You know what I did recently? I got a physical!
You’ll be happy to know I’m healthy! When I got on the scale I discovered I weighed less than I have in a long, long time. I was so proud I started telling the doctor my weight-loss secrets. No soda, no candy and a lot of dog walking. Then, in the middle of my revelations, I realized something…I’m still a big fat ass! It was just funny. The way I was talking you would have thought I was a weight-loss guru! When we parted ways, I said to the doctor, thank you for your gentle hands. He laughed.

Have a nice day!