problems. Man oh man! I ate lunch, dinner and packed up my stuff for the drive back to Hoboken on Saturday.

Day Eight: Day four of the sickness. Got up around 8 and my stomach problems haven’t passed. Rather than playing rest stop roulette on an eight hour drive, I postponed my trip by a day.

Day Nine: Sickness is over, finally! Woke up early, felt good, loaded up my car and hit the road. 5 miles from home my car “window” was making a lot of noise and letting the elements in. I pulled over, applied more tape and started again. This time it made even more noise! Defeated, I turned around and went back home. My Mom gave me some duct tape and that did the trick.Thanks again, Mom. I drove all day, enjoying the winter scenery and enjoying just being outside. I tuned in the Steelers’ game around 1:00 and before I knew it, I was back in Hoboken. I was able to see the last 6 minutes of the game. Man, it wasn’t pretty but at least they won. Very exciting. I picked up a burrito for dinner and just relaxed after that.

And that was my vacation.

New Year’s Resolutions, I made a few. Here’s the very short list:

1. Achieve and maintain a comfortable weight
2. Try to be more understanding of stupid people
3. Become an Ultimate Fighter

I’m back! Have a great day. God Bless America