And now, Master Storyteller, Bob Borden of BobBorden.com presents: Today’s diary. It’s too hot to sleep! The balmy air hovers over my bed like my sweet imaginary girlfriend. ‘Who’s there?’ I ask as I wake in a pool of my own sweat. ‘Why are you wearing a fencing outfit?’ No answer. ‘Who sent you?’ No answer. ‘Hey, did you see my new DVD Tower, pretty sweet huh?’ The silence mocks me. Dawn breaks as the city awakes. The new day’s possibilities
are _____.

Oh sweet creative writing. I took a long walk home last night to celebrate the 80-degree weather and here’s what I learned: Bobby needs to go on a diet! Fat guys and heat do not mix well! Seriously, I’m days away from 100% dedicating my life to health and fitness. Eating crap and not working out isn’t really working for me.

Now it’s time for Bob Borden of BobBorden.com Comments on the News of the Day. I was on the PATH train last night and when we came to a stop, I noticed that someone had defaced a Pontiac VIBE advertisement. They drew in smoke plumes behind the car and on the front, they wrote, “Pollution rules”. I thought to myself, nice, an environmental graffiti “artist” – what is this world coming to?! I get home and I looked up this so-called pollution machine and it gets 29-mpg city and 36-mpg highway. What’s wrong with that? Back in high school my 1977 Buick LeSabre only got 14 mpg. If he/she would have defaced an SUV ad, I could almost understand her point but the Pontiac VIBE?Your argument doesn’t hold water.

Bob likes the

VIBE

So to the uninformed environmental graffiti artist I say this to you: Go screw yourself. Strong words, strong topic. And that was Bob Borden of BobBorden.com Comments on the News of the Day.

It’s going to be 42 degrees on Thursday. This weather sure is jerking my chain. I was chilly at the bus stop yesterday, probably because it was 45 degrees and I was only wearing a short-sleeve shirt. Everyone else was wearing jackets. I stuck out like a turd in a punchbowl. But come 7:30, with the temp up to 80 and everybody’s walking around carrying their jackets like suckers — now who looks stupid!?

Hmmmmmm, I’m not sure what my point was supposed to be in that last paragraph. But it sure does fill out this diary nicely.

That’s it!

God Bless America.