I had a crazy-busy day yesterday! For lunch I ended up eating two giant Slim Jim’s and a Sprite. Not good! But damn if I don’t love a Slim Jim! SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM! Ha ha! Do they still make Screamin’ Yellow Zonkers?

I finally remembered to buy paper plates last night. They had the plates on top of the refrigeration units in the back. I couldn’t reach them and I had to ask the store guy for help. How emasculating! He had to get a ladder to reach them. That was my only saving grace. I can’t reach them but neither can the store guy, look, he needs a ladder, see, I’m not a helpless person!

Did you hear about the Pringles plant that was damaged by tornados this week? It’s the only plant in America that makes Pringles. I don’t mind telling you that over the past couple of years, I’ve become addicted to them. Am I worried about the supply drying up? You better believe I am! I bought a can last night and after every bite, I thought to myself, this could be my last Pringle for a while. Oh these are crazy times! I’ll be following this story closely. (Disclaimer: BobBorden.com is making light of the situation but feels for the people dealing with the disastrous storms.) Maybe this is some strange sign from the Lord that my fat ass should lay off the junkfood?

There’s a city council election next week. Flyers, mass mailings and people everywhere. I even saw a big screen TV on the back of a truck to get the word out – classy. The worst was a fake summons placed on car windshields. Yes, it really got my attention but your message was lost! Idiots. I choose not to vote in the local elections simply because I think everybody’s on the take. I don’t trust Hoboken politics.

The car that I saw for sale from the bus yesterday was gone when I went to check it out last night. I’d call that an omen.

I watch QVC more than I care to admit. Have you ever listened to the people that call in and give their product testimonials? Oh my, I’d say about 80% of the people sound like they’re one step away fromsuicide. Some lady called in last night on the steaks, said she was buying them for her daughter that has kidney problems. But she sounded so joyless. I wonder if she’ll tell her daughter about being on TV? What do you say? “Stacy, I was on QVC last night and I talked about your kidney problems.” Nice.

I’m gearing up for my first weekend without a car. No pun intended. Laundry, I’m OK with. But the A & P seems like it’s more challenging. Will I have to make more than one trip? Should I go early in the day? Will kitty liter be on sale? I have a lot of questions but few answers. I’ll be fine.

Sunday is Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day to the best Mom in the world, my Mom! I don’t want to brag but I sent her some lovely tulips. I had to do something nice this year to make up for last year’s scratch-off lotto ticket debacle, ha ha. Have a great day, sweets!

I’m going to see X-2 this weekend. It’s not my type of movie but everyone says it’s great – we’ll see.

That’s it! Have a great weekend!

God Bless America.