by Bob

Hello! I feel pretty good today, not really sure why. So, I’m riding home on the bus last night. The second stop, I have to get up because the woman next to me (a cute redhead actually) has to get off the bus. I get up and move to an empty seat up front, a seat that was occupied by an older gentleman – he got off at that stop too. I start to sit down, I looked over and there was an umbrella hanging off the side of the seat. “Hey” I said to myself, “that guy left his umbrella on the bus!” I didn’t have time to think, only react. I grabbed the umbrella, got off the bus and asked the man if this was his umbrella. “Nope, that’s not mine.” He said. The bus pulls away. The cute red head says, “Looks like you have a new umbrella.” I put my head down and said, “Alright.” I live on the other side of Hoboken. When you make an ass out of yourself, it’s always nice to walk it off, ha ha. I wonder whose umbrella it was?

(File photo)
not the actual umbrella

I don’t want to say anything bad about the homeless. But I have to get this out of my system — I “ran” into the same homeless person the last two nights in the Port Authority. Both nights, the smell was the same, unbelievable — Olfactory sensory overload. I’m not making fun, not at all. It’s too bad people live like that. I got on the subway a few weeks ago. It was rush hour; the car was packed, except for where I was standing. I was very close to a homeless man and the smell almost made me vomit. I had to get off the train at the next stop. I don’t know why I wrote that down? It just made me think what a crazy world this is sometimes.

Time for a new segment to BobBorden.com, I call it: Sarcastic Paragraph. Here we go – When the media talks about The Sopranos, would it be possible to say the phrase, “Fuhgeddaboudit” a little more? I love it when writers do that, it’s so funny and original. Thank you, that was Sarcastic Paragraph.

I should have more today but I don’t. Did you see my Security Advisory from yesterday? I’d like to pat myself on the back for my fine graphic work. I used the real Homeland Security chart as a reference. I have larceny in my blood. I’m still trying to break into my high school’s computer to change my grades. Damn Wargames and its unrealistic scenarios!

OK, Have a great day. God Bless America.