Hello, Hello, Hello. I had a pretty good weekend. Friday night, I didn’t do much. In fact, I can’t remember what I did? That’s odd? Oh my God, I must have been drugged! Ah, I’m just kidding. I think I played some old-school Playstation and flipped through the TV dial.

Now, here’s where all the fun starts happening – Saturday. I woke up around 10:30. There was a water main break earlier in the week and a boil water order was in effect. I woke up thirsty and wasn’t sure if the water was OK to drink. I always say, better safe than sorry, so I opened up the fridge and grabbed a beer. Man, was that a good feeling! I felt like a rock star. Around that time, my friend Walter called up and said, “let’s play some video games.” I thought that was a pretty good idea. A few hours later, I was on my way to Walter and “Sally’s” place.

I usually take the train over to the city but I wasn’t in the mood. I got in my car and drove over. I like driving places; it makes me feel like a human. I didn’t have too much trouble finding a spot. Walter and I played Tony Hawk 3, very spirited game play. Then, Jay called up and said, “Let’s go see 8 mile” and before we knew it, we were on our way to 8 mile.

Walter, “Sally”, Colleen, Jay and

Bob enjoyed 8 mile

And now it’s time for a new feature to BobBorden.com – I call it,
BobBorden.com’s 8-word movie review – here it goes: I have to say, I really enjoyed it. And that was BobBorden.com’s 8-word movie review.

After that, Walter, “Sally” and I went back and played more video games. I have a video game jones right now. Damn video game jones! I drove back to Hoboken around 12:30. At 12:30, the only parking spots are on the other end of town. To my shock and amazement, there was a spot on my block! Unheard of at that hour! I was in the zone!

Sunday, my alarm was set for 7:30, I wanted to get up early, grab hold of the day and make it mine! I woke up around 11. Oh well, the day could still be mine! I headed over to the A & P; I had a date with the Coinstar machine. That machine is the best invention of the 21st century! I had about $78. That’s sweet money! I did some shopping and headed back home to drop off my goods. It was 67 degrees on Sunday; I put some shorts on and drove to Nutley to do my laundry.

I had a perfect laundry experience. There weren’t a lot of people in there — I love that. While my clothes were drying I enjoyed some pizza and watched some football. Very calming. I drove back to Hoboken and I got the best spot on the street! SCORE! It’s the best spot because no one can park in front or behind you.

So, I have $78 burning a hole in my pocket. I’m thinking about upgrading my old Playstation. I’m leaning towards a Game Cube or a PS2. I’m undecided. I took my old system and traded it in for store credit. I had fun looking around the store, I’m not sure why. I was close to buying the Game Cube but I really need to think about it.

I watched a lot of football, The Sopranos, Curb your Enthusiasm and so on.

That’s it! OK, have a great day. God Bless America.

Hello. I hope you enjoyed yesterday’s BobBorden.com Classic diary. I couldn’t believe I slept my night away. I probably should have slept last night as well. I just got home late and watched some TV — kind of boring. But in the same breath, I don’t seem to have the drive to do things anymore. I’m sick of bars, smelly movie theaters and just people in general.

Case in point. I check my mail last night and I got a letter that was insulting.

This is what its come to


It’s addressed to “Our single friend” – What the hell!? Now my mail is mocking me?
I don’t need this. I know I’m single. I get sales calls on my phone machine all the time and now this? Is this the new trend in advertising? What’s next, a telegram addressed to ‘fat ass in Hoboken’?! Why the heck not?! I tired; I should have gone to bed earlier. I’m not making any sense.

I have nothing lined up for this weekend. I think the last thing I need right now is a solitary weekend. I just need to do some stuff and all will be right with the world. Did I mention that as I’m writing this, 1:22 a.m., I’m very tired.

I need new shoes. Maybe I can buy new shoes? I also need to get some new glasses; it’s been a while. I have to say; the glasses I’ve been sporting for the last two years have just been great — Stylish, sexy and comfortable. They’re going to be hard to beat. I had some messed up glasses growing up: red frames, glasses with beveled lenses, square glasses – you name ‘em — I tried ‘em.

OK, that’s all I got. Have a great weekend. God Bless America.

OK, this has never happened before. I got home last night and jumped into bed for a second. Man, with my comforter on there, my bed is like a cocoon. The next thing I knew, I opened up my eyes and it was 1:18 am. I’m in quite the diary spot. Nothing really happened to me yesterday and it’s really too late for me to spend a lot of time on this today. So, enjoy this BobBorden.com CLASSIC DIARY from 7-11-01. 7/11 was a crazy time, pre 9/11, some call it the age of innocence — enjoy this historical look back in time.


7-11-01
It’s official! I’m the proud owner of a 1989 Nissan 240sx coupe. 106,000 miles, power sunroof, windows, mirrors and it has a/c!!!!!!!! The best part of this whole transaction was that I bought it off a nice couple – not a dealer. I love it when you meet someone and right away you know they’re good people. Steve and Lis (pronounced – Liz), thank you very much for a great transaction! Everything just clicked.

