I like Friday! There, I said it. Holy crap, did you see the tightrope walker, Philippe Petit, on Late Show last night? The guy was 14 stories high, walked over Broadway, using nothing but a rope and a stick. I was impressed. I watched it from the 14th floor. I honestly think people are nuts. He did it in the rain too! That was something. Good for him.

I was getting soaked walking home last night, and then it hit me. I put a plastic garbage bag in my book bag after the last big storm. Let me tell you, that’s the
smartest thing I’ve done in a long time. I was soaked but my bag stayed dry.

Bob used a garbage bag
to keep his bag dry
Consider that a household hint from BobBorden.com.

It’s another crap day today — rain, fog, very unpleasant. I was walking to the bus stop this morning. I was across the street when the bus pulled up. At that point, you really have to get your butt across the street or you’ll miss the bus. A car drove by and I had a space to walk across the street. I made my move but this Fu**ing van kept coming. Then the guy made a motion for me to stay back while he passed. The pedestrian has the right of way! He passed and I yelled, “THANK YOU!” He yelled back, “You’re welcome.” Without even thinking about it, I flipped him the bird, to the back of his van. I was pissed! What an asshole!

Bob: More animal than man

I have the right of way, it’s raining, the bus is at the stop but this guy couldn’t stop? People suck. I’m glad that it ended after I gave him the finger — The last time I got in a fight, I blacked out. When I came to, they were taking the guy away on a stretcher. Crazy world.

OK, that’s it for me today. Have a great weekend! God Bless America.

Hello! I feel pretty good today, not really sure why. So, I’m riding home on the bus last night. The second stop, I have to get up because the woman next to me (a cute redhead actually) has to get off the bus. I get up and move to an empty seat up front, a seat that was occupied by an older gentleman – he got off at that stop too. I start to sit down, I looked over and there was an umbrella hanging off the side of the seat. “Hey” I said to myself, “that guy left his umbrella on the bus!” I didn’t have time to think, only react. I grabbed the umbrella, got off the bus and asked the man if this was his umbrella. “Nope, that’s not mine.” He said. The bus pulls away. The cute red head says, “Looks like you have a new umbrella.” I put my head down and said, “Alright.” I live on the other side of Hoboken. When you make an ass out of yourself, it’s always nice to walk it off, ha ha. I wonder whose umbrella it was?

(File photo)
not the actual umbrella

I don’t want to say anything bad about the homeless. But I have to get this out of my system — I “ran” into the same homeless person the last two nights in the Port Authority. Both nights, the smell was the same, unbelievable — Olfactory sensory overload. I’m not making fun, not at all. It’s too bad people live like that. I got on the subway a few weeks ago. It was rush hour; the car was packed, except for where I was standing. I was very close to a homeless man and the smell almost made me vomit. I had to get off the train at the next stop. I don’t know why I wrote that down? It just made me think what a crazy world this is sometimes.

Time for a new segment to BobBorden.com, I call it: Sarcastic Paragraph. Here we go – When the media talks about The Sopranos, would it be possible to say the phrase, “Fuhgeddaboudit” a little more? I love it when writers do that, it’s so funny and original. Thank you, that was Sarcastic Paragraph.

I should have more today but I don’t. Did you see my Security Advisory from yesterday? I’d like to pat myself on the back for my fine graphic work. I used the real Homeland Security chart as a reference. I have larceny in my blood. I’m still trying to break into my high school’s computer to change my grades. Damn Wargames and its unrealistic scenarios!

OK, Have a great day. God Bless America.

Hello. I got a haircut last night. Yep, SuperCuts. I don’t have time to set up a relationship with a new barber. I’ve said this before; I don’t like telling my life story every time I need a trim. The one good thing about SuperCuts, I’m in and I’m out. No small talk. They do a volume business.

I was in the record store last night. The new Beck CD was playing. They were playing a sad song from the CD and I was in a happy mood. I had the CD in my hands and then my eyes wondered. I ended up buying The Beatles‘ A Hard Day’s Night on DVD. I didn’t get to watch it but I’m looking forward to it. I’ve never seen it.

I did manage to watch the season premiere of NYPD Blue. A friend of mine from Steubenville, Sam Vance, was on. He’s been on there before. Pretty cool.

I know this guy

(bad photo)

He had some lines too.
Great job Sam!

The Homeland Security Advisory System down graded its status from High to Elevated yesterday. That got me to thinking – Maybe I should do my part to pitch in? I think BobBorden.com needs an Advisory System. I did a lot of research and a lot of number crunching yesterday. According to my findings, our status should still be High. To help track this, I made up this handy chart:

BobBorden.com now tracks

Homeland Security

Anything I can do to help. That’s it for me. Have a great day. God Bless America.

Yo. This past weekend and last night, no matter what’s on TV, I always seem to end up watching The Wash — Starring Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre. It’s not very good but I enjoy it. There’s something very entertaining about watching Snoop Dogg. Put Snoop with the right project and then you’ll have something.

Snoop Dogg in

The Wash

I won the Canadian football pool at work yesterday. Hello $6 – The Canadian pool hasn’t really caught on yet but you have to be in it to win it! I bought a $5 scratch off ticket and a lotto ticket. Hello easy street, goodbye poorhouse. I lost on the scratch off ticket, damn.

I need a haircut. I don’t really need one but it’s starting to grow over my ears. I hate that. I can’t do SuperCuts again. I think I may go to a real barber, old school. Hey, the new Beck CD is out today. Rolling Stone gave it 5 stars; I may have to go to the record store tonight.

Speaking of music, I picked up some ‘new to me music’ this past weekend. I bought Outkast’s Stankonia and Roxy Music’s Siren. I really like Roxy Music. I happened upon an old review and that made me want to broaden my musical horizons. I like Outkast a lot but I got the CD mostly because I like to say “Stankonia” Come on, say it, it’s fun – STANKONIA!

OK, that’s about it. Have a great day. God Bless America.

Hello. Man it was humid this weekend. It just made me feel sick, like I had malaria. Anyway, I had Friday off. It was Emmy weekend and a lot of the staff flew out to LA for the ceremony. I declined to go because I just spent two weeks out there in August.

Friday, I woke up, staked my claim in front of the TV and stayed there until dinner. I picked up some Mexican food, mmmmmm. I watched more TV and called it a night. Some may say, I wasted a day off but I think I needed the rest.

Saturday, I drove to an electronics store, The Wiz. I wanted to buy a DVD to watch that night. I swear I was looking for an hour! I couldn’t find anything. Finally, I came across The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai. I heard good things about it. It’s a cult classic. I didn’t care for it, at all. I sold it four hours after I bought it. Checkout the receipt from The Wiz:

The Wiz is wasting paper

That’s the biggest receipt I’ve ever seen! Multiply that and all their customers — so much waste. What a wasteful world we live in.

Hey, check it out; the A & P had a sale on paper towels. I bought 12 rolls of paper towels for $4.99!

$4.99 for 12 rolls of paper towels!

So I’m a hypocrite, at least I admit it.

Sunday, I drove into the city. I went to my office because I wanted to take some old junk home. I cleaned my office last week. Now it has a much more professional feel. Clean office, clean mind. After that I drove to Nutley and did my laundry. One of my favorite simple pleasures on earth is putting my clothes in the dryer; walking next door to the pizza parlor, order up a slice and an R/C Cola. That’s sweet living. OK, two slices.

Sunday Night, I watched the Emmy Awards. I’m happy to report that Late Show with David Letterman took home the Emmy for Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Series — Congratulations, to us. Very exciting!

That’s it for Monday! Have a great day. God Bless America.