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If there is any justice in the world Lance Armstrong will be Manti Te’o's next girlfriend.  Ha ha.  What a weird story.  His girlfriend was a hoax but another player met her?  When did he know she wasn’t real?  Did he go along with her death to gain sympathy/popularity?  Or is he just the most gullible person in the world?  I haven’t been this fascinated with football since the Chicago Bears’ Super Bowl Shuffle.

Lance was stripped of his bronze Olympic medal today.  If you’re in the market for a used trophy case, I’d start driving to Austin, Texas now.  His interview with Oprah airs tonight.  I don’t want to watch it but I’ll probably end up watching it.  It’s such a shame. Lance’s career has inspired so many of our great cyclists like…ahhhh…ummmm…I’ll have to get back to you on this one.

A 51-yead-old Washington state woman smothered her boyfriend, with her breasts, during a drunken fight at their trailer park.  The boyfriend died!  You could make the old “what a great way to go” joke.  But, ugh, there’s nothing funny about this story!  I’m going to place a warning call to Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks’ husband right now.

Have a nice day.