Happy New Year! It’s hard to believe it’s 2003, time flies. So what did I do on my week off? I drove back to my homeland, Steubenville, Ohio.

Day one: My Mom got a hot tip on a pony so we went up to the track to spend some quality time together. Her tip didn’t pan out but we had a good time anyway. Thanks, Mom.

Day two: I was hoping to attend the Steelers’ game today with my friend Tim but it was cost prohibitive. Instead, we played PS2 football from 2:30 to 11:00. It was fantastic.

Day Three: I cleaned my car. Waxed it and everything. It really looked nice for about five minutes then the rain and snow came down. I should correct that last sentence, I should say that my car looked as nice as a car could with a missing window. I have the window now; I’ll put it in this week — hopefully. Later that night, I went over to my brother’s house and hung out. 3 nephews and a niece — they wear me out but I love ’em.

Day Four: New Year’s Eve. I went over to my brother’s again and left around 11:00. There’s nothing like bringing in the New Year with Dick Clark and two cats. The holidays this year were very uneventful. My heart just wasn’t where it should have been.

Day Five: Day one of the sickness. I woke up and everything was fine. But around 12, I started getting the shakes. Teeth chattering, legs freezing and it felt like there was a sun lamp aimed at my forehead. I called my sister-in-law, Liz, and she told me that Max, the littlest Borden, had the same symptoms. Max didn’t eat his dinner the night before and I was hanging out with him like there was no tomorrow. He gave me the sickness! Was this Max’s way of thanking me for not getting him a Christmas present? I know it sounds cruel that I didn’t get him a gift but I have a rule where I don’t buy presents for kids that still crap in their pants.

Well, I can’t worry about how and why I got sick – I have to get better. But know this Max, you’re on my list.

Day Six: Day two of the sickness. My fever broke but now I feel like if I eat anything, I’ll vomit. All I can do today is sit in a chair and watch TV. I think I hate TV now — it’s just all so plastic and meaningless. Then I remember that I work in TV and quickly change my opinion.

Day Seven: Day three of the sickness. Woke up at 4am and felt like I was going to vomit. I drank some water, relaxed and went back to bed. I woke up at 6am and vomited. Ever vomit on an empty stomach? I went back to sleep and woke up around 9. I finally felt like eating but without getting too gross, another problem cropped up, stomach problems. Man oh man! I ate lunch, dinner and packed up my stuff for the drive back to Hoboken on Saturday.

Day Eight: Day four of the sickness. Got up around 8 and my stomach problems haven’t passed. Rather than playing rest stop roulette on an eight hour drive, I postponed my trip by a day.

Day Nine: Sickness is over, finally! Woke up early, felt good, loaded up my car and hit the road. 5 miles from home my car “window” was making a lot of noise and letting the elements in. I pulled over, applied more tape and started again. This time it made even more noise! Defeated, I turned around and went back home. My Mom gave me some duct tape and that did the trick.Thanks again, Mom. I drove all day, enjoying the winter scenery and enjoying just being outside. I tuned in the Steelers’ game around 1:00 and before I knew it, I was back in Hoboken. I was able to see the last 6 minutes of the game. Man, it wasn’t pretty but at least they won. Very exciting. I picked up a burrito for dinner and just relaxed after that.

And that was my vacation.

New Year’s Resolutions, I made a few. Here’s the very short list:

1. Achieve and maintain a comfortable weight
2. Try to be more understanding of stupid people
3. Become an Ultimate Fighter

I’m back! Have a great day. God Bless America