Now, here’s the thing that I’m a little worried about, it’s a 5-speed and I can’t drive a 5-speed. So why did I get it? It’s always been a fantasy to be able to shift those gears. I’d watch Steve McQueen shift in Bullitt and say to myself – damn that’s cool. Then the reality set in that I drive a Skylark and then I’d go eat a bag of chips. Walter is going to show me the ropes tonight, I’m eager to learn! If you know of anyone that needs a Skylark for cheap, in the NY/NJ area, drop me a line. Wow, I’m excited! I had my ’89 Skylark since day one. A lot of good times with that ride, college, work, vacations, kicking it on the turnpike. I’m going to miss her. Screw it; I’m going to ask Walter if he’ll drive it off a cliff for me, ha ha. It got me here from Ohio; it’s not that bad.

I went to bed last night reading the owner’s manual. OK, that’s it; I’m too excited to write about anything else today. Be real, have a great day! One more thing, the first song I’m going to play in my new ride is Bob Seger’s Against the Wind.

TV shows I should be watching but I’m not: 24 – end of list. I missed the first season and I just haven’t been able to watch it this season. I have two regular shows to keep up with, The Sopranos and Curb your Enthusiasm – how many new shows can one man watch? I need a Tivo. I watched American Movie instead of 24.

I was busy yesterday adding some new items to the BobBorden.com store. Just added: A lovely holiday ornament, just in time for the holidays. And a Flying Disc – also, just in time for the holidays? They’re both adorned with the classic BobBorden.com logo – buy early, buy often. And coming soon: A BobBorden.com Wall Clock. More information on that when I get it.

Yesterday, I talked about changing the “text” on my cell phone. I changed it from “ready” to “Killyourcell” — I turn it on today and it reads:

Bob’s cell phone

fights back

“Hi asshole” What the heck!?
Technology.

Is there any type of “AA” program for people addicted to sweets? I tried a mock diet yesterday — I didn’t eat enough throughout the day. Then at night, it was hello crap train! Damn leftover Halloween candy! Damn sugar! Damn Damn Damn!

Somebody buy me a Tivo. If there are any wealthy industrialists out there, now is the time to speak up! Wait; let me use reverse psychology. ATTENTION wealthy industrialists: I DARE YOU TO BUY me a Tivo. Was that reverse psychology? Oh what does it matter, no wealthy industrialists are checking out my site. (Now that was reverse psychology! I think.)

That’s it. Tune in tomorrow when I make a desperate plea to wealthy widows. Have a great day. God Bless America.

Who’s looking forward to 8 Mile? The best soda on the market right now is Dr. Pepper’s Red Fusion. It’s very tasty; it can’t be good for you. Soda/pop is the modern equivalent of tonics and elixirs. Think about it – it’s carbonated, sugar water. We don’t need it. I need to stop drinking soda. I had a good breakfast yesterday. I had some oatmeal, some OJ and a croissant. OK, the croissant wasn’t really good for me but I needed something else – Cut me some slack! They give Heroin addicts methadone when they try to kick the habit
A croissant is my methadone.

On my way home last night, the guy at the game store was taking out the trash. I took this opportunity to ask him the value of my old-school Playstation. His answer — $15. $15! I couldn’t believe it. I’d rather throw it in the sewer than sell it for $15. I was really surprised/shocked. I got back home and tried to beat this Tony Hawk game. I couldn’t do it. So, I got online and found a cheat code that unlocks everything in the game. I played around for 15 minutes and my “addiction” was cured. Sometimes, cheating is necessary — remember that kids.

After that, I took some time to update my cell phone. I got rid of old numbers, called a number and updated something and I changed the main message. It used to read “ready” but I changed it to this:

Bob updates his cell phone


It says, “Killyourcell” it’s like a bumper sticker for the phone. I did have “
F**K you” but that seemed like I was saying that to myself. After that, I looked at my real phone, then at my cell, then at my real phone and again at the cell. You guessed it — I called myself. And to make matters worse, I started talking. I enjoyed the echo.

Here’s something odd. I felt this pinching in my underwear last night. Upon further investigation, one of those security tags was stuck to my drawers.

Bob found this in his underwear,

ouch!

Odd, I didn’t buy any new clothes with those security tags? Then it hit me, when I did my laundry, I found one of those in the wash – it’s not from my clothes. Or is that exactly what they want me to think? I’ve never done this before but I need to
encrypt something – you won’t be able to read what I’m about to write, only the intended person with the encryption key will be able to read it, please bear with me.

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I WANT OUT – I WON’T BE YOUR SPY – STOP TRYING TO TRACK MY EVERY MOVE. END ENCRYPTION

OK, thank you. That’s it. Have a great day.

God Bless America.