It’s Friday! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the weekend. It’s going to be a cold one back east. My next sentence was going to be the following: “The cold is good for you, makes you feel alive.” Then I realized I had no idea what I was talking about! Not a good sign, I’m not even out of the first paragraph yet. My gloves have holes in them. I was shaking someone’s hand last night and noticed several holes on my nice, warm knitted gloves. I’m down to one pair of gloves. They’re black and made out of some material not found in nature. I’ll give them a shot.

I’m sitting at my desk yesterday, working very hard. Then this guy came into my office and hands me some papers. I opened up the envelope and I was served with divorce papers!

Pam and Bob

are no more

Pam, my one and only love, dropped me like a hot rock! The papers didn’t state the reason for the divorce. So, I gave Pam a call. Turns out
she thought it was all just a joke! Were the flowers a joke, was our reception A JOKE?! — Think about it Pam. I’m real! I have feelings; my love isn’t something that you can just throw away like common trash. This was the best week of my life and sadly, the worst week of my life. I’ll go on Pam, don’t worry about me. I’m going to be fine.

To the nice people on my message board – you were right, I was wrong. I learned a lesson and today I’m a better man for it. What a week! Pam and I will remain friends. And to all the ladies out there, Bobby is back on the market! This is an odd website.

I think I should see a movie this weekend. I feel like I haven’t seen a movie in a while. And I think I’ll do my laundry in Hoboken again. There’s a place by me that plays movies/TV while you wash your stuff. Last week I watched Cast Away with Tom Hanks. I enjoyed that movie. I’m still shocked that at the end of the movie, his wife is remarried with a family. I guess people have to move on but damn. I guess I shouldn’t get upset; it’s just a movie.

I bought a CD on Half.com for 75 cents! And it’s brand new. I either found a terrific deal or I have terrible taste in music –something to think about.

OK, that’s it! I’m routing for Oakland and Philly this weekend. Have a great weekend. God Bless America.

Hello Thursday! I had a major crisis last night. I turned on my TV and the picture was green in the corners. I freaked out! I immediately called my TV advisor, Jay. Jay wasn’t home but by the time I left a message, the set cleared up. Whew! The set is 10 years old and was given to me by Jay. I think it’s starting to go but we’ll see. I’ve had it for close to 3 years. After the panic left my body that I would be TV-less for an evening, it hit me – I’m addicted to Television.

Is it the programming, the soft glow of light, the solid black case, the warmth it provides? It could be all of the above. My car and TV are approximately the same age, I wonder if that means anything? Oh wait, I think it means I’m a poor bastard, ha ha! I picked my own lottery numbers the other night hoping that I’d win a quick 35 million. At the end of the day, when your hopes and dreams rest on the winning of the lottery, you know you’re in trouble.

A lot of controversy on my message board concerning my wedding announcement yesterday. I read your messages of shock and disgust but decided to go ahead with it anyway. I’m sick of dating and all that goes with it! I’m very happy to announce that after a long friendship, Pam agreed to be Mrs. PamBorden.com. We couldn’t wait until Valentine’s Day — here’s some photos from our reception last night:

Bob and Pam tie the knot!


Pam read my website, called me up and said “
I’d love to be your wife.” She had me at “I’d.” We’re head over heels for each other! I know I promised Las Vegas for our honeymoon but on such short notice, we had to improvise. Our reception was at T.G.I. Fridays and the honeymoon was at Howard Johnson’s. I know that sounds like a lousy wedding but when two people are so into each other it just doesn’t matter.

So, I hate to say I told you so but I told you so. And to all the “ladies” out there, I say this to you: YOU MISSED THE BOAT! I’m officially off the market! Life is good!

I stopped by the record store the other night looking for a CD that I sold that now I want to listen to again. They didn’t have it. Then I remembered that Prince has a live CD out and I’ll pick that up. I look in the Prince section and nothing. Odd, maybe Prince didn’t put one out after all. I’m walking out the store and I see the new Prince CD. Except it isn’t a CD, it’s a box set. 4 CDs for $57!
I don’t have that kind of money, hell, I just got married! Maybe it’s cheaper online. Just looked online, found it for $47 but still, $47!

OK, that’s it for today. It’s still cold outside but I don’t care anymore because my heart is warm! Have a great day! God Bless America.

