Hello. First up, a program note: This is the last diary until August 19. I know that seems like a long time but I like to think of it as only two weeks. I was pulled aside at work yesterday and was told that I need to take some time for myself. So, that’s what I’m going to do. It’s strange, they kept saying I should vacation at a place called “Rehab.” I’m not really sure where that is but it’s time off nonetheless. (That was just a joke, sorry Mom)
I watched the E! True Hollywood Story on Family Feud last night. My social life has hit an all time low. Watching a TV show about the “behind the scenes” at Family Feud is a sign. I thought to myself, you must have something better to do. Turns out, I didn’t. Time to jump-start my life!
You know what I did yesterday? I wrote a letter to Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue. I’ve been a huge fan since grade school. I was sitting at my desk and I just said to myself, I’m going to write a letter to Nikki Sixx. I’m hoping he writes back, that would be awesome! Rock ‘n Roll FOREVER!
Good Lord, did you know that Richard Dawson married one of the Family Feud contestants? Wow. I love Hollywood. And I’m glad I watched that Family Feud show after all.
OK, that’s about all I have. While I’m gone, please feel free to catch up with ‘all things Bob’ in my diary archives section. Also, in my links section, checkout Zach’s website and Rick’s website. Very entertaining.
See you again on the 19th
(Why must Pickle Joe hate so much, why?!)
Hello. You know Priceline.com is great but heaven forbid you enter $10 a day for a rental car! Please forgive me, I’m not a millionaire! I didn’t realize how hard it was to book a Geo Metro! Count to ten, center yourself and breath. That didn’t work! I just want to rent a car, I don’t want to buy the damn thing! Am I losing my mind? Have I gone insane?! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Internet Acting, thank you, thank you very much.
I watched the Andy Griffith Show last night. Opie got up the guts to ask this girl out. She said yes, then was asked out by the cool kid. She calls up Opie and cancels on him. The poor kid! You know it’s very hard when you’re growing up. People have feelings. Opie has feelings! Thank goodness for Andy, he helped Opie out. He suggested that Opie go to the dance alone. He did and had a great time. And the girl realized what a horrible thing she did to Opie. It turns out, that the cool kid ditched her. Opie and the girl ended up talking and having a great time. I’m glad it worked out.
OK, back to reality. Sweet Lord it’s hot. It’s hot and sticky and sticky and hot and hot and hot and sticky. Nothing like waking up in a pool of your own sweat. I’m not sure if this is the right time but I’d like to remind the female readers of BobBorden.com that I’m single.
I picked up the new Springsteen CD last night. I’m going to listen to it when I have a large amount of free time. So, I’ll be listening to it today at work. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. That was just a joke.
The free time I did have last night, I used to tweak my Photoshop skills. After an hour of work, I came up with this gem:
From the mind of Bob Borden
It’s Pickle Joe riding a horse! Come on, give it up, that’s funny! Pickle Joe has an attitude! I love my life. Sitting in my apartment, in my underwear, making up stuff.
I don’t know if you noticed my Photo of the Day yesterday. It was a photo of a nectarine. That bite mark is from me. That’s the first nectarine I’ve ever had. And I have it on film. I like the thought of that.
That’s it. Have a great day. God Bless America.
Hello. My Jury Duty worries are over. I called up last night and they don’t need me. That’s a load off the old mind. I’m 32, have no girlfriend or any kind of responsibility and I’m going to judge the fate of another man? Probably best I wasn’t called. To be honest, I was secretly hoping I’d have to go. I was looking forward to getting home at a decent hour and living like a regular person. I even bought food. I was looking forward to cooking up a chicken burger. Not sure what a chicken burger is but I bought them anyway.
I can’t believe the number of animals that have washed ashore in the last two weeks. Whales and squid are getting their butts kicked right now. And with that statement, an idea was born!
I have these chicken burgers in the fridge, they’re going to go bad — why not turn lemons into lemonade?!
I made the time last night and made up some new characters, Chicken Larry and Pickle Joe. Let’s put both ideas, animals washing ashore and my leftovers, together in a cartoon, BobBorden.com proudly presents: Leftover Theater:
Chicken Larry and Pickle Joe
comment on the events of the day
Makes you think doesn’t it? Hello? I like making photos in Photoshop!
I was in the store last night buying some crap that’s no good for me and this woman walked past. Nothing unusual about that but a few seconds later I was overcome with the scent of CK one! It was like a wave of nasty perfume crashed all around me. Who’s still wearing CK one?! I thought that went the way of grunge bands and poetry slams. So nasty.
Speaking of nasty — there was a little trouble in the bus line this morning. This guy cuts the line, sort of. He stood behind everyone else. A few seconds past and this woman said to the guy, “Ah, the end of the line is over here.” The guy said, “Thanks but I’ll wait over here.” Whew, those were some tense moments. If you factor in the heat, it really could have gotten ugly. I saw the guy too but I said to myself, in the grand scheme of things, does this really affect me? The answer was, it didn’t. I did enjoy seeing that woman get her panties in a bunch. My theory of the human race is intact; people are stupid. Another example of that theory; Leftover Theater. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Looking forward to buying the new Bruce Springsteen CD tonight. The Boss is back! And that my friends is it! Have a great day. TOO HOT TO SLEEP! God Bless America.
Friday, I went to the movies with my friend, Jay. We saw Austin Powers 3. I saw Austin Powers 2 a few years back, it was really bad! I’m not sure why I went to #3 but I was happily surprised. It was really very entertaining. And isn’t that why we go to the moves in the first place, to be entertained? Am I right people?
Saturday, I got up around 12. I was listening to music on my headphones and just couldn’t get up. That’s a nice feeling. I did my laundry after that. I had a salad and some pizza for dinner, mmmmmmm. I watched Buffalo ’66 Saturday night. Damn, that’s a good film!
Sunday I went to the A & P and bought some nectarines. I’ve never had a nectarine before. They just looked so good that I had to buy some. I doubt I’ll ever eat them. After the store, I just crashed.
I called the jury duty people and I don’t have to go! I have to check the machine Monday night to see if I have to go Tuesday. That’s kind of frustrating. Oh well. You know there’s a show on HGTV called Spectacular Pools?! And what’s even odder than that, I’m watching it! I love TV and I hate it. Just kidding TV, I love you!
Did you see the story from California about the hundreds of squid washing up on shore?
SAN DIEGO (AP) – Thousands of jumbo flying squid measuring up to 2 feet long have washed ashore at a La Jolla beach, surprising scientists and swimmers. Workers on Friday removed 12 tons of dead and dying squid stranded at La Jolla Cove.
Time to go. That’s it! God Bless America.
Hello. Friday! I’m working for the weekend. I work hard and I play even harder! I don’t have anything going on. How about that weather? So, I get home last night and I have to be honest, I really didn’t want to be alone. I’m a loner by nature, but every now and then it just kind of stinks. I probably should have gone out after work but I didn’t want to hangout at a bar.
I’m happy to report, that instead of feeling sorry for myself, I picked up the old phone and invited an old friend over:
Bob and Giant Squid hang out
As luck would have it, Giant Squid’s date fell through and he wasn’t doing anything either. We watched Becker and drank Coors Light all night. Damn, you get a beer in him and he’ll tell you anything. He kept going on and on about what a punk the Lock Ness Monster is. Nessy this and Nessy that. Enough already! Anyway, we had a great time hanging out and are going to get together again real soon.
Sat in front of annoying cell phone guy on the bus this morning. Just one of “those guys” that thinks he’s sooooooooo funny and clever. The worst! I just closed my eyes and detached myself from the situation.
They don’t need my help promoting their CD but there’s something nice about the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ CD, By the Way.
That’s all for today. Honestly, my goal for today’s diary was putting up the photo of Giant Squid and myself. I love that after 7 years in this part of the world, I’m still making friends. Very nice. Have a great weekend. God Bless America.