Hello. I had a pretty busy day at work yesterday. But that’s what life’s all about, working hard and being proud of a good day at the grind stone. My cold is still hanging in there. That flu shot I had back in October wasn’t worth a plug nickel! I think they may have shot me up with water. I’m done with flu shots; I bought into the hype, lived in a false state of healthiness and suffered the consequences.

I was walking by Rupert’s Hello Deli last night and Rupert and May gave me a free hot chocolate! How nice is that? It was oh so chocolaty good. It’s the little things. Thanks Rupert and May!

As you may or may not know, I don’t have a girlfriend. I am sans woman. I usually don’t think about it that much but with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it crossed my mind. It’s with that thought that I make the following MAJOR BOBBORDEN.COM ANNOUNCEMENT: By St. Valentine’s Day 2003, I Bob Borden of BobBorden.com will be married. I have less than a month to pull all of this together but I can do this. I need this from you; if you know of a woman in the tri-state area, please ask her to drop me a line –

Will somebody please

marry Bob?

I figure we’ll go out, talk, get to know each other and then take the plunge. Where will we get married, where will we honeymoon? Two words: Las Vegas. That’s right, that was NOT a misprint, Las Vegas baby. Now let me set the record straight on something — I’m not desperate, ha ha ha, not by a long shot. I’m just sick of “the game.” I honestly think that at this stage in my life, I’d be better off if I were a couple. OK, again, drop me a line. Thank you.

Holy moly, it’s cold out there! I’m thinking about buying a jacket to wear over my jacket. My leather gloves are worthless. Highly fashionable, but as warm as a cold rock.

OK, talked about work, the weather and set a goal of being married by Valentine’s Day. Yep, that should do it for a Wednesday.

Have a great day. God Bless America.

Hello. I feel like my cold is almost gone but I still have a bit of a stuffed up nose. Not a big deal but I’m still not 100%. I’m starting today’s diary with that information because I have absolutely nothing to talk about today, ha ha — funny because it’s true.

Here’s something, my nephew Lucas drew today’s Photo of the Day. It’s a drawing of an Ultraman clock. I cut it off but the title of his drawing read, “To Good bob Ultraman!” Damn, talented kid.
After my weekend of self-imposed solitude, I found my self in need of some human contact last night. On my way home I called up my friend Tiffany and we arranged to watch Monster Garage. That’s a good show but it’s a little too hokey at times. If only I could find a way to fix all the shows that need guidance. Tiffany’s good people.

OK, believe it or not, that’s all I’m going to write today. Sometimes, less is best.

Have a great day. God Bless America.

Hello. And now, without further adieu, master storyteller, Bob Borden, brings you today’s diary:

I’m going to start with a quick window update. On Friday morning I drove over to the window place to get my used window put in. They were open but no one was around. I saw that they had Saturday hours and decided to come back then because I didn’t want to be late for work. I used my extra time from the window place and put it to great use. I got a haircut.

I went to the barbershop in the subway. I haven’t been there since 9/11. I figure it was probably for the best that don’t relive that particular chain of events. But I needed a haircut and he does really great work, I threw caution to the wind. Halfway through the haircut he asked me if I’ve ever been in before. I paused and said, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I have been here before.” I told him I was superstitious about coming back. It was a nice/funny moment. After that I had time to go to the bank. All this and I haven’t even gone to work yet! Can you say productive?

Bob’s new haircut

Saturday, I woke up at 7am. I had to get up early to go to the window store. That window is going in today come hell or high water! I wonder what that saying means? Anyway, they said it’d take an hour to put the window in. I brought my laundry with me and instead of just waiting, I put my time to good use. After my laundry, I picked up my car. Finally, I have 6 windows again! The used window cost $110 and it cost $65 to get it put in. That’s $175 all because some junkie wanted the change from my ashtray. I will say that $175 isn’t too bad. A new window alone would have cost $300.

After that I drove to the A & P. I got home around 11:30, all my weekend chores complete! Also, keep in mind that I did all this while having a cold. I cleaned up my apartment and got ready for the Steelers game. What a heartbreaker! But they had a great season and they’re going to be pretty tough to beat next year.

Sunday, I was going to go over to Walter and “Sally’s” house to watch the 49ers but my cold was getting the best of me. I stayed in all day and took it easy. The cold has moved to my nose and taste buds. I’m exhausted from all the football this weekend.

OK, that’s it for today. Have a great Monday.

The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur.
Vince Lombardi (1913-1